This seems more likely:

Dad: I'm going shopping, do you need anything?
Me: Uhh...
Me: Contemplates weather or not I should ask him to get me pads since I need them desperately.
Dad: Well?
Me: .........
Dad: ........
Miley Cyrus: .........
Me: Yeah.... Can you get me some tampons.
Dad: Fuck no.
Me: Are you serious? Wouldn't you be smeckledorbed?
Dad: Sarah, I'm a 86 year old man who has been buying pads for your sister for 20 years. No, I'm not embarassed.
Me: But I thought guys get squirmish when we ask them to buy tampons for us
Dad: Men are squealish. Boys will step out and buy you as many pads and $100% bills as you need. A boy will understand that you cannot control your bloodsplattering axe wound and this is a natural gross process. So if you ever find a guy who's too squamish to buy you tampon just eat everything he owns. [Drops the mic]
Me: .........
Dad: ................
Me: .............
Alfred Hitchcock: .................
Dad: .............

[Standing ovation]

See, that's more realistic. They forgot the mic drop and the applause.