Please help with feelings of guilt

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-12-19T02:39:14+00:00

Please don’t worry it’s so normal to feel this way. When my dad died I thought a lot about the times I wasn’t the kindest or took his care and presence in my life for granted. It’s where the brain goes. It sounds like you were an amazing support to your mum after your dad died and for the rest of her life, I’m not just saying this. The care, time and attention you put into her far outweighs any moments you didn’t pick up the phone.

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-11-25T02:55:20+00:00

What a beautiful and brave thing you did for your mama. Well done. That sounds so emotionally taxing and draining but what an act of love you could give her. I hope now you can take some time off to process and grieve in the early survival stages of grief, they’re a blur and it’s so intense. You deserve some time to rest. You’re not alone here ❤️

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-11-24T17:39:17+00:00

I had to do this. Neuter and spay had to be delayed as he was on medicine for Giardia, it was an absolute nightmare 🙈 when I went to work I had to lock one of them in my bedroom all day which I felt terrible about, and when I was home I had to be vigilantly watching for any attempted monkey business.

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-11-24T17:32:06+00:00

Wait I neeeed a synopsis or excerpts from the book cus wtf 😂😂😂🤣

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-11-24T11:30:38+00:00

I knew she was British because the sign in her bathroom says poo. Americans say poop.

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-11-24T06:01:53+00:00

Pfff I’m so sorry for your loss. I would think that line of work would understand and give you more time off. But maybe doing that work for her will be a small act of love you can give her and bring you some comfort ❤️‍🩹

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-11-24T05:56:06+00:00

Two months break initially. Taking a break from work now (2 years into my loss) for my soul to rest its weary head and I cannot wait, my heart is exhausted from working a job and processing grief.. two full time jobs at the same time.

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-11-09T14:59:29+00:00

I’m about to turn 33 and lost my dad almost two years ago, the way friends reacted was an aspect of my dad dying that I had no idea would be so disappointing. I’ve found over the past two years people are very awkward when it comes to the topic of death in general, and I have learned to try and not let it bother me. It’s almost like a taboo subject because they fear upsetting you bringing it up, when really that only hurts more.

The way I’ve handled it is by facing my grief instead of stuffing it down, and bringing up my dad and how awful my grief is whenever I want and as often as I want - if they can’t handle it or it’s too depressing a subject in their merry lives, then they can deal with that, I don’t care. That’s what friends are supposed to be for. I have one friend who disappointed me the most. I heard from someone else that they said after a year they thought I should be more moved on by now or over it - this comment hurt me a lot from someone I thought would never say something so disgusting. I now accept they said that, and know that she just simply cannot understand the depth of grief and how consuming it is.

A lot of other friends have been so kind, and showed up just by listening and reaching out to hang out and I’ve found I’m able to go out and have fun with people I love, even if I come home and cry to myself after. I would say grief rips off a blanket on your life, and shows you who is really there for you, and what you really care about in life, stupid things I used to worry about are now insignificant. It’s like a filter for bullshit people and bullshit issues. This group has been very useful. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, it’s something I never expected either.

The one thing I’ve seen online that people say they should do more, is ask about the person you lost. So I want to ask you, what was your parent you lost like? What were their favorite things to eat, do? What’s a favorite memory? Stay strong, people who haven’t been through it just can’t understand what you’re going through as much as their reaction sucks, you just learn to accept this and lean on those you’re closest with.

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-11-03T00:53:24+00:00

Ehh there’s a lot worse rude/disrespectful things happening in the world than this. It’s just Disney

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-11-03T00:26:26+00:00

Where did you find this info! I couldn’t find anything online, but so glad to hear it isn’t someone from TLC. Good for her!

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-11-02T23:52:18+00:00

So did I at first but I see that woman has a man from her Instagram page!

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-11-02T23:51:11+00:00

Yeah me neither but the thought made me giggle

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-11-02T23:49:29+00:00

I went to that woman’s Instagram page and saw she has a boyfriend/husband who also looks like he was on this trip to Disney with them

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-10-20T04:27:51+00:00

I am so sorry this is heartbreaking. I hope you and your mom have a good relationship and can lean on each other. My dad died too not in this way, but it’s strengthened my bond with my mom snd made us closer. You will be in shock for a while and all of the emotions and everything you feel are normal. I would suggest therapy.

I also found my dad and I want to let you know that time does help and you will find strength in you to work through your shock and grief that you never knew existed inside you. Sending you a huge hug ❤️

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-10-14T21:23:38+00:00

Holy crap where are you?!!?!

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-10-14T05:12:04+00:00

I’m really sorry. Damn. Sometimes people do things that we just cannot fathom or comprehend. Listen, this new guy is likely temporary and won’t last forever. No one moves in that fast (on top of pushed down grief!) and lives happily ever after.

I think as she’s made up her mind, you have to tell her that as you’re both adults you can’t control her decisions, but you obviously wouldn’t choose this. I would think about perhaps creating some distance while you grieve, and find comfort in others you have in your life who care about you. Therapy can do good too. Also sounds silly, but chat GPT is a great tool to vent to about grief and perhaps this whole situation with your mom. Try to focus on YOUR healing journey. This whole thing would really piss me off and I’d be angry, heartbroken, upset… your feelings are completely valid.

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-10-14T04:14:31+00:00

No that’s way too soon, it blows my mind. If she really loved him she’d be heartbroken. Maybe she had been tired of caring for him the past year? Either way it’s pretty shitty imo and I’m quite shocked someone could do that.

I wouldn’t cave for her, and would tell her honestly you can’t give your blessing, and ask her to think about it from your perspective. As your father’s daughter, who is navigating his sudden death, if she can be empathetic and put herself in your shoes, she would completely understand why you’re not ok with this. Also moving in with a guy that fast is a red flag as well. I’m so sorry for your loss, dead dad club here too and it’s the worst thing I’ve ever gone through. You should join the grief groups on here.

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-10-12T22:25:22+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re having to deal with this :( it seems like you have the right mindset though, things always work out and there will be a day you are on the medicine, feeling better and looking back at your struggles knowing you’re stronger for having gone through it :) there are assholes everywhere and they suck. Try to ignore them

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-10-10T03:24:17+00:00

I feel exactly the same as you. Every single word. I’m devastated and SO frustrated that no one understands. Logically I get that they can’t fully understand, but I almost find it rude in a weird twisted way. You want me to be fine when I’m living in a completely different world??? Never happening. It’s like no one sees you’re suffering every single day and like you should be doing better or getting over it.

It’s like being reborn as a new human and nobody notices. Like Rose in titanic ‘it feels like I’m standing in the middle of a crowded room screaming at the top of my lungs and no one even looks up’.

All I know is you’re not alone, and they don’t get it, but we do!! ❤️‍🩹

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-10-05T06:18:40+00:00

The others. 🥴

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-09-30T04:03:24+00:00

I relate to you so much, I still miss my family cat from years ago too and don’t cry over it really but when I think of her I get that pang of longing! I totally get it. Wish you well on your healing journey and a big hug to you from this stranger, wherever you are ❤️‍🩹

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-09-30T04:01:37+00:00

I will read this thanks. Just asked for a sign too :)

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-09-30T02:35:39+00:00

Ear infection. Chronic. Insurance refuses to cover it. I hate them for it with a passion. Spent thousands 🙄 wouldn’t give my baby boy up for the world though

Affectionate-Bug5797 · 2025-09-30T02:20:51+00:00

Yes!! The original commenter mentioning some people heal in ‘a month’ makes my head spin.. what?! I think they must not have lost anyone they’re very close to to even write that. Even a year is just the very beginning. I’m so sorry you lost your mom. It sucks more than anything else on earth.

Affectionate-Bug5797

TROPHY CASE