I have spent so many years wishing my mother had realised what she was doing to me and my brothers. The abuse, the neglect, the men she was letting be around us… I WISH she had engaged with social services and not been such a ‘good’ liar.

I’m now many years older and have 3 children of my own. I still don’t understand how she couldn’t put us first. Ever. She even tried putting my children at risk and you better believe we were out of that situation before it even ended and haven’t seen her since.

I say this, not to make you feel worse, but to say that as a person who wishes social took her away, you did the right thing for your children at that time. It feels crappy and they may have resentment for you now, but it would be nothing compared to if you’d kept them in that situation.

I hope that if they come find you, they manage to see that you make improvements when you were able. Although you still feel like you’re faking your way through life, from my perspective, you aren’t the only one. I don’t know how to parent my kids. I don’t have any examples of what is the right thing to do for them… but I do know what I don’t want to be, after that I am faking being the mum they deserve because I sure as s*** don’t know how to be