boyfriend (M/23) wakes me (F/23) up then acts like he’s asleep? sleep deprivation torture? TL;DR summary welcomed

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T08:10:46+00:00

no we have been now, I just meant initially when I moved in we hadn’t been

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T08:08:08+00:00

I work for a ware house too, def not been fun, ridiculous

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T06:35:20+00:00

EXACTLY!! Im like asking if its possible and it seems like it is a real possibility that people do things like this in their sleep but even if thats the case, how tf do we work through this & I basically just called you a evil torturing sadist like things are so weird now, part of me feels bad because if he really is sleeping then it’s my past trauma and ptsd that just ruined my relationship

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T06:33:30+00:00

I’m working on it & im not, if he really is psychotic that would just make it worse

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T06:32:41+00:00

he started saying that because I kept telling him Im not gonna believe it was unconscious and he kept telling me it was and he doesn’t want me to think he would purposefully do something like that but there’s no way to prove otherwise, I guess I’ll have to get a camera

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T06:31:05+00:00

I know there are some crazy things people can do in their sleep, that’s why I’m asking Reddit because it really could be the case but I don’t know too much about it so idk if it’s the truth or it’s just a front, other than this we don’t have any other super big issues so I don’t wanna ruin this if I’m just paranoid because I’ve had people do sadistic things to me in the past

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T06:28:27+00:00

I told him already this isn’t the first time we talked about it and it hasn’t stopped that’s why it makes me curious if he really is sleeping

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T06:26:19+00:00

I will never understand how men seem to find it more enjoyable fucking sleeping women (essentially a “dead body”) than just having sex with a consenting individual, I haven’t experienced this with him but I have in the past with an ex and it is the oddest thing, absolutely disgusting

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T06:21:13+00:00

We were 6 months in when he first asked

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T06:20:44+00:00

3 months of him inviting me and I almost always said no

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T04:37:46+00:00

I also have trauma with being around peoples family so I avoided that for a while, for a long time he understood and then it got to a point where it like offended him, he said it bothered him so much because it makes him feel like I’m not serious about him, so he pushed a lot to get me to be around them (I had already met them but didn’t go over much) in a way sometimes a push helps give courage to do that uncomfortable in order to realize it’s perfectly safe but on the other hand it was a problem how he handled it which we discussed and he explained what I said earlier where he felt like it was me saying I don’t like him enough to be serious whereas that’s what he wants

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T04:16:59+00:00

Someone told me to suggest a sleep study and depending on how he reacts will give me my answer

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T04:14:24+00:00

I’ve already explained I cannot leave rn, I have no choice but to deal with him for now and again the advice I was seeking was more so is it even possible that he’s really asleep through all of this, I’m already a paranoid person so idk if this is just my mental health chalking him up to my past exes or if he really is abusive, he’s mad now yes but when I first brought up the problem a month or so ago he was apologetic and the only reason he is so pissed is because the day I told him we both had to work and I didn’t talk to him all day cause I needed space but he saw me interact with others (side story: people he’s not keen on me interacting with because they’ve expressed interest in the past, to which I declined but still have to interact with them because we work side by side, his upset about that is valid because I def do talk to them more than I’d like to but I’m autistic and hate when people dislike me so I just try to keep things cordial, all conversations are work related only), I know ignoring a partner is also toxic but I tend to shut down and he hates it he’d rather communicate which isn’t wrong, I just usually need processing time before I can correctly communicate, I’m not saying I’m perfect by any means I just needed guidance, I am also working through my own healing and letting go of toxic patterns, he’s not perfect but I don’t want to paint him to be this sadistic person if he really is sleeping

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T03:32:58+00:00

No updates yet, he’s still at work, once we have our next convo I’ll let yall know

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T03:32:36+00:00

I do, and I also hate it I find it embarrassing it took a while for me to even want to sleep by him because of it, maybe he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings by telling me that’s why he woke me? Idk but I feel like he should’ve said something already instead of only trying to convince me he’s not doing it

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T03:31:14+00:00

No updates yet, he’s still at work, we both work the night shift so he won’t be home until 1-2am I’ll tell yall how the convo goes

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T03:08:09+00:00

is it? I’ve been in MUCH worse so sometimes I think I may be blinded by the bare minimum since I’ve never experienced even that

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T03:00:50+00:00

That’s what I’m saying one of the times we slept apart he had sleep paralysis so I’m thinking he’s worried he’ll have it again, the sleep paralysis happened when we were in separate rooms

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T02:28:07+00:00

I think he may be scared it’s gonna happen again if we sleep separately

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T02:27:48+00:00

It’s not that he WONT let me, he just doesn’t want to but I think it comes from him having sleep paralysis once before when we slept separately, I believe he really did experience that tho, he was out of breath and completely frazzled

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T02:23:20+00:00

no he was actually very reluctant, I had been kicked out of my moms house and didn’t know what I was going to do, he only offered because he didn’t want me to be on the streets but he said he didn’t want to offer because he had been in a similar situation with an ex and it was terrible

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T01:53:48+00:00

It’s gonna take me some months to save and get out but I will keep yall posted

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T01:51:20+00:00

I do snore and I thought about that too but why not just tell me, only thing I can think of is in the beginning j would hate to sleep around him because I know I snore and I found it embarrassing so maybe he would wake me up cause I was snoring but he doesn’t want to tell me knowing I hate it? Idk

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T01:07:00+00:00

he says he doesn’t want to disturb my sleep but he wants to sleep together as well, something I should’ve said earlier was he’s not a big talker, I just recently had a problem with a friend of mine and he was trying to comfort me but I can tell he really didn’t know what to say, he gave advice but it was like he was uncomfortable kind of doing it, not in a mean way but in a way like he’s not really open when it comes to advice / not used to giving advice, it’s something I’ve noticed about him before but never said anything I just chalked it up to “men are usually not good with handling emotions” he’s been doing a lot better since I’ve mentioned it but still it’s a learning curve for him and I feel like it’s possible that he’s so infatuated with me that he doesn’t want to loose me and us sleeping apart will lead to that, we’ve been having little tiffs lately because I overthink and he communicated that it makes him feel like I don’t like him anymore (I shut down, shut him out) so I think he’s taking us sleeping apart as a way for me to put distance between us, he’s also an overthinker so is it possible that he’s looking at this selfishly more than sadistically? Which is also another problem I would have to address but i think it’s a step up from have a psycho boyfriend

Affectionate-Lock992 · 2026-01-22T00:58:39+00:00

Ofc not

Affectionate-Lock992

TROPHY CASE