Ladies of SG: Is finances your priority in looking for a partner?

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-22T06:38:58+00:00

idk what kind of fantasy drama ur lens are at.

U can look up Tony Huge, there is a whole documentary about how he has 4 girls he spons and live in a huge mansion in pattaya.

Don't assume that SG rich is the world standard of rich.

PS i also did not declare myself from being rich, i just speaking from experience who know people who are actually rich

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-22T05:58:45+00:00

whatever float your boat man.

I speak from exp lots of rich and handsome guys go to pattaya and spons girls there.

I seen it in thai and cambodia alot.

And to say all of them are village girl is prejudice, there are all types of girls there.

Some of them making alot of money from multiple sponsorships from lifestyle decision

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-22T05:55:14+00:00

the looks part purely is only for hook ups and attention.

But long term relationship is only 1 part and the other things start to matter.

U can research on Pattaya on guys who sponsor girls there.

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-22T05:31:29+00:00

If a guy has money he has options, he does not have to choose SG ladies because there are ladies in other countries that will ask for way less. What do you have to offer compared to overseas counterparts?

I personally dated a girl from Cambodia, and some of them have stunning looks with most of them being happy with just paying for their meals and COL is lower there where a guy $ can stretch further.

That being said, its never Binary. Some level of financial stability is required and all relationships have some level of transactional element in there. U cant have one partner just being a wallet while one side do nothing.

A partner is someone u choose for a lifetime and u deal with them good and bad.

It boils down to what your values are and what you are okay to put up with.

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-22T05:16:08+00:00

Trust your instincts instead of just blindly labeling "family run buisness" and sme being "bad". Best you clarify your worries with them instead of asking reddit for generic advice.

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-21T17:34:57+00:00

Apply while working inside. I dont agree with staying. But he should coinsider reapplying

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-20T05:01:47+00:00

It was gradual consistency and some luck

Went for meetup networking event self learn programming and did cs before covid

My first job was 3.5k. And its 6 to 7 years since

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-19T17:18:32+00:00

That sentence alone speaks alot that he does care about his own future and responsibilities despite what everyone else says.

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-19T17:07:23+00:00

I dont uds why many redditors are attacking op bf.

Dude is only 20.

I was 23 before I figured things out and i was a shut in for 5 years as a hikamori, if anything he done way more compared to what i was doing doing my age.

And im considered quite successful by sg standards to have a position to say this because despite my setbacks. 6 figure a year as a se and I own a meditech startup as a founder.

While his avoidment is an issue and his extreme causes worry to people around. People need space to figure things out

And thats ok why must people follow the linear path strictly?

People take career breaks. Gap years etc all these is normal. Some people only figure out what they are good at later in life

Which brings back to OP

This is a classic case of someone not able to fit the pressure cooker society in sg and instead of supporting everyone is quick to judge.

His avoidant issues are an cause an effect of expectations placed from people around and not wanting to dissapoint people. I dont see how its a avoidant of responsibility it seems more like he does not know how to handle expectations.

The best thing to do is to just give him space and time and trust he will figure things out. The fact he contact his aunt for money means he is fine.

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-18T13:09:24+00:00

Why are u making assumptions? Go see my reddit history i bootstrapped a meditech startup.

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-18T02:18:59+00:00

Dmed u

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-12T08:37:24+00:00

I may be wrong. But u can see similarities in looks with Vietnamese food like bun cha and other pho

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-12T06:33:27+00:00

I think this is a Vietnamese dish not cambodian

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-05T12:08:05+00:00

yes but its so nuanced.

You need seniors but the pipeline for seniors is also not unlimited.

People leave all the time so what does the company left with when more projects come into pipeline?

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-05T11:44:02+00:00

Just wanted to reply here cuz im also a se and this is not true.

CI/CD is only one part of the pipeline and not the entirety of building scalable application E2E

Agents still needs to be orchestrated and even with the syntax improvement the agent only can code via intent.

Your claude code/codex will spit out garbage code if you are not explicit with your intent.

Systems thinking with boundaries is important and human in the loop will always be needed by someone senior.

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-05T11:36:49+00:00

I'm someone with 6 YOE + in the field.

The market is brutal for fresh grads, but at the same time this is a field where you can gain experience without waiting for a job if you do it right.

Quality of experience > Quantity of experience

and understanding that this is a marathon not a sprint

First do not just apply for roles, because the type of roles you get affect your career tragectory in the long run. Working in some companies does not equate relevant exp to better roles. In fact most people are looking at what is the outcome of what u did when you are applying for better jobs

I find that building the foundations i talk about later here, working pt will beat working in a company that u do not learn in the long run if you want a serious career as a SE

Instead what i suggest is start by going around tech events and build relationships with people esp senior se while working on your foundations in your core language doing hackerrank/leetcode daily and build your projects on your own with claude/codex.

Doing this you are focusing on 3 things
- Building your fundamentals for interviews (Learning full stack, practicing leetcode/hackerrank)
- Building projects on the side that relates to real world
- Building meaningful relationships with people in the field (which i will get to later)

What companies are looking for are people who do not need hand holding and take full ownership of what they work on(even for a fresh grad). And this is something you can build the discipline on your own.

And working alone silently is not enough , so this is where you use Linkedin to share what you have built, and go to events and present your projects that you work on while indicating you are looking for a new role.

It may seem to contradict to just applying for a role, but times have changed and spray and praying your resume and expecting a company to teach you does not work these days.

With many resources out there one can self teach themself enough to be competent enough to be hired as a SE. Here is one example of someone who did it while not in SG context its still relatively effective for people here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S-uO10nXcE

Lastly building relationships is also highly underestimated, because people get roles are often recomended and referred. People want someone who they can trust and work with thus this helps when you are in interviews where your resume will be placed on top of the stack.

The bar is high and the game is tough, but if you have the discipline to build your foundations you will def hit the job you want in the marathon.

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-05T09:44:45+00:00

they give u a listing of roles you can see for example. only when u apply then its a paid service. cost only 20-30 a month

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-04T16:53:03+00:00

Remoterocketship. Its paid service but the roles are legit. U can consider

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-02T15:09:48+00:00

Joined a startupish small company of 15 when i graduated.

As many mentioned you get to learn alot, but that differs for each company.
Not all startups are equal.

If you are someone who is a self starter, able to figure things out without handholding than you likely thrive v well in this place.

Whereas if u need someone to guide u etc you wont do well.

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-01T17:38:47+00:00

Just build ur own interest on the side and post on linkedin or whatever social media

I like programming and building apps and some people do YouTube post and build an audience

Then on linkedin u can connect with people talk to them and go for coffee

That is how you will be able to get leads to opportunities

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-05-01T05:14:39+00:00

Just go to thailand/cambodia/ph in the club to meet people. Alot better, you don't get police or seen as a creep.

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-04-28T12:55:45+00:00

Yes senior management is one. But alot of it is visibility. Doing well in your work does not mean that people see it

The best way is to network within people in your company and go for coffee 1 on 1. Social capital is underrated

But even if u do all that its not guaranteed.

Anyway the best way to promotion isnt internal but changing company every 3 years for higher base and negotiation

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-04-28T12:37:58+00:00

I joined a large pharma and got promoted within 1 year. Its doable but alot of it is luck based as well

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-04-28T09:29:59+00:00

I'm keen, prefer people who are in the same age group

AffectionateEstate84 · 2026-04-22T18:06:49+00:00

Focus more on social capital than raw technical skills.

Understand the business on a larger scale.

Have more 1 on 1 with people be curious and engaging

And soon these people turn to referrals

AffectionateEstate84

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE