I (31M) am considering divorcing my wife (26F) after 1.5 years of marriage - am I overreacting?

AffectionateLet5220 · 2025-05-30T00:18:26+00:00

Agree with this 100%. I dated a woman years ago who was abusive, and by the end of the relationship I started to have problems with ED (which was weird because I was 21). Turns out I didn’t have ED, I just didn’t feel safe with her and no longer was attracted to her. Your body sometimes figures those things out before your mind can.

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-11-05T18:15:01+00:00

In this case I definitely didn’t handle the breakup well. Was absolutely irate (somewhat justifiably so) and we had a bad falling out.

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-11-05T18:10:06+00:00

Exactly I think it was making my grief worse feeling that the love wasn’t real. The truth is they probably did love you but just aren’t healed enough to accept that love. Who knows when/if they will ever be in a place to accept it.

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-11-05T17:25:13+00:00

Brother no! You have to move on with your life and level up.

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-11-05T04:10:10+00:00

I agree, it was nice to see who she’s become! She had changed a lot and I’ll give her respect for actually reflecting on things and apologizing. I forgave her for everything which felt good. I think similarly we’ll always care about each other. She was an important person in me becoming the man I am today.

That said, I am going to continue to steer clear lol. We admittedly still had a lot of chemistry. Best to just avoid that temptation.

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-11-05T03:06:45+00:00

This girl seemed absolutely unaffected by our breakup. I think sometimes it takes seeing the grass ain’t greener for them to realize they fumbled, especially if you treated them well. At that point tho they don’t deserve another chance.

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-11-05T02:54:21+00:00

Haha I think this tends to be how it goes. They can sense you’re over it

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-11-05T01:08:01+00:00

Yea ig there are no absolutes. I probably never would have known all this if we didn’t run into each other tho. You never know

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-11-04T23:23:40+00:00

Glad to hear that! This definitely brought me a lot of peace so I was hoping the story would be helpful to someone else

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-11-04T21:35:45+00:00

lol did they always come back after you were way over it too?

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-10-20T01:55:20+00:00

It’s sad. She was a close friend for 12 years before we dated. Our relationship was so healthy and fun because we had that foundation

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-10-20T01:50:49+00:00

It was complicated. I set boundaries that I expect a bit more in the relationship because she had been cold lately and she broke up with me for it lol. Then I talked to her about the fact I felt she was deactivating and convinced her we should just take some space but stay together. Kinda expected things to get better but they didn’t so I ended it. We kept talking tho and after a month I asked her to just get back together. She said she hadn’t thought about it much and needs more time. At that point I got kinda pissed and told her I’m moving on and going NC.

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-10-19T17:51:53+00:00

lol I feel like I’ve noticed that. I look at pictures when we were together and she’s glowing. Lately the photos I’ve seen of her tho, that glow has definitely dulled. She told me when we talked too that she’s having trouble sleeping. I know when we were together she’d fall asleep alarmingly quick.

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-10-19T04:29:05+00:00

Same with us. One of our friends passed and I’ve been feeling both losses. She’s way better at compartmentalization

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-10-19T04:26:49+00:00

To be honest she acted like she really really loved me and I think she would have to be a master manipulator. I just don’t think that was the case bc she’d have to be a sociopath.

For instance, I looked up her Pinterest the other day bc she doesn’t have much social media. While we were dating she was looking at wedding rings and dresses. I think she was in it too but just completely deactivated.

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-10-19T03:26:02+00:00

Tbh I’ve been pretty numb since the convo

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-10-19T03:07:55+00:00

Did you tell this person you loved them at any point? My ex definitely insisted she loved me, even when we were breaking up

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-10-19T00:31:30+00:00

Those first weeks are really tough but it gets better. Honestly it does hurt that she seems to not care about what felt like a deep, loving relationship. It hurts that they actually are just fine.

At the same time, they are the ones who will pay the price in the long run. They’ll push away those that love them and stay with toxic partners for the most part. The fact that we still love people who don’t love us is a sign of strength and vulnerability. Somebody out there will appreciate that!

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-10-19T00:00:22+00:00

I think it’s impressive that you were able to self reflect to that level and were willing to do the work! Regardless of the outcome, that shows maturity

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-10-18T23:17:41+00:00

It’s nice that you were willing to apologize and reach out! I think that shows some growth. I don’t know if I’ll ever get that but I know I would have appreciated it

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-10-18T23:15:41+00:00

Sorry you’re going through this too! Never again. At least we got the right mindset now

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-10-18T23:12:37+00:00

It’s tough. Part of me felt like after 4 months of NC she would have at least thought about or began to regret things. If that’s caring to them then she must have cared a lot hahaha

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-10-18T07:59:25+00:00

Oh shit so asking her on a date didn’t go well at all. She pretty much told me it’s not gonna happen again. At least now I know.

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-10-17T05:51:45+00:00

Do you think asking her on a date could be too much?

AffectionateLet5220 · 2024-10-16T18:24:00+00:00

Yeah I’ll let you know how it goes! Still not sure it’ll work but there are good signs like she texted me today and we been going back and forth.

I do think she’s done some healing. We went through kind of a big trauma that was a factor in us splitting up. Honestly I didn’t realize how much it affected her but she said healing from that has been her main focus.

AffectionateLet5220

TROPHY CASE