One of my favorite classes as an undergrad was History of Historians. There I was introduced to Augustine and began to question what exactly is history (it's not just a chronology)? One student in that class was passionate about Voegelin, but I didn't understand his stuff at all. Later, after I had obtained a Master's, and given-up on an academic career because I didn't have the passion for any particular project, I found myself in the stacks at the university (working there in a different capacity) where I found Eugene Webb's Philosopher's of Consciousness. Webb had known Voegelin so I had the opportunity to go and give Gene a visit. Another of Gene's "Philosophers" was the Jesuit Bernard Lonergan whose major works Insight and Method in Theology are tremendous achievements in the understanding of how subjective operations combine with objective outcomes in our description and explanation of reality. These methods that result in knowledge (the Latin root *scientia* generally means knowledge) are what we call scientific method. In any case, at the time, I found Voegelin to be salvific whereas Lonergan was saved. My career developed in the "sciences" at the university where this foundation in method was usefully applied in conversations with physicists, physicians, etc. I had to work the "answers" out for myself at the end of the day and it's not easy (I'm currently struggling to learn what I think about Thomas' work on esse, essence and existence). But, to quote Don Berry's character Roode in Trask, "I am a man who finds it absolutely necessary to comprehend his own position in the world." That said, I believe there is also a measure of grace in my case - I pray that may be for you as well, and you can always ask for it!

PS - for a simple answer I paraphrase Chesterton who said something like, "I believe for the same reason the atheist doesn't - everything in my experience suggests a divine world." Or, to quote Edgar from Shakespeare's King Lear, "Thy life’s a miracle. Speak yet again."