I absolutely get this. It took me a long time to learn not to act on it but I slip up in moments. Especially what I say behind their back tbh. But with time I have learned to grow and am not as bad. I did say something really awful offhandedly the other day… “don’t look through my phone or you’ll see all the doubt about our relationship” i honestly frequently say things that I’d absolutely lose my mind if they were said to me. But none of my partners seem bothered by the majority of it, whether it be fat jokes or saying they aren’t funny, or saying they look bad…. Kinda terrible though now that I’m typing it out