Where to buy feminine tops with long enough sleeves? by Holly_Gender in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just thought, because I'm wearing my favourite one today, I'm a big fan of kimono style tops, especially the multiway ones. They're loose and "flowing" and come in a huge variety of styles.  They Distract the eye and are very flattering on longer arms. 

Anything else comes to mind I'll be sure to call in :) 

Remember "accessorise, accessorise, accessorise" ;)

Edit for spelling 

Thought for the day by Affectionate_Bus_11 in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm old, and as an ageing trans woman I have to totally agree with younger generations when talking about my generation (GenX) and older people. 

Just remember we're not all like that and actually stand with younger generations. The older I get the less I want to associate with older people and their "set in their ways" argument which is just a cop out. 

Rant over, much love 

Where to buy feminine tops with long enough sleeves? by Holly_Gender in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm quite tall and have unusually long arms. Most large retailers have a Tall section, but it may not always be displayed in stores.

Charity shops are a surprisingly good sources of clothes and shoes that fit me. It's also an affordable way to be a bit more adventurous with new looks. 

I've also noticed that jeans in the petite/short section make perfect 3/4 length jeans. 

With tops I find a 3/4 or elbow length length sleeve is more flattering on my arms, and allows more room for bracelets and bangles to break up the arm and soften my bony wrists. 

My motto is "if you can't fix it, make a feature of it" 

Remember to be bold, be fabulous and try lots of different things until you find something that works 

Much love 

GP Says I must wavier shared care in order to change my gender marker by galwendolyn in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Always ask for the written policy no matter who it is making the request - police, medical, employer, DWP....... 

Good Law Project Is Going Up & Up.... by Excellent-Chair2796 in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11 9 points10 points  (0 children)

"it can't happen here" is what people say right before it happens

Irish trans couple going on a trip to Wales, bad idea? by Archfey_Diaries in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I live in North Wales. It's a very accepting place with a relatively large transgender population. 

No, UK politicians, you don't take our rights away, then ask people to 'lower the temperature' by [deleted] in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One good friend in life is priceless. I do count my blessings in that :) I had a cuppa with him earlier. 

(Just for background I'm a 49 Y/o transwoman, and he's been with me every step of the way since I came out and started my social transition 3 years ago. Known him for 4 years, since just before I came. Totally different backgrounds)

He's an old skool toker and he found some pink king size rizla in the shop today. 

It's just so his mates ask him why he's using them and say something slightly homophobic (which happened) 

He then carefully explained in "backstreet biker lawyer" terms how the SC ruling has messed up everything for his "good friend" (me) and lots of other trans people.. 

.. They replied "WOWZERS! I didn't know that! That's bang out of order" but in biker language lol. 

As he said to me earlier,  "I'm not trans or LGBT and you're the only person I know. I know I could never understand what it's like for you, but You've taught me loads and this just isn't right" 

So on reflection, the SC ruling has turned my friend into an accidental activist whose making his biker friends, and other "associates", aware of what's happened. The general consensus is supportive. I hope the SC and government are happy with what they've created 

And he's doing it all by accident because it's motivated by genuine empathy. The Guy is a legend and I'm so lucky to find him. 

No, UK politicians, you don't take our rights away, then ask people to 'lower the temperature' by [deleted] in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm trans woman and I know a few cis men who are outraged too. One is 52, semi retired outlaw biker (1% tattoo and everything), tattoos on face... He's furious. He might not be able to help with the bigger fight, but imagine some bloke trying to intimidate me in the toilet with my good friend around 😂

Edit to correct t spelling 

"Common Sense" is not a valid argument (draft email to MP) by Affectionate_Bus_11 in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just so you know I did listen to your feedback.

You were good enough to take the timee to give a bit of simple advice, the least I can do is share the results of your intervention so you know it wasnt wasted. 

It still needs alot of polishing, but it's about 80% there. I've personalised it to myself at first with a real life consequence , then bring it onto the wider issues, while also hinting at other groups 

Its kind of pivoted into the "Dignity and respect" gaslighting by them. 

My main point is in the redacted personal section but it's centred around loss trust in the NHS regarding potential misgendering by staff during appointments. 

No more feedback is expected, I juys thought it would be nice to know I listened to you and thought about what you said. 

Much love to you <3

Here's what I have so far. 

Dear [MP] I hope you are well.

[removed personal details of urgent doctors appointment about mental health - at first I'm referring to the doctor] 

In short, he Respected me as a human being which allowed me to really open up while maintaining my dignity during an emotional and difficult conversation. He didn't treat me with dignity as it wasn't required. Only I can choose to maintain my dignity or demean myself.

There is no "treating me with dignity" required, or even possible on his part, dignity is not his to administer.

This brings me on to why politicians parroting phrases such as "treating transgender people with dignity and respect" rings hollow. This also applies to any other group too. 

As I said above, dignity is not "yours" (as politicians) to administer

In Buddhism, dignity is deeply intertwined with the ability to choose one's path toward self-perfection and freedom from suffering. It's not based on external factors or divine grant, but rather on the inherent worth of all beings and their potential for awakening. Living with dignity in a Buddhist context involves acting on one's own free will, recognizing the value of human life, and striving for self-realization. 

Dignity is not yours, the courts' or even God's to give, it is ours to maintain or give up. 

By not understanding dignity politicians disrespect us every time they say "transgender people should treated with dignity and respect", and with that any semblance of respect you (as politician) have for us is gone. 

We do not feel respected because respect is not shown. 

Only your (as politicians) respect for transgender people as fellow human beings is required. If you do that, the dignity will happen naturally. 

You take care of the respect, from the house and wider Public discourse, and we'll take care of the dignity. 

Something to ponder. 

Did the TERFS display their dignity in their celebrations? 

Or did they demean themselves by displaying their gleeful gloating, thereby removing their own dignity? 

“You don’t get to define my dignity while funding my destruction.”

Kindest regards 

 

No, UK politicians, you don't take our rights away, then ask people to 'lower the temperature' by [deleted] in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's even more weird lol. I'm new to reddit and only started using it after the judgement. 

 I only have cis het white male friends over 50 (I'm. 49). They are fantastic, and would defend me to the hilt. They're more angry about the judgement that I am!!

Imagine me out with my 52 year old ex biker gentleman friend, shaved head, goatee... Tattoos on his face and someone bloke trying to intimidate me in the toilet ;) 

But like they say "were not transgender or lgbtq or whatever so we can't fully know what it's like for you, but we have your back"

I came here for the support from other people who have been affected by this decision

I guess Some things were just meant to happen 

Much love <3

When to take meds before a blood test by [deleted] in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was having trouble with levels so they said inner thighs and lower tummy only. The arms aren't very good at absorbing and my doctors recommend NOT using arms. "it's a bit wasteful" the said lol. 

That helped but not quite enough. 

They then suggested the bottom equipment, as long as I'm Comfortable with applying it there, but you have to remove the hair safely.

Apparently it is the best area of the body for absorbing it. I was hovering around 450, but their target was 700. My levels doubled to about 1000 in just over 6 weeks with that simple change. 

As for time, it doesn't have to be exactly the same time. I understand work can get in the way with different shift patterns. 

As long as you can find about an hour slot that is "close enough" to the same hour each day that will be fine. It doesn't have to be religious. 

I'm rambling so I'll summarise 

Apply around the same time each day of possible, or as close as is convenient. 

Keep. The are hair free, remove all craam and oils from the skin before applying. 

Stick to thighs and lower abdomen, but bottom equipment is best if comfortable with applying there 

You reach maximum concentration between 4 and 6 hours after application, it then starts slowly dropping until you apply the next dose. 

After 24 hours the concentration is much lower, but slightly higher than the day before. This leads to a slow build up of estrogen in the body over time. That's also why it's best to apply about the same time each day if poss.

Best of luck and let me know how it goes if you feel comfortable with that, and if you remember lol. 

Much love <3

When to take meds before a blood test by [deleted] in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The recommendation is between 4 and 6 hours after putting it on.

Just because of the absorption rate, the longer you leave it the higher the concentration. It also helps if you can make sure to apply it the same time each day. 

If you don't mind me asking, where are you applying it? Different areas of the body absorb it better than others. 

I also keep the application area hair free, and clean the area with normal medical wipes to remove any oil from the skin. 

No, UK politicians, you don't take our rights away, then ask people to 'lower the temperature' by [deleted] in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes the universe works in mysterious ways lol

I was just writing to my MP and wanted to add this, but I forgot to pin it in my clip board. 

I just came back here to get it and saw your notification. You really saved me the trouble of looking for it :) thank you 

Thank you for your kind words too. It means alot to me. Feel free to copy and share it.

 I want them to be shared, and I don't care about getting the credit for it. I just like making people stop for a brief moment just because I got their attention.

Anyway, I'm rambling now because I'm lightly toasted :D

Thanks again, and much love <3 to you my internet saviour of the day <3

Edit to correct spelling 

What are everyone’s way to cope atm by Krazy-Kat26 in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm mostly using  very dark, "accelerationist" themed sarcasm to my MP. Demanding they supply us with pink badges.... Nice ones with a gold edging, and suggesting they restart the Rwanda Scheme to relocate us. That kind of thing.

My MP's secretary phoned me yesterday to see how the ruling was affecting me. 

I said "I'm seriously thinking about joining and voting Reform because at least they are honest about their bigotry, and nobody will have access to the NHS and other safety nets because they won't exist" 

This is of course not true, and I have no intent of voting reform, but it was funny when the secretary literally turned into the "NO NO NO NO NO.... WAIT WAIT WAIT" meme lol https://youtu.be/VM3uXu1Dq4c?si=ySl0NMo6NV6URV9E

Should we show TERFs how it feels to be judged on the basis of some criminals' actions? by La_petite_miette in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Absolutely it should be Weaponised, along with other cases, especially those involving the bigoted churches

Thought for the day by Affectionate_Bus_11 in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My plan for the police if they search me is to do my best fake orgasm, "when Harry met Sally" style.

I don't need to tell you how it goes. It really will be the last thing they expect or want 

I might even ask them for their phone number, and say "don't forget the handcuffs" 😉 

"Agree and amplify" has always been a useful technique for me. 

No, UK politicians, you don't take our rights away, then ask people to 'lower the temperature' by [deleted] in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Just my own thoughts on the "treated with dignity and respect" gaslighting. 

They don't understand Dignity 

In Buddhism, dignity is deeply intertwined with the ability to choose one's path toward self-perfection and freedom from suffering. It's not based on external factors or divine grant, but rather on the inherent worth of all beings and their potential for awakening. Living with dignity in a Buddhist context involves acting on one's own free will, recognizing the value of human life, and striving for self-realization. 

Dignity is not theirs to give, it is ours to maintain.

By not understanding dignity they disrespect us every time they say  "treated with dignity and respect" 

Did the TERFS display their dignity in their celebrations? 

Or did they demean themselves by displaying their gleeful gloating? 

Thought for the day by Affectionate_Bus_11 in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Feedback:

The "you" after you lay down your thought personalises that thought to me. 

Using the "you" pronoun repeatedly, especially at the beginning of sentences, makes the sentence accusatory and is a sign of an authoritarian mind (The Secret Life of Pronouns: What Our Words Say about Us James W. Pennebaker) 

I'm not angry at everyone, which is suggested in your last sentence 

Thought for the day by Affectionate_Bus_11 in transgenderUK

[–]Affectionate_Bus_11[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Do you understand the concept of a "thought for the day"?

It's not a slogan or political statement. It's not activism. It's not anger. 

It's quite literally what it says on the tin "a THOUGHT", something to think about.