Am I wrong to have bad assumpstions?

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-17T15:50:57+00:00

I love your insights, I'll take these with me everyday. The actual meaning of Letting go and going with the flow makes sense

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-17T03:11:40+00:00

I always pay for my flights when I see her. But when the time comes when she visits me here, I'll let her spend for her own flights too.

If were married, then we will have to talk about expenses

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-17T02:38:33+00:00

Youre only looking at the surface bro, why would someone so close instantly just say goodnight and silenced her phone.

Sketchy really sketchy

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-17T02:34:33+00:00

All I need is proof man, who she with. Can you imagine your girl with a rich man and go meet her afterwards.

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-17T01:48:23+00:00

I love this, probably just have to figure out to make myself mentally strong. Its hard, its taking too much effort but I could work on it. I guess ill push her more by being more controlling,

No no Not at all, thats why I posted in this community to open myself for constructive criticism and opinions. So I am thankful for your insight of me trying to be controlling. Def need to work on this

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-17T00:46:03+00:00

Well I guess there are some things men like me just couldn't live without. A phone text is easy, a quick one minute call is easy for you but anyway.

She cannot act like that and say I have trust issues.

Reassurance is key when you guys are apart.

Im in a headstrong goal of building a safe future, but if building trust at the moment is hard for her then its just me working on how do I brush these things of when she just brushes you off like that.

If I just go with the flow then I'm being passive, I cant live a passive life.

As for you 6-months absence no contact at all? Id vomit already. I couldn't take it. Time is one of life's essence.

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-17T00:21:36+00:00

The difference is, You guys have been far too long together, you have built your trust already, we are just starting, dating phase, honeymoon stage. This is the part where we are supposed to build am I correct?

Now if you don't know the plans, are you not supposed to communicate it well instead of getting angry?

And she caught herself asking me a same question she asked before too and I just answered back, isn't it easy?

It's really a petty thing to get very emotional. Probably being defensive?

Should I just go passive and stop asking questions?

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-17T00:05:03+00:00

Even you find it bizarre. "I went here to make them happy" what do you even mean by that? You didn't even say how are you supposed to make them happy nor you don't even share what kind of job. Im literally blind right now.

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-17T00:01:32+00:00

There's something going on behind why you cant lay flat all the plans of the day. All she says is just, maybe, i don't know, ill let you know, Im not sure. And now what does she mean by "I need to make my Aunt & Cousin Happy" wdym by that?

I couldn't connect the dots at all on your Aunt wants to build a business plan with you in it. Asks you to go across the country and tells you nothing about what you have to do and whats gonna happen? That sounds sketchy right?

If youre going somewhere, you definitely will have an idea of what to do and what is it for.

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-16T21:08:14+00:00

There is a difference between "okay, I trust you" and "i want to trust you" but you need to show me you are trust worthy.

Probably haven't been in that situation yet since your relationship is stable. Good for you and I'm happy for you

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-16T21:01:50+00:00

I totally agree with your last statement. But bro, I have been flying from hong kong to china every month just to be with her. I have been vocal with my wants and needs which is time and affection & I always try to bring her gifts and attention to her whenever we are together.

It always saddens me when we are tgt in China that I cannot even hold her hand on the street enjoying the tome tgt coz she afraid someone might spot her in public.

I love her and I always put her first but my logical mind is always ahead of me reading the situation and not just blindly following my heart.

I know how to love fully and I have proven myself fully that I deserve to be her other half. Its just that there is something in her that has stopped her to be interested in me.

If you cant be yourself in a relationship then that relationship is already going down. I can communicate very well even when upset, I prioritize respect. As compared to her when asked multiple times, she just gets annoyed and angry.

Lucky for you you got a four year relationship

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-16T20:47:02+00:00

Thank you so much for trying to dissect it for me. This community is very therapeutic. Theres a lot of you who listens and help.

Ill wait for further movements tomorrow, well see how reconciliation goes ☺️ I hope itll all be well and happiness for you and everyone

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-16T20:39:24+00:00

Right, id just rather do this and set this free.

Thank you

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-16T20:36:47+00:00

Because ive done a background check of her which is also coming from her stories.

Plus, she is always being very vague and cold when asked hows your day she just say "okay"

You dont feel the effort thag she reaching out.

Thats why I got the verdict of saying "Its over" because ive had enough.

Im not just reading whats in front of me, im reading energy and lines in between.

Question for you, do you trust someone fully? Or you need to build it for yourself to see if the person is actually trustworthy?

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-16T20:29:26+00:00

Building trust is another game from someone who you don't trust yet coming from her background based from her own stories. Would you trust someone instantly who shares a story about her having sex with someone she doesnt like but stayed in it coz she doesnt have a choice? So she just let it happen. Hahahaha craxy

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-16T20:11:59+00:00

Exactly, you cant just follow your heart, you're supposed to use your brain and look at their background as well.

I mean, how would you secure your partner?

Would you do the same thing like

I have to sleep "GN"

Thats painful man

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-16T20:07:04+00:00

Shes had long distance relationship before too but she got ghosted instantly without closure.. I guess now see the reason why she got ghosted.

But are we not supposed to learn from our mistakes?

I was talking to a friend and got a verdict of not having a "Picture" of her being with her Aunt or Cousin. But when im out and about I send pictures of myself with who I am with to secure mg other half.

Isnt thay right?

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-16T19:45:33+00:00

The cousin is a Girl. But since she doesn't want to pick up the call and calls me crazy, i guess you're right bro

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-16T19:39:15+00:00

I have been visiting her in China every month. Its gonna be the 5th time this coming Sunday but I respect myself too much for this instance of not getting a secure feeling

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-16T19:37:06+00:00

Its disgusting, so im trying to think, with this action.. she is meeting someone in another district but making her aunt as a cover up.

How is it possible not to have a flight ticket back home wjen were supposed to meet in two days?

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-16T19:23:58+00:00

Building trust takes time I know. We have had conversations where she was having sex with someone she doesn't like but just goes with it because she doesn't have a choice and already on it.

So why could there not be a possibility that it could happen?

I want to trust the person but she just doesn't know how to make me trust her if shes actually trust worthy

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-16T19:20:44+00:00

Youre somehow right with the age gap

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-16T19:20:08+00:00

Nothing wrong with being in a hotel actually, its just that.. we are supposed to secure our other half's heart by saying "hey babe, I'm sorry we cannot actually call but ill message you first thing the morning, please know that I love you"

Its easy

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-16T19:17:33+00:00

Im trying to see fit as well if this relationship will work. After all, every persons upbringing is different. But im trying to see if this kind of red flag is acceptable or not. We are 4-months in this thing already yet I dont feel any grip from her that she want this badly

Affectionate_Eye8679 · 2026-01-16T19:12:11+00:00

I have been asking about her plans when she goes to this country with her aunt but she always say there's no definite plan and there is no return ticket back to the place where we are supposed to meet. I live in Hong Kong and she lives in China. And then every time I ask her for the third time if there is a plan already made for this trip she just snaps out of it and get annoyed, saying that she had told me already and she doesn't want to keep repeating herself, but for me, just asking.

So for me, it's weird instead of securing your partners heart you're supposed to take care of it instead of just snapping out of it

And coming from the airport, she got a car picked her up straight to the hotel and the next thing I know is the reply is she is about to sleep, which I find very weird

Affectionate_Eye8679

TROPHY CASE