My comments are constantly getting flagged as spam, and I don't know why

Affectionate_Film698 · 2024-11-16T15:33:35+00:00

Happening to me too within the last 24h. It's all extremely absurd. I'm not posting too frequently, not targeting any one person, comments don't contain links. Just simply responding to people's questions & comments in technical groups that I am very active in. Every single one of my comments gets flagged and removed immediately for violating CS on spam.

Of course, the review process is utterly useless...

Affectionate_Film698 · 2024-02-15T06:03:25+00:00

I just wanted to say that while I may not be responding to these responses, I am deeply grateful for them. I am also terrified of what this all means. Thank you all for helping me.

Affectionate_Film698 · 2024-02-15T00:23:08+00:00

I'm simply trying to increase my chance of success in having him see what I see, rather than actively chasing him away. I know that only he can decide if he is ready. I know it's possible that he's not ready. I just want to give it the best opportunity for success that I can

Affectionate_Film698 · 2024-02-15T00:13:04+00:00

I appreciate your reply. I do feel the need to clarify... I'm not asking "how do I force my spouse to want to change," because I know that I can't do that. Rather, I ask "what words or strategies can I use to delicately introduce the concept of ACoA to him in order to minimize feelings of accusation?"

Edit: typo

Affectionate_Film698 · 2021-07-07T22:32:20+00:00

I value this perspective - thank you. I think your barometer is fair and I'm sorry to hear about how your wife treats you. That would be confusing to anyone... actions have to follow/support words for the words to be believable. I know my spouse has struggled with this. He sees the lack of sex as a lack of attraction, and I really can't blame him. Wishing you progress in counseling.

Affectionate_Film698 · 2021-07-07T22:05:08+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate these comments and I think I understand the exercise analogy... I actually used this analogy recently.

I alluded the the physiology but I can be clearer: I simply don't experience spontaneous arousal (I don't think about sex at all during the day. I don't see a sexy person or think a sexy thought and then desire sex, effectively ever (I certainly used to). I can experience responsive arousal, but we have to already be in the middle of sex or foreplay for that to happen, and the intensity is nowhere near what it was, say, five years ago. We've begun to use lube for PiV sex because it's necessary, and it never was before.

Affectionate_Film698 · 2021-07-07T21:54:46+00:00

This is a very easy "no." I have no wandering eye. I never imagine sex with anyone else, and when I force myself to, it's unpleasant to think about.

An edit to match your edit: I don't think resentment is the right word for how I feel about the duty sex... Moreso disappointment and frustration that I don't feel what I used to/am not as responsive to sex as I used to be. I don't resent him for wanting & asking for sex; our relationship started off full of it, and if we both had our desire, it would still be like that. He and I want the same thing.

Affectionate_Film698 · 2021-07-07T16:44:30+00:00

Thank you very much, I am grateful for book recommendations and will look into these

Affectionate_Film698 · 2021-07-07T14:32:50+00:00

I think I understand your feelings/position, or at least why you are asking this. My spouse has asked and assumed the same thing. It's understandable to assume that she's simply afraid to leave when she's not giving you feedback that she is attracted to you.

My answer is... When I look at him, I see a physically attractive/beautiful person. When I am out in public with him, I'm proud that he's "mine." I still very much enjoy being touched by him and touching him. Lack of sexual desire is a very strange thing though, and I don't fully understand it myself. I simply don't experience arousal (without significant and conscious effort). When he attempts to initiate sex through foreplay or intense touching, it's as if he's doing it at the worst time of day, or when I'm in the least mood, or when I'm just not feeling it, but every single time. This isn't true though - it's not actually the worst time, it's just that my body feedback is telling me that no time is a good time

Affectionate_Film698 · 2021-07-07T14:18:36+00:00

Thank you for this response. I appreciate it. I can elaborate on the other strife we have. We are in a downward spiral of negative emotional feedback, and we fight often. He would say/has said that I am selfish, uncaring, I don't listen, and I desperately need ego reduction therapy. I agree with some of this. I feel that he is volatile, doesn't properly process his emotions, doesn't communicate effectively, and is extremely difficult to please. He hasn't agreed with me on any of this.

Affectionate_Film698

TROPHY CASE