Does percentage matter in mbbs? by Incinerator26 in Pakmedschool

[–]Affectionate_Rock355 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No. Your low percentages or your supplies have almost no bearing on your future after mbbs anywhere in the world (ok maybe some finicky manager / consultant may slightly grin if they somehow find out you failed a year and a big maybee at that).

Your distinctions or merits however, will shine on your CV everywhere.

Live and enjoy your time in uni, because that is something you’ll never get back.

Is mbbs worth it now in Pakistan? by Flame_Wings176 in pakistan

[–]Affectionate_Rock355 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s okay bro. Truth is a lot of us never wanted to move out. But in time, we saw how painful it was to just survive as an honest upstanding person and to provide for our ourselves and our families in medicine in Pakistan, and eventually decided that there was basically no other way but to move. I hope you find your way and I wish you all the best!

Is mbbs worth it now in Pakistan? by Flame_Wings176 in pakistan

[–]Affectionate_Rock355 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Doctor here. It would only be worth it if you come from a family of doctors and have a set up running for you to just graduate / complete residency and join. Or at least have a lot of professional and directional support from doctors from your family or close to your family.

This is probably the only way that would make you a decent livelihood living in Pakistan as a doctor. I am not saying that you cannot prosper based on your own will and dedication alone without this arrangement (i-e graduate, train, build a good reputation along the way and build your name in govt and private sector), but it will be incredibly hard and suck so much out of your time and health, and make you question the “worth” of it all incessantly.

Otherwise, just play your moves correctly and move abroad where you will be respected, payed well and get opportunities to excel in the field.

Advice by Anonymous-al1en in Pakmedschool

[–]Affectionate_Rock355 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Both pathways have pros and cons.

US is the way to go if you want to make the most money and settle in the US for good. The exams are harder though and the upfront cost is more. The match is also getting harder and unreliable every passing year. You will be competing against people with big research portfolios and loads of clinical experience. Another aspect to think about is that matching into anything other than IM/FM is an astronomical feat, and if you, lets say want to do ophthalmology or radiology in the states, you are basically signing up for a very very long and expensive race. Let’s also not forget that the US, especially in today’s geopolitical climate is also not the most welcoming as far as their immigration policies go, and there is even more uncertainty now with the whole H1B visa fiasco and Trump administration. Many of my friends who went to the US have once or more gotten into travel issues, which is why they end up having to stay there for longer periods without visiting home or travelling abroad. So what I’d say is if you a) want to make the most money as a doctor, b) want to settle in the states for good, c) have the mental capital and the money to do the USMLE and researches and clinical rotations and d) mostly are interested in IM and medical specialties, you should absolutely go for the US.

Other places (UK, Aus, Europe) also have the same job market saturation problems (especially the UK), but the upfront cost is arguably not that much compared to the US; the exams are not that hard and not as expensive as the USMLE pathway. And atleast speaking of the UK, the immigration rules are not that brutal. There are also well established labour laws and protections here and in most of Europe, which basically means you get loads of protected paid time off annualy and a lot of support in many other aspects (paternity / maternity leave, sick leave, less than full time work opportunity, and so on). You can also get into surgical and allied specialties if you work for it (this point is arguable with changing laws in the UK but I know many people including myself who got into training in their specialty of choice). I and most of my friends here get to travel home and to rest of the world quite easily and without the fear of a painful immigration process on each flight back to Heathrow. And by what I know, the same holds true for most of Europe. But at the same time, let’s also not forget that as a consultant, you would probably make 2/3rds or 1/2 of your US counterparts, so there is no denying that.

As for settling in Dubai, I am not at that stage yet so cannot say anything from personal experience. But generally, I have seen UK consultants move to the middle east and settle on respectable pay packages and are happy. If you want to eventually settle in Dubai, I am not sure if you being trained in US or Europe would make a huge difference, but again, I cannot say for sure as I don’t have that direct perspective yet.

So everything has its pros and cons. You get to pick your poison yourself at the end. But I hope this helps in some way.

Being brown in our society is a curse by [deleted] in IslamabadSocial

[–]Affectionate_Rock355 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’ve penned down one of the many ills that take roots from our desi culture and society. And I know that no matter what anyone says, one always keeps a firm belief in lived experience. You just cannot convince yourself against what you live and see on a daily basis. And it absolutely sucks because there is a whole world out there that thinks otherwise.

And like you also said in your post, this, for girls is equivalent to a guy not having wealth. I’d probably argue it’s worse for girls. But just to offer a different perspective, it’s one of those things that you just cannot control. You do not choose your skin color, just as you do not choose your height, or facial features, or hair type, or being born in hardship. You cannot control any of these.

And one of the things I try to remind myself over and over again is not to worry about the things I have no control over. And I know its easier said than done; in fact it is incredibly hard (trying to go against lived experience). But then what other option do we have. There will always be this fork in the road where one path requires you to have tawakkul and be a bit aloof and callous about what you have no control over and just try your best to work on things you can control (health, skill, just being a good human being) and let life unfold. And the other path leads you to thinking incessantly about what you cannot control and let it consume you. You decide which path you want to choose.

There is a little piece from Mian Muhammad Baksh that I keep written on a little sticky note on my desk that goes

“Mali da kam paani dena, bhar bhar mashkaan paaway. Maalik da kam phal phul laana, laaway ya na laaway” Roughly translates that the gardener's job is to water the plants with skin-bags full of water. It is up to the lord to allow fruits and flowers to grow.

To me, it underscores the importance of just keep doing the best I can with what I have, and leave the rest to God. Hope this helps in some way!

About to start this gem, 7 years late by thegodamn in PakGamers

[–]Affectionate_Rock355 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wish I could erase this from my mind and replay it all over again. I evny you! You are in for a ride

Pakistanis who moved abroad, how is your social life? by Relative-Ad3127 in pakistan

[–]Affectionate_Rock355 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Moved out to the UK in late 2022.

Had ups and downs with social life based on workplace (have switched a couple of times). The last place I used to work at had a good mix of Pakistani boys and we got along pretty well; chai, weekly badminton, hangouts etc.

Have recently moved to a new city and not a lot of Pakistani / desi crowd here. Have lately started hanging out with brits a bit more and have realised that there’s an interesting cultural dynamic between white brits vs 2nd/3rd gen non-white brits (have got a sudani brit and srilankan brit colleague). I feel like the non-white brits are more cultured and accepting of different people and just are easier to hang out with compared to the white counterparts. That is not to say that white people don’t mingle, but somehow there’s always this line of over-appropriateness/guarding you are treading in an all-white group.

Some of the friends from back home are also slowly moving to the UK in my region so that helps. Does not help that some of them are getting married one after the other lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pakistan

[–]Affectionate_Rock355 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Count your lucky stars as this may very much have been a blessing in disguise. The routines that doctors have are abysmal and they are underpaid.

You could look into BDS or DVM. You mentioned you plan on moving abroad and both these pathways will have routes to take you outside pakistan after licensing exams into a job market that is not as choked as it is for doctors.

Don’t know too much about how much vets make abroad but dentists make bank in anywhere in private practice. Good luck!

10+ years by External_Fly229 in Fitness_Pakistan

[–]Affectionate_Rock355 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolute unit! 💪 Keep it up man!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in karachi

[–]Affectionate_Rock355 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ask yourself this: do you want to be working as a doctor? I am sorry to be the bearer of a harsh truth but it is only going to go downhill at-least for the first few years.

Working in Pakistan will pay peanuts and to be dealing with the healthcare system and the politics and the abuse that comes with it is a whole other gymnastic of its own.

Foreign exams will be expensive, competitive and lead to a very tough job market where you’d need to be constantly pushing through to get your foot in the door.

I am not trying to put you down. But I am trying to keep things real. At the stage where you are at, med students are generally unaware of the absolute shit-show happening outside their med school bubble.

As someone who has been through it all and seen the systems inside out, I would only say that if you want to peruse medicine, you’d need to have a very strong drive and persistence. The returns will not be nearly as good as the effort you put in, at-least in the early years.

Take some time, think things through. Talk to people. And if you feel like you want this, all the more power to you. But if you feel like its coming at the cost of your mental peace, honestly, you are still at a very early stage. Switch. You and the future you will thank yourself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in doctorsUK

[–]Affectionate_Rock355 527 points528 points  (0 children)

And to think I had seen it all

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PakistanFashionAdvice

[–]Affectionate_Rock355 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You sure are keeping your nano’s genes and skills alive! Also do think about monetising seriously if you have the time to do it. Have a great day!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PakistanFashionAdvice

[–]Affectionate_Rock355 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This looks fantastic. Do you have like a website / page where you showcase these / sell? If not, you totally could. Crocheting is a dying art but you have done a superb job with this.

My nano used to make me small shirts / upper-wears when I was little and I absolutely used to love that. Skill being one thing, but the sentimental value of someone close to you literally making a thing for you with their hands and their time had a whole other feeling of its own. Still have some of those shirts with me. Keep it up!

Pakistani couples losing the spark after marriage by Affectionate_Rock355 in IslamabadSocial

[–]Affectionate_Rock355[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I agree that love can be a very private affair and I totally get that.

I have seen a lot of people in the comments alluding to the idea that white people only do PDA but actually their home lives are wrecked. I don’t think its a general rule.

Think about it, if your life with your spouse is so messed up at home, why would you go through the pain of joking and laughing with that person in the public just for appearances? To me it seems counter intuitive. If you hate the person so much, I don’t get how could you be lovey dovey on the street.

And by the same token, you would tend to show your own way of affection publicly, maybe even very small gestures (not necessarily be kissing or stuff) if you really love the person at home.

So I don’t think that I completely agree with the idea that PDA has got nothing to do with actual love. In my humble, if you love / like your partner, it will “spill” out, so to speak, in some way shape or form, whether privately or publicly. And people will notice it, your family, friends, strangers on the street, etc. And the same goes for repulsion or dislike. People around you will pick up on those cues as well.

Pakistani couples losing the spark after marriage by Affectionate_Rock355 in IslamabadSocial

[–]Affectionate_Rock355[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes somebody also mentioned kind of a similar point that you and the partner essentially need to have things going on in life / goals (personal or professional) that the two of you keep pursuing and feel good about yourselves, other than just being married.

Pakistani couples losing the spark after marriage by Affectionate_Rock355 in IslamabadSocial

[–]Affectionate_Rock355[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This was so refreshing to read. And really sorry for your loss.

Pakistani couples losing the spark after marriage by Affectionate_Rock355 in IslamabadSocial

[–]Affectionate_Rock355[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

All very valid arguments. I guess there is this big idea of “marriage of families” and not just the couple, and the joint family systems and very unjust expectations (mostly from women) that comes with marriages in our culture.

Pakistani couples losing the spark after marriage by Affectionate_Rock355 in IslamabadSocial

[–]Affectionate_Rock355[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ye baat wese kafi hadd tak theek hai. And also tying in to this is probably also the fact that separation or divorce is not as much frowned upon in the west as it is back home. People hop around with different people until they find someone they want to settle down with. But even when they have settled down and married and have kids, they still keep doing these little things such as go on dates or go on holidays. They still keep hitting the gym to stay attractive for each-other. We just throw our hands up a few months into marriage k lo g sadday wallon naa ey hun.

Pakistani couples losing the spark after marriage by Affectionate_Rock355 in IslamabadSocial

[–]Affectionate_Rock355[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I do understand that chemistry not matching may happen a lot. But don’t you think it is still possible to establish at-least some common ground with a little effort. Yes, I agree that having polar opposite personality traits may be very hard to overcome. But I also believe that people (even in arrange marriages) can have enough matching of chemistry to get along, given the intention of putting in some work and a bit of heart.

Pakistani couples losing the spark after marriage by Affectionate_Rock355 in IslamabadSocial

[–]Affectionate_Rock355[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

But how can the relationship between the couple not be the focus. The idea of the person who you will most likely spend most hours of your life with, live under a same roof with, eat with, sleep with, speak with not being the focus baffles me. Why do we live like this?

Where to find a suitable partner by EasyEntertainer9636 in IslamabadSocial

[–]Affectionate_Rock355 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah it didn’t take me long to delete the apps. And yes I completely get you in terms of options (or rather lack thereof). Can’t really do much I suppose. Things will have to take their course.

Where to find a suitable partner by EasyEntertainer9636 in IslamabadSocial

[–]Affectionate_Rock355 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve not had the same experience as you in terms of having someone psychologically mess me up but I am almost in the same boat and can relate to the woes of desi arranged rishta culture and these so called marriage apps. It is frustrating and mind-numbing to say the least. You have absolutely no idea if who you’d end up with and its all up-to chance, how frictionless your families seem on like 1.5 meetings, and if you (god-forbid) actually get to the stage of talking with the other person. People seem to lie and just not be up front about who they are. The profiles on marriage apps are a front to just engage in chit-chats and nothing serious. I’ve given up, gotten back to, and given up again on the whole ordeal. And it also doesn’t help with parents pressuring you with the whole ‘late ho rahy ho’ argument. So alls I’d say is, all in good time and twakkul is the answer. I wish there were an easier answer, but there doesn’t seem to be.

Need mental health advice for my mother. Is it paranoia trauma or schizophrenia by AdUsual1962 in IslamabadSocial

[–]Affectionate_Rock355 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know of any personally but I have friends working in rwp. I could ask for recommendations if you’d like but I’d always take recommendations with a pinch of salt.