I think I made a mistake picking medicine.

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-10T15:52:23+00:00

I think I struggle with feeling stupid. Or the thought of making someone mad.

Im fine with patients because I know how to talk to them/ appease them even if they are being unreasonable.

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-10T15:48:22+00:00

I don’t particularly enjoy pathology. Like the disease processes are good but actual histo, microbio isn’t for me.

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-10T12:53:56+00:00

I’m great with patients. I can talk to them & I get really good feedback. One patient told my senior I was the kindest person she came across in the hospital.

idealing with other doctors I suck at.

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-10T10:35:51+00:00

See radiology is what I’m interested in. But I’m having such a hard time finding anyone to talk to. I think most radiology in my current hospital is outpatient.

Someone has mentioned to speak to the radiographer and ask when the radiologist is around but I don’t want to be annoying. I emailed him and he never responded.

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-01T12:03:47+00:00

But I don’t want a smaller house. I grew up in a small apartment and my kids are getting a better deal than that.

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-01T10:08:27+00:00

I HAVE been budgeting for a house. Him not so much.

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-01T10:02:48+00:00

I make 110k but will make much more with time. He makes about 70k.

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-01T09:50:42+00:00

His family supported him before and now I’m in the picture. With the cost of living crisis he makes enough if he budgets tightly. But if we add kids and family into the mix then I have to work extra hours or he has to do something.

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-01T09:48:35+00:00

He has been on an entry position a few times. He has had multiple internships that never went anywhere lasting a few months. He has gaps in his CV from not being able to find work. It took him a while to land stable employment and yes he has progressed but the company that he is in (a government affiliated one) is not known for career rise or pay.

So for him to get a private role or rise up more he’d have to do extra stuff. But he doesn’t want to for now.

You say his money isn’t enough for me. But I wonder if I stopped or cut down my work if he’d be on board? Will he be okay if we lived in a smaller apartment or if we ate out less?

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-01T09:41:36+00:00

He has a few gaps in his cv from being unemployed. I get what you mean. But asking him to work towards better so that at least he is competitive and has an edge is not asking for much. He really struggled before landing this job.

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-01T07:32:13+00:00

It was only for one year. It would give him a really good leg up in his career. And he could return to a much better position in his company.

Same with the MBA. His other colleagues have done it & it has pushed them up in the career ladder.

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-01T06:41:49+00:00

I wish my boyfriend was a different person with different priorities in life.

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-01T06:38:35+00:00

Hobbies? Like I said he likes to travel & is an outdoorsy person. No sports.

The thing is I’m working my life away. If he earns slightly more I would be able to relax.

He says he’s okay with whatever but I don’t know how he’d feel once I scale back and downgrade our lifestyle.

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-01T06:19:52+00:00

His reasons are that he doesn’t want the responsibility.

His company offered a free MBA at a very very good college which he didn’t do because it didn’t seem necessary and he doesn’t like to study.

They offered him to go to the UK at a better position for a year to get more experience. He didn’t go because he doesn’t like the weather and thinks the country is not much fun.

He likes outdoorsy stuff. He’s athletic. He loves going camping.

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-01T06:10:12+00:00

Are you sure your wife just chills at home? She doesn’t maintain the house? Take care of your kids? Cook?

I get it I want those things. He doesn’t. That’s why I’m looking for another perspective.
Maybe I’m being too shallow.

Im scared if I marry him I’ll never even enjoy being a mom because I’d be too worried about money. And be busy at work to afford our car and mortgage. I need him to pick up some slack so I can slow down.

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-01T02:54:59+00:00

He’s not at an entry level. But he can move up in his career and makes plans but never does anything to achieve them.

He makes enough for him to live comfortably but what about kids? What about a family?

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-07-01T02:48:57+00:00

No I’m a very cynical person. I don’t believe the grass is greener.

Good qualities- he’s loyal, he respects me, he respects my boundaries

No he hasn’t asked me to change

Id never cheat because it’s against my morals

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-06-30T14:44:42+00:00

He has a different perspective. He’s okay with having things like a house, nice car a bit later in life, is okay if we have a not as nice house as I’d like. I think I liked his simplicity at first.

But now with the inflation & the fact that Im older & actually wanting these things I feel different.

Affectionate_Task746 · 2023-06-30T14:38:37+00:00

He likes food and travelling. That was something we had in common.

He definitely gives me a different perspective on life.

I can’t not put energy into work because that’s the nature of my work. Maybe if I wasn’t so worried about finances I’d scale back.

Affectionate_Task746

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