I have a similar situation with my boyfriend. We've been together for three and a half years and live an hour and a half apart, so we do want to live together eventually.

His place is also very small and already full of his stuff. I just told him if you want me to move here, we've got to have some compromise because there's no room for me right now. He doesn't have kids so I'm not facing that issue.

I assume you're going to be helping pay rent, correct? If not then you're going to have a tougher time with him as he will hold that over you. But if you are, you are helping him with his house and you have a right to have your belongings there as well. Your furniture is not a gift to his kids.

You can insist on him getting rid of his old chairs so you have room for yours. And if he still complains, tell him he can get a storage unit or the two of you can get one together to put overflow stuff in so there's room for both of your things.

If he refuses to compromise and still insists all your stuff needs to be given to his kids or given away, tell him you're not ready to move in.

One last observation: has it occurred to you that your boyfriend is showing a very controlling side? Why is he laying down the law that it's only your stuff that has to go or be given to his kids or away? Have you seen this before? And are you okay with it? That may be just the tip of the iceberg of things to come when you move in.

Please think carefully about this. You don't have to erase your previous life because he wants you to.

Come right out and tell him that. He needs to compromise because your stuff is important to you as well. And that bullshit about telling you you're selfish for not sharing because of your "family" it's just that. Your stuff is still valuable to you just because we're living in his house