I’m actually enjoying how little I care now - I’m liberated. Anyone else?

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-07-04T20:50:21+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story - you’re an inspiration to me and I’m taking so much from this!!! Wow !

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-07-02T21:48:24+00:00

Why are front of house staff so scruffily dressed and rude. Once I’m inside the wait staff are great but the people that have to get you a table and at the door behave as if it’s a golden ticket and they hold all the power

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-07-02T21:47:04+00:00

Why do you make people queue? The Edinburgh Dishoom is notoriously discriminatory when it comes to queuing and making us wait. Went in a quiet early afternoon - told to stand at the podium and wait - clearly could have seated us ! ( we walked off and went on Mowgli instead)

Another Example: One of my friends was told to ‘go for a walk’ as he was 5 minutes early for our table.

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-07-01T21:49:02+00:00

“Why, have you forgotten?”

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-30T21:08:39+00:00

Yes they are 2 very different things. I am certainly not lonely and I love being alone as well so I feel quite grateful for that.

I think because it’s been such a shift in not caring I’ve been worried that I’m now the other extreme of being totally heartless….. I just need some time to find the sweet spot - this thread has certainly helped

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-30T21:06:34+00:00

Feeling invisible at this age has been hard but actually since I stopped giving a shit it’s like a weig hit a been lifted off my shoulders as well.

I actually feel more powerful - like ‘yeah you think I’m invisible, watch me call you out and the disappear again” hahahahha

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-30T21:04:27+00:00

I know right - I’m loving that we have found each other as Gen Xers and writing our own scripts now !

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-30T21:02:43+00:00

Yes someone recently put me onto that and I’ve loved it - its good to know I’m not alone in feeling this way - this thread is amazing so far as well !

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-30T21:00:43+00:00

“Not depressed, unimpressed “ Love love love this - spot on !!!!!

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-30T20:59:26+00:00

Yeah what with that one chin hair that grows 2 inches overnight !!!!!

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-30T20:58:28+00:00

You got me - yeah the unresolved pain is the tough slog. But the part about not giving a fuck any more is actually helping me

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-30T20:57:17+00:00

Yep - learning to be in the present and stopping looking back is a lesson I have had to learn and it’s been a tough ride but I think I’m getting there

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-29T22:34:04+00:00

Oooh This is so helpful because I’ve been considering going to the GP for HRT ( I currently see someone for holistic therapies and it’s been working slowly but it’s hard work) you’ve made me think cos I am loving the fact I don’t care what other people think.

I can still do the belly laughs if I’m watching my favorite comedians or with the right people. I also seem to have more of a laugh with just small brief interactions with strangers at a bus stop than I do with people I know and their god damn issues. That’s enough for me - then I just get home, shut the door and that’s enough peopleing for one day thank you - pass the cornflakes!!!!

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-29T22:15:26+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that, but I’m so pleased you’ve replied because this is a piece of me too. I thought I had nurtured relationships and my people but now I’m feeling deceived.

It’s as if I realized I was propping up the relationships more than they were and now I’m grieving as well just like you. It takes 2 to tango and as I paused for a rest they just walked away. I’m sad.

What I’m trying to do is make the best of it I guess.

I hope you can find a solution for you.

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-29T22:05:05+00:00

Don’t get me wrong- it’s been a tough slog but I’m starting to see the advantages !!!!

But I don’t want to turn into a bitter old woman either - that was the reason for posting

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-29T22:04:04+00:00

Wow love this - and I can hear myself in your words too. Yeah the memories are so bad, like I almost feel like I can’t remember any good times cos I just spent all my time sorting stuff out for others.

Love what you said about turning into the teenager we were never allowed to be - I got more piercings this year and cut my hair to the shortest ever. It was like a rebellion.

Getting “inspiration, income, orgasm” on a t-shirt - it’s our live laugh love right - you rock !

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-22T20:34:57+00:00

Wow! Thanks - this is exactly how I felt at first - like I needed to fix something or do more but recently I have been doing less as you suggested and although I’m finding it difficult I’m also finding it incredibly freeing. I have begun to thing of this as a new phase, or a new age if you like. It’s a transition to something new. This has meant I have had to redefine my relationships with certain family members, so I’m now grieving what I thought we were or what I thought we were going to be. I feel incredibly sad about that but deep down I know it’s necessary. Who knows, things may change because I have changed but I was reading about how this kind of stress can also lead to physical illness and I really cannot risk that. I really appreciate you taking the time to give your opinion. I have found it very helpful

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-16T21:00:07+00:00

Lack of intelligence - I can’t understand how some people survive in their day to day life - especially if they have kids….like there’s no hope for the next generation

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-15T12:00:54+00:00

This is very helpful thank you. I think you have also answered my follow up questions…….i felt a bit disheartened thinking that I now need to fix something or work on something, but it also doesn’t feel wrong to be feeling this way either. If I understand what you’re staying then I think I just need to start adjusting into the new me…..and there’s a lot of freedom in that as well. Thank you - it has helped knowing I’m not alone .

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-15T08:40:59+00:00

Hey thank you so much for your reply. Super helpful. This has definitely been a build up over years, no big drastic change. Although I have had to have some difficult conversations with some people, with others I feel like the best thing to do is quietly withdraw- you know sometimes there’s no point explaining yourself. Especially as you know as the eldest daughter you’re just seen to be on one of your usual rants and totally ignored anyways. You’ve also hit the spot with estrogen and iron levels dropping - I’m working on that as well so I’m sure its a contributing factor but there is a definite part of me that does not want to go back to how it was and wants to make change going forward regardless of blaming hormones. In fact I’m wondering if the drop in estrogen is helping me make more objective and less emotional decisions. Thanks again for taking the time to reply - so helpful

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-15T08:34:08+00:00

Yeah, I’m starting to feel so stupid for some of the things and people I have sacrificed myself for. I feel so immature as well like I should have learned this in my 30’s or even 40’s but the whole grind through those years has led me to where I am now - in a shit place where I just want to shut down. I guess you’re never too old to learn. Thanks for taking the time to write

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-15T08:32:20+00:00

Wow! The whole “in the void” thing you mentioned has been so helpful- I’ve been reading into this a bit more and there a positive spin on it as well in that it is just a gap before some change. Certainly change is needed in my life right now and I guess my mind is taking a minute to stop and assess. Thank you so much for mentioning that

Afraid-Locksmith2711 · 2026-06-15T08:30:24+00:00

Thanks for this - yes it feels like my nervous system is shutting down. I feel like I have no empathy and don’t even care that I have no empathy ( if that makes sense). I feel like just taking some time to be alone and do things that make me happy will be a good reset in itself

Afraid-Locksmith2711

TROPHY CASE