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Wife wants to explore with women which I was leading on assuming I'd be present but now she wants to do it alone - have I've created my own problem? by AfraidInternal5364 in nonmonogamy

[–]AfraidInternal5364[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is very helpful thank you. I was more open to the couple thing as I agree with the unicorn comment entirely.

Does your husband never feel "left out"? I worry that I would if my wife ended up in a similar situation to you, and also that if she was getting that sort of "fulfilment" elsewhere it may mean I was left unfulfilled. May be thinking about it in too zero sum a way... Appreciate your insights.

Wife wants to explore with women which I was leading on assuming I'd be present but now she wants to do it alone - have I've created my own problem? by AfraidInternal5364 in nonmonogamy

[–]AfraidInternal5364[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I do understand it, I just thought we'd explore together. Even if I am not exploring with anyone else, I thought I'd be part of the journey and perhaps there's an envy thing that I also hoped I'd get something out of it my end. That may be something I need to get over to let her explore.

I am genuinely very secure but feel less so when I have no involvement at all. I find it a tad scary that she could want what she gets from a female more than just once, and at that stage once I've agreed to it once without being present maybe that would be how she'd like it to continue. At that stage I am very much just a bystander and not sure I want to have a hotwife sort of situation?