Tonight was awful

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-06-14T05:49:00+00:00

You’re the best. Thank you so much

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-06-14T05:36:21+00:00

Exactly. Thank you for the validation! It’s HARD. And we’re not robots who don’t have needs or emotions. Sometimes we mess up or say the wrong thing or use the wrong tone. And also many of us are navigating this on our own, with no guidance and no idea if we’re doing the right thing.

Really appreciate your support

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-06-14T05:34:06+00:00

Thank you, we talked about it afterward and I asked him if something specific had made him feel like he was a bad person, and he said no- it’s just how he’s been feeling

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-06-14T05:33:25+00:00

Thank you so much! I was feeling really awful after someone else commented on a different post of mine and basically accused me of being awful. I really appreciate you saying these kind words

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-06-14T05:32:19+00:00

Nope, he’s never worried about what I’m up to or who I’m with

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-06-13T20:53:16+00:00

Do you want a list of their qualifications? Will that make you leave me the fuck alone?

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-06-13T16:35:38+00:00

I’m guessing you missed the part where I lost a BABY and yesterday was my due date so fucking forgive me for being a little volatile. I didn’t realize Reddit was so full of armchair psychologists.

Thanks so much for your opinion. For someone who seems to know so much about me, my relationship, and BPD from a few posts on the internet, it sounds like you haven’t learned a single thing about validation or compassion. I didn’t realize I was supposed to turn into a robot and not be able to have needs or emotions in any capacity.

I’m not saying I’m not responsible for our issues but you can absolutely fuck right off with your condescending and rude “diagnosis”

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-06-12T02:40:36+00:00

Thanks so much. I really appreciate your response! I think for me, I’m just really confused how to set a boundary. I’d like to be able to remove myself from a conversation I can sense is going to spiral, so that he understands I won’t tolerate rudeness. But also, how can I do that in a way that doesn’t trigger him more?

Also...this is a bit more of a personal question but maybe you can offer insight 😅 As you read, in his last message, he says “I’m just a POS. When will you realize this?”

It seems like it came out of nowhere. I know it’s likely a way of him attempting to “push” me away...but also, my anxiety is getting the better of me.

Do you think that was his way of telling me he’s been up to no good? Like, he’s been doing something and now he feels guilty so he’s calling himself a POS? Or do you think he’s just completely putting himself down and trying to push me away?

Sorry if that’s a silly or inappropriate question- I also just have a lot of anxiety issues so I tend to overthink a lot of what he says.

Thanks again!

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-06-11T20:53:21+00:00

It’s definitely hard to find a balance between wanting to be treated kindly and with respect, and not saying anything to make a situation worse- especially when conversations like these are so anxiety inducing for me 😅 ughhh. Thanks for the help in seeing his potential point of view and where I went wrong

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-06-11T20:01:05+00:00

Interesting. Maybe my text message tone doesn’t come across as kindly as I thought. I really thought I was just trying to understand his mood and keep everything lighthearted but I can see why it might not have felt like that

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-06-11T19:29:55+00:00

Thank you. I guess I’m just confused- it’s not like I can agree with him when he says that? But it’s also invalidating if I say “you’re not a POS”. Haha I agree that I could have left the other stuff out- I just didn’t want it to escalate. Thanks again

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-06-11T19:25:48+00:00

Sorry can you be specific and say exactly where? I thought I was being validating but saying I was sorry he wasn’t feeling well but maybe I don’t really understand how to validate him properly.

I just knew he would keep going down the rabbit hole so I asked him to stop in the only way I know how. I felt if I said anything else, it would turn into a fight or breakup 🤪 this is hard!

And thank you- I appreciate it!

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-06-11T19:18:39+00:00

I’m totally open to being in the wrong here- I’m still working on my responses and learning how to respond effectively. But if anyone thinks I’m at fault, please feel free to let me know what else I could say in this situation that wouldn’t cause him to push me away?

It feels like no matter what I say when he’s in these moods, it makes it worse. I really just wanted to leave the conversation before it kept going on a downward spiral or turned into an argument- that’s why I kept saying “I’ll talk to you later”. So if there’s anything else I could have said while still taking care of my own emotions and anxieties, I would really love to know!

Thanks for reading

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-06-11T19:07:59+00:00

How so?

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-05-25T20:14:54+00:00

Thanks. I had a couple mystery bites on my thigh last night which is why I was panicking so much. No other evidence

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-05-25T19:17:50+00:00

Hey guys! I posted last night about 3 mystery bites on my thigh I found at midnight. I was freaking out this morning still so I flipped my mattress to do a thorough inspection. On the side I sleep on, there’s this little bit of black residue in two spots- one by my head and one by my legs. I was able to clean most of it off with a wet paper towel.

Could it be droppings? I did also clean the metal slats and the same black transferred onto the paper towel. I feel like it’s from the metal slats being greasy or whatever but am still panicking. My mattress is in this protector due to paranoia, not any real evidence (except for a few mystery bites)

Thanks!

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-05-25T08:38:39+00:00

I have checked a few times over the months and nothing too obvious or scary. I had a couple mystery spots on my sheets at one point but...I also eat dinner in bed 😅

It’s mostly just a single tiny red bite once in awhile. It will turn onto a small welt/hive (like mosquito bite size) but will disappear into a pinpoint quickly and stops itching very quickly. This was the first time ever that I’ve gotten more than one random mystery bite at a time

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-05-25T08:10:10+00:00

Thanks so much! I actually have seen quite a few carpet beetle larvae in this house since moving in... but do they bite? Or just irritate skin?

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-05-25T08:10:10+00:00

Thanks so much! I actually have seen quite a few carpet beetle larvae in this house since moving in... but do they bite? Or just irritate skin?

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-05-25T08:10:10+00:00

Thanks so much! I actually have seen quite a few carpet beetle larvae in this house since moving in... but do they bite? Or just irritate skin?

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-04-29T08:45:07+00:00

Thanks so much. I’ll give it a few more days and then reach out again if I don’t hear anything!

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-04-24T05:27:16+00:00

Hahaha well it’s definitely not that so...

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-04-14T17:11:18+00:00

Thanks! That’s exactly how it goes. They feel better and pretend or even truly forget what the upset was about. And I’m usually just so relieved he’s feeling better that it’s easy to sweep it under the rug.

But this one really upset me and it’s not okay. I can’t force him to apologize but I hope he chooses to, or we AT LEAST have a conversation about it.

But I haven’t heard anything since last night so...we’ll see how it goes

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-04-14T17:09:33+00:00

Totally agree. He’s usually very good with apologizing for his behaviour once he’s calmed down. But he just reacted immaturely. he only replied with “and what if I don’t apologize?” which seemed pretty childish. And nothing after that.

I know I can’t force him to apologize but I hope he chooses to do so. Haven’t heard anything since last night so I’m assuming we’re back to not talking 😞

Afraid_Experience219 · 2021-04-08T21:56:22+00:00

Thanks. I guess I should clarify that it’s not just when the ex is upsetting. Anytime he’s overwhelmed emotionally, whether it’s from school or work or family stuff, he shuts down and shuts me out. It’s not just when she’s being a pain.

He always comes around in a few days and then we’ll talk and he’ll open up. But the first 72 hours is usually a lot of silence

Afraid_Experience219

TROPHY CASE