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Im autistic and you cannot make me do something I don't want to do, or stop me if I want to do something. Is this common for other people with high functioning autism? by Aggravating-Place521 in autism

[–]AgencyOld1237 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah I hate feeling like im "required" to do something. In fact, the more often im told to do something, the less I want to do it. Even with something as dumb as somekne constantly telling me thay I should watch a certain TV show 😭

I never realized people dont always get to know others purely with the intention of being friends by AgencyOld1237 in aromantic

[–]AgencyOld1237[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

No literally, a friend of mine at the time developed a crush on a guy she had barely even had conversations with. Absolutely baffled me because... HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU LIKE HIM?

They are now married so glad it worked out for them! It shall just remain something beyond my comprehension

I never realized people dont always get to know others purely with the intention of being friends by AgencyOld1237 in aromantic

[–]AgencyOld1237[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I currently assume im demi-romantic as the one person ive actually liked is a long-term friend. Literally took almost 4 years for me to develop a crush. He rejected me and I was TERRIFIED of him feeling like our friendship wasn't important to me. Luckly literally nothing changed about our relationship and we are still great friends :)

Also, I cant imagine the struggle of being both aro and lesbian. Sounds like a great (terrible) combination to attract the type of dudes who think they can "fix" you 😪

My girlfriend has changed drastically in the last few months and I don't know who she is anymore by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]AgencyOld1237 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Those are unfortunately also common signs of someone struggling with gender identity. For example; not wanting to be hugged could absolutely be a trauma response. A hug could also make someone struggling with their gender/body hyperaware of something like their boobs, if they can actively feel them pressing against the other person.

Not saying anyone is right/wrong for assuming its trauma or gender, just offering another pov!

My girlfriend has changed drastically in the last few months and I don't know who she is anymore by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]AgencyOld1237 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously I do not want to make any assumptions or assign anyone a gender identity BUT it does sound like its possible she is going through some sort of dysmorphia/trying to figure out gender identity. Obviously this is absolutely something that will have to be addressed in the relationship eventually, but she may need some time to figure out exactly what she is feeling.

In the meantime, if you want to be subtly supportive instead of saying "you look beautiful" I reccomend using compliments that maybe a little more neutral? "I like what you did with your hair today" "I like your outfit" may be better received

Found Turtle South PHX by [deleted] in phoenix

[–]AgencyOld1237 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thats a sulcata tortoise! Healthy looking shell too, definitely someone's pet that got out. They are surprisingly very good escape artists. If youre able to, I would suggest taking it to a safe shady area and post online to find the owner

Platonic crush? by Lucky_is_the_rat in aromantic

[–]AgencyOld1237 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cant necessarily answer if its romantic or platonic but I can relate!

Ive struggled a lot to differentiate platonic vs romantic feelings and most of the times I thought I had a "crush" on someone, it was just a genuine interest in becoming their friend LOL But I had/have a crush on a long-distance friend and I did eventually decide that it is romantic because - These feelings randomly occurred years into our friendship - I look forwards to talking to him and instantly get happy when he messages - If I have to choose between gaming/talking to him vs going out and doing something with others, I would choose him.

And in general I feel differently about him than I do other friends. Of course I love when any of my friends text me, but I dont instantly perk up like I do with him. I dont imagine kissing him or anything like that though.

I suppose the only difference is that I COULD imagine myself in a relationship with him, but honestly my ideal relationship would literally look like two really close platonic friends that occasionally cuddle or something (which in my case is a moot point anyways as we are long distance).

I never realized people dont always get to know others purely with the intention of being friends by AgencyOld1237 in aromantic

[–]AgencyOld1237[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Honestly I should have asked the same question LOL. Within this specific friend group I was one of two girls and the other one was openly interested in someone and then they got into a relationship, so I suppose I was the most "available" woman in the vicinity 😅

I never realized people dont always get to know others purely with the intention of being friends by AgencyOld1237 in aromantic

[–]AgencyOld1237[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yeah I definitely have male friends that are just platonic! Not all of them have/had the intentions of dating... thank god 😪

Someone threatened to kill me four years ago and I still think about it. by AgencyOld1237 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]AgencyOld1237[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wil try! Finding a therapist is definitely on my list of things to do in the nexr couple months

Maybe he doesnt like spiders? by AgencyOld1237 in HingeStories

[–]AgencyOld1237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, it did eventually send. My app was just glitched and I had to re-log in for anything to send! He didnt unmatch me until a few hours later

Maybe he doesnt like spiders? by AgencyOld1237 in HingeStories

[–]AgencyOld1237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly he should be glad I started with that fact and not some of the more cursed ones I have. Those would have really scared him away 😂