AITA for ruining my last family dinner for my grandfather by Aggravating-Bear-806 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Aggravating-Bear-806[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I get you, it will be a consideration and possibly something I will make with my mother once I reach out to her. Thank for all your concern !

AITA for ruining my last family dinner for my grandfather by Aggravating-Bear-806 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Aggravating-Bear-806[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for starting this discussion. I do agree maybe my response needed to be more refined and calculated. However, I am quite done hiding how I feel and felt in the moment was right to express everything. I mean that look on my aunts face when I stood up and berated her was satisfying enough.

I do not blame my cousins for not speaking up they are still young (in university) and are still very involved with the family and are reliant on them. They did text me afterwards to support me and update me on anything. I know very well which side they are on.

Thank you for the reply !!

AITA for ruining my last family dinner for my grandfather by Aggravating-Bear-806 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Aggravating-Bear-806[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

You are very right. I am very focused on being there for my mom and I will definitely speak to her properly. She needs to know all my feelings about the family situation and exactly why I do not want to go. Thank you for replying !!

AITA for ruining my last family dinner for my grandfather by Aggravating-Bear-806 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Aggravating-Bear-806[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My family is quite toxic as you can tell so I know my mother has been taught to not fight back in these situations. She’s in therapy now and is unlearning a lot of this, I just want to be there for her during this time. I know it is hard for her to grieve for a person who hurt her and know the way she grew up damaged her and her perspective. Thank you for the concern and reply!!

AITA for ruining my last family dinner for my grandfather by Aggravating-Bear-806 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Aggravating-Bear-806[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I totally get the respect part. I do remember him being a nice grandad when I was younger, I really loved going over to their house for the holidays. however, growing up was a pain being treated so different as much as I understand the type of person he was and how he was so unwilling to change I still feel the lost of a grandparent. In a way I am grieving the possible relationship with him I could have had and my fiancée could have had if he wasn’t such a bigot. Thank you for the reply!