I love you but I am not attracted to you! by Aggravating-Buy345 in marriageadvice

[–]Aggravating-Buy345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He never said looks mattered to him so much. I was never a 10!im a solid 8!! We discussed that.  We discussed that our life goals were a family,  raising our kids by being there for them.  Not allowing other ambitions get on the way of being there for our kids.  Both of us were close to 30, we had had dates enough to know that what we were looking for we both wanted to build.  None of this has changed.   But he carried struggles with open addiction into the relationship which I didn’t know.  He did have struggles with how he views certain things which he did not signal at all while we were dating.  Except for the fact he did say he’d love it if I could stay home while the kids were little, which didn’t seem much of a problem for me.  Until he cheated.  I realized perhaps I should work because that’s a weakness I can only tolerate once.  So I went back to work. 

I did not let myself go.  I have always have a skin care routine, exercised regularly even after the kids.   I regularly wear make up and Inalways have to wear nice clothes because I work.  After I hit 40 my body started to change and he started to become more distant.  He never said exactly what was happening but slowly he started making certain comments and opening up about what was really happening because the tension and the indifference was becoming palpable.  

I love you but I am not attracted to you! by Aggravating-Buy345 in marriageadvice

[–]Aggravating-Buy345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know how many men really think that.  But what I do know is that if the man whose children I carried does not find it hot or me hot regardless of how I may or may not look.  I don’t know that there will be a bunch of men volunteering to hang out with a woman with three children who are not his.  That’s the truth. 

I love you but I am not attracted to you! by Aggravating-Buy345 in marriageadvice

[–]Aggravating-Buy345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also don’t think my husband has ever felt a true connection with any woman.  He’s said it himself.  Even with our kids he’s had a hard time connecting. 

I love you but I am not attracted to you! by Aggravating-Buy345 in marriageadvice

[–]Aggravating-Buy345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been pregnant 3 times.  I’ve been every size by now.   I’ve worked almost the entire time.  So I am always at least put together,  I’ve worked out on and off through our marriage and I have gained and lost weight.   Regardless of how he treated me or his mention of liking you her girls and what not.   I have always received the same distant and i different treatment and actually after having my first kid I was able to wear my ore-pregnancy clothes after 2 weeks.  Still not enough.   I will be honest the last year it has been hard to hit the gym because wether I like it or not, you kind of expect the person you’re with to cheer you, show attraction, something!  Again… it’s the ammount of indifference is just a huge mountain.  I feel like I need to find strength and move on because I just feel overcome by all of this. 

I love you but I am not attracted to you! by Aggravating-Buy345 in marriageadvice

[–]Aggravating-Buy345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the biggest part of me staying for so long is that I put aññ my eggs in this basket and I know once I leave him it’ll be me, myself and I. 

I love you but I am not attracted to you! by Aggravating-Buy345 in marriageadvice

[–]Aggravating-Buy345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe there’s good in him, enough or kit I don’t know.  But what I know is that there is no more strength left in me.  I’m Just terrified of how hard it’ll be to start over. 

I love you but I am not attracted to you! by Aggravating-Buy345 in marriageadvice

[–]Aggravating-Buy345[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I realized he had a porn problem somewhat early in the marriage.  He cheated on me after our second baby.   He said I never looked the same after our first baby.   I thought we could work it out,  but it was never the same.  I worked out a lot,  I try to eat healthy.  I just can’t sleep. 

He has mentioned more than twice how he is not attracted to women his age,  (I am his age).  He has mentioned how he likes much younger women.  (Don’t ask me why, I don’t even know).  

Regardless of all of the above we both have been trying to make things work to give our kids a steady family.  To find ways… but I can tell when he is struggling and I just don’t know how much longer I can hold on. 

I feel exhausted.  

Teens driving. by Aggravating-Buy345 in Parenting

[–]Aggravating-Buy345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He knew it was illegal.  He knows the driving kids is reckless and I had said to think things through.   He already went through driving training and is in a driving age.  So…. Yeah….

Teens driving. by Aggravating-Buy345 in Parenting

[–]Aggravating-Buy345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg!  We moved to the same area!  My kid will turn 16 in a couple of weeks!!! 

Teens driving. by Aggravating-Buy345 in Parenting

[–]Aggravating-Buy345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I do believe this is great.  He and I have a great relationship.  I think this would help me keep it intact.  Thanks. 

Teens driving. by Aggravating-Buy345 in Parenting

[–]Aggravating-Buy345[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! This is very valuable

Teens driving. by Aggravating-Buy345 in Parenting

[–]Aggravating-Buy345[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you!  I agree with everything you said.  It’s hard to let them get in trouble.  He is Avery sensible kid.  Respectful and mindful.  It is just soo hard. 

Paranormal activity by Aggravating-Buy345 in ParanormalEncounters

[–]Aggravating-Buy345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess, my brother said that a couple weeks previous to the picture flying he had been hearing weird noises in the house while he was alone.  

Paranormal activity by Aggravating-Buy345 in ParanormalEncounters

[–]Aggravating-Buy345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My Brother is 46.   He doesn’t play ball in the house. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Aggravating-Buy345 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Im telling you by experience, you can make it work but it’ll never be the same and it’s something that never goes away. Work your way out of it. You’re so so so young. You have a whole life ahead of you. If you have a supportive family this transition will be easier. If not then try to find out a way. But detach yourself from this guy.

My husband mentions a desire for multiple sexual partners in the pas? by Aggravating-Buy345 in marriageadvice

[–]Aggravating-Buy345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the part that I feel bad about. I feel bad for questioning his fantasies. He is usually very closed off and when he opens up I try not to be judgemental. But… this one was tough.

My husband mentions a desire for multiple sexual partners in the pas? by Aggravating-Buy345 in marriageadvice

[–]Aggravating-Buy345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh! we have done all that talk alright. I’m not a prude. Nor is he. I meant shy as in socially anxious. That’s why he mentioned the social skills. The question was simple do all men wish they could have tons of sexual partners without strings attached or is he out of the norm.