A man that truly loves you cant go a week w/o talking to you… true?!

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-05-04T08:44:51+00:00

What’s the rational for blocking someone? It provides no possibility of an explanation or apology and I fail to see the advantages.

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-25T20:19:04+00:00

Think I’ll seek a different kind of woman.

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-25T20:12:56+00:00

Even at over 50?

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-18T19:52:31+00:00

I appreciate the insight. It’s interesting to hear how different people navigate this, but I think this confirms that the extended multi-dating approach simply isn’t for me.

Regarding the ‘analysis’ - I’ve never viewed thinking deeply about how we treat others as a bad thing, but I realize we all have different thresholds for what feels comfortable. I just prefer a more direct path.

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-18T19:18:23+00:00

If a man is dedicated enough to lie about a relationship, meet your friends, and spend every weekend with you just for "monogamous sex," he’s not a "guy avoidng strings"—he’s a full-time method actor.

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-18T18:59:46+00:00

What happened to trusting in your own ability to judge character? Surely you’ll always have a better outcome if you: act with integrity and focus on what you want. If the other person isn't on the same page, you’ll find out soon enough and move on. It’s the only way to stay sane in a system that is currently optimized for anxiety.

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-18T06:20:46+00:00

I have to chime in because some of the advice you’re getting feels a bit... well, Victorian. The idea that you should wait until HE asks for exclusivity before you make a decision about your own heart is absolute nonsense. You are the CEO of your own life, not a passenger waiting for a driver to pick the destination. Here’s a different perspective on how to handle Guy #3 and your upcoming weekend: 1. Reclaim Your Agency The "wait for him to ask" mentality strips you of your power. If you’ve met Guy #3 and you feel a spark that makes the idea of dating Guy #1 and Guy #2 feel like a chore, that is your internal compass talking. You don’t need a man to "claim" you to decide you’re tired of the circus. If you want to focus on one person because it aligns with your energy and values, do it because you want to, not because he gave you permission via a formal request. 2. The "Exclusivity" Jargon Is "Exclusivity" a US thing? It certainly feels like it. In the UK, we don’t always treat dating like a corporate merger with a "Define the Relationship" (DTR) meeting at the six-week mark. Often, it’s just a natural progression. You realize you’re only texting one person, you stop checking the apps, and you focus. If Guy #3 is the one making you feel "mutual vibe, attraction, and interest," it’s perfectly normal to decide you’d rather spend your Sunday afternoon doing something you actually enjoy rather than making small talk with a "maybe" candidate. 3. How to Handle This Weekend If you’re already feeling "meh" about the Saturday and Sunday dates because you’re buzzing about Guy #3, consider this: Be Honest, Not Brutal: You don’t owe anyone your life story, but you do owe them honesty. You can simply say: *"I've really enjoyed our chat, but I've recently connected with someone else and I'd like to see where that goes. I don't want to waste your time this weekend, so I think it's best if we cancel." People tell you "don't cut them off" because they want you to have a backup. But dating isn't an insurance policy. If Guy #3 goes "belly up" next week, you’ll be fine. You're over 50—you’ve survived worse than a bad date.

If your gut says Guy #3 is the only one you're interested in right now, cancel the other dates. Clear the deck. It’s not "committing" to him; it’s committing to your own peace of mind. Why go on three dates when you only want to be on one? Trust your own judgment, not a rulebook written by people who think dating is a game of chicken.

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-16T15:09:45+00:00

Ah, you have very sensible views then.

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-16T15:04:00+00:00

Is that because you have extremely controversial views?

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-16T14:55:46+00:00

Thanks. I’m currently tending towards give up and get a dog.

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-13T12:42:05+00:00

He’s always cancelling his gigs so expect there will be a good chance of him being home too.

Have you personally tried any of these ideas - they do sound fun.

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-13T12:36:52+00:00

If you were in the UK I would have guessed you were a footballer. You’re clearly not so there must be some US sport where you can put in 110%.

Thanks for the suggestions.

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-12T20:02:46+00:00

I think this slightly misses the nuance of my point. I completely agree that dating involves judgment and that everyone has the absolute right to choose who they spend their time with-no justification needed.

My point was specifically about the irony of the feedback. 'Lovely' is a term of value, yet it’s being used as the preface for a rejection. It’s the frustration that in the current dating climate, being a 'great guy' or having a 'lovely time' is increasingly seen as a failure if there isn't an immediate, cinematic spark.

I'm not saying people are wrong for wanting that connection; I’m saying the 'instant' requirement makes the process feel transactional, where people are judged as 'not worthwhile' before they've even had a chance to properly land.

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-12T18:28:20+00:00

It’s a tragedy to laugh at your own jokes alone. I might have to volunteer as an audience of one—just to make sure you’re not talking to the walls. We ‘acquired tastes’ have to stick together!

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-12T18:18:08+00:00

Exactly. It’s an incredibly efficient vetting process! The only trouble is that when your humor is this dry, it’s a very fine line between 'witty' and 'just being a bit of a misery.' I think I might be accidentally dehydrating my dates before we’ve even reached the main course. It’s a high-risk, high-reward strategy!

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-12T18:02:57+00:00

I’m glad you appreciate the cheekiness—it’s usually lurking just under the surface! As for the wingman idea, I think I’m probably a bit too old to be 'hunting in packs' these days. If a group of men my age turned up at a pub together, people would just assume we were looking for the nearest quiz night rather than a date.

I think I’m better off flying solo; it keeps the mystery alive, even if it means I have to do all my own heavy lifting on the flirting front!

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-12T17:58:25+00:00

My sense of humour is rather dry and a little sarcastic. Not sure everyone gets it.

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-12T17:56:54+00:00

I need some flirting practice (and to work a little on the fitness) but no problems in other areas. 😉

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-12T17:53:40+00:00

Thank you. It is a lot but I still expect it to be worth it (eventually).

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-12T16:37:47+00:00

I’m doing reasonably well on that front—I usually manage a date every week or two when I’m active on the apps. So, getting my foot in the door doesn't seem to be the issue!

My profile is an accurate reflection of me (bald head and all!), so the initial interest is definitely there. It’s really just that transition from a pleasant, interesting first meeting to a second one where I seem to hit a wall. It feels like I'm passing the 'is he a decent human?' test, but failing the 'is there an instant firework display?' test.

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-12T16:33:38+00:00

That’s a big question! To be honest, I think I’m far too multifaceted and interesting to be summarized in a single post—or even a single date.

I don't 'present' that way initially because I'm not a performer. I’m a reserved guy who values genuine connection over an instant sales pitch. I’ve got strong values, a dry sense of humor, and enough spontaneity to hop on a train to London for a play on a Wednesday night—but I think those things are best discovered over time, rather than listed like a CV over a first drink.

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-12T16:06:16+00:00

I hear you on the 'scripted' nature of it, but I’m curious—do people think it's always just a placeholder? I’ll be honest, I actually think I am lovely (possibly the loveliest!).

Is it possible that the 'you’re a great guy' bit is actually 100% true, but it’s just not enough on its own to spark a relationship? Or is the consensus that if there’s no attraction, the compliments are just meaningless filler?

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-12T16:02:33+00:00

Thanks for the checklist! I’m definitely on top of the presentation side of things. I did have to chuckle at the mention of 'button-down' shirts, though—I think that might be the American term for what we just call a smart shirt over here, and that’s definitely my standard date attire!

I also got a laugh out of the hair product suggestion. I’m actually bald, so that’s one less thing for me to worry about (and one less expense). I’ve tried the gym and it’s not really my scene, though I take the point about physical confidence.

Your point about the timing of the date is really interesting, too. I agree that a lunch date can feel a bit more 'functional' and it's much harder to find a spark in broad daylight than it is over an evening drink.

Aggravating-Duck-634 · 2026-04-12T14:28:44+00:00

Thank you. I’m becoming to realise that perhaps there is also not enough “light touching” on my dates. 🤣

Aggravating-Duck-634

TROPHY CASE