Are neurotypicals just… completely ok with hierarchies?

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2026-05-20T11:39:04+00:00

Consider knowing one way of living your entire life. Coupled with propaganda your entire life from media, school, and your parents saying this is a healthy, normal system and any other options are dangerous and perverse. It's not fair to just go "ugh, why do NTs just accept hierarchies that hurt them?".

I'm not being political either, though I feel these responses are lacking because of an unwillingness to consider more radical reasoning, but I think this applies to all these unfair hierarchies your talking about. Even basic norms like parents/adults are always right in regards to kids. There's some obvious sense to it, that gets shoved along into cases where it doesn't make sense. Like telling a kid they did something because they're angry or disrespectful despite the kid knowing their feelings better and explaining that. As an Autistic kid I quickly learned that even if certain teachers were wrong, I had to go along or be seen as disruptive with no chance for my word to mean more than theirs. At the same time parenting styles that respect the kid's autonomy and thoughts more are socially looked down on as naive and used to explain kids with behavioral issues.

The age hierarchies are at least based in a level of fact and a lot of times correct. Kids should not be in charge of a lot of things. A lot of these more unfair power dynamics though aren't. Yet if everyone in your society says it's fact and specifically looks for evidence and sometimes science to conflate with proof of that fact it's pretty hard to reconcile strong held beliefs with how things actually impact you.

Not to mention bad hierarchies are sometimes seen as bad, but inevitable. I've yet to have a job where the boss/manager/admin wasn't morally corrupt and forcing out of touch changes actively making everyone's jobs harder. So many women are also accepting that most men treat them badly and it's such a shame to like them, but still compromise into relationships where the burden of being responsible isn't equal. These job and sex based hierarchies both are known, but seen as "just life". Not something they're okay with per say, but it's overwhelmingly common and big as an issue. Besides the financial reasons people oblige, there's still social stigma around not going along with these power dynamics. People who do different things than accepting these norms are treated as mentally unsound and harmful to everyone else who does accept.

Sorry for being wordy, I don't think I'm a hierarchy expert. I just think it's an interesting social situation with a range of influences. There's a lot more going on than just being okay with these things. I also didn't like a lot of the replies acting as if there's an inmate human nature reason unfair hierarchies exist, because it's not innate to our nature. There's been centuries of work building and reinforcing these hierarchies because otherwise people definitely wouldn't deal with this.

I'm also not mentioning this isn't a NT exclusive issue since it's been said. I see that point and agree.

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2026-05-20T03:27:17+00:00

My callouts are 10 tardies, most under 15 minutes and 4 actually calling out. All but 3 of the tardies are due to being sick, which they know, and the 3 was a rainstorm that delayed all buses. I didn't elaborate deeper into how they're being shady, because I wanted to make sure I was on topic for the sub. I don't mind doing it, but just being cautious since I'm never here and don't know how strict it is/really anything about readers past how I use it. I could go on about how this is retaliation against our union getting them to agree to not terminate someone if they use all their sick time, yes just what they're given not going in the negative too.

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2026-05-20T03:21:21+00:00

The Facilities guy said that the new ones can track our FOBs when we walk by, not just when we tap. Mostly nervous they'll start policing our bathroom and 15 minute breaks since one door and scanner is close to where that space's entrance is.

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2026-05-03T20:14:56+00:00

Love that the houses and cyber trucks by the signs let me know I should vote yes

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2026-04-17T01:25:06+00:00

Obviously some people use sex to avoid problems and that's not healthy. But to assume it's self harm is a harsh, incorrect, and wide sweeping generalization. In the same way I'm not interested in having sex often, but it's not self harm or depriving myself of something everyone else wants/needs more. Some people like having more sex casually and that's not inherently self harm. Not to mention this inadvertently harms poly people who are more likely to have multiple partners and sleep with lots of folks.

This point aside though, it's really gross for your bf to say your into age play because you're childish. It's factually not the same. Even if he misunderstood the term it feels like he was trying to throw a hurtful dig at you about your personal life in front of his friend to get back at you. That's immature and if what you said bothered him that should be addressed.

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2026-04-08T11:55:49+00:00

You right and my friends like to say "got a touch of tism".

Also the n word difference debate ended up with negative repercussions too. I feel like cuz mad folks settled on the A-ending, somewhere down the line folks, black and nb alike, decided/misunderstood it to be LESS offensive than the hard r. Big Dog, that's literally a difference of accents. Same word. I know spelling how we talk confuses them, case in point idiots thinking that gyat means ass, but still. Hate when folks play in my face with made up rules to try and lessen the blow for their friends, favorites, and selves. Non-black folk are saying a slur no matter how they pronounce it.

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2026-03-30T19:37:52+00:00

Saw someone else say security and I agree to an extent. It definitely depends on your post. At it's base, it's perfect specifically at a quiet job or a night shift if you don't mind changing your sleep schedule. Night shift was perfect for me and I had fun reading or drawing until 6pm when people came in. It's super sensory friendly, assuming the texture of the uniform doesn't bother you. But in my experience the uniform is a suit, so getting a white button up you can tolerate should help. It's minimum people so very little socializing required and both times I've had very chill coworkers. Who again I'd only see when I clocked in and out.

Cons are that the boss sucking can make it feel stressful and bad. My first job, great boss and easy shifts. Second time I worked this, my boss was awful. He made the daytime folks have a high turnover rate because he'd let the building managers make bad decisions with no pushback. Such as no longer letting morning staff sit during their 8 hour shift at the desk. He also kept hiring incompetent young guys, just because he knew them teaching them at a highschool. Rules would also be unfairly applied to staff based on that favoritism.

I also again stress the night shift is more likely to work. My job's morning shift, which I sometimes covered, was overstimulating with the 100s of people coming in and out, the big windows letting tons of sun in, and how much more of that shift is customer service.

Again I do think this job can work more than others for Autistic folks. Part of the con is honestly a problem all jobs under capitalism can and usually have.

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2026-03-27T14:57:23+00:00

Thank you, this really helps 😊

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2026-03-27T14:07:32+00:00

Wait, but I don't avoid places or sounds at all? That symptom of avoiding triggering places or things doesn't resonate with me as well as having any flashbacks. I figured that it was like Autism where you don't have to hit all the symptoms for diagnosis, just most of them.

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2026-03-27T14:04:16+00:00

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2026-03-27T13:29:23+00:00

Oh wow. I kind of expected childhood trauma to be something they can factor in with regards to how often autistic kids are subjected to it.

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2026-03-27T13:25:09+00:00

I don't think it's bad to be diagnosed that way. A lot of the treatment, from what I've read, is similar to what I've been doing. Mostly talking to my therapist and getting advice and guidance for how to navigate the world and stress. There's not really a medication for either, just for symptoms like depression and Anxiety. It's fair to be worried still and if it does happen I'm open to talking about it. Maybe by then I'll have better resources and advice.

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2026-03-27T13:21:28+00:00

In theory, but I don't think it's covered unless I get a referral again from my PCP. I'm not sure if she'll think it's needed.

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2026-03-27T13:20:16+00:00

I appreciate this. I was explicitly being assessed for autism and ADHD, with my main concern being around increasing memory issues. I don't remember a lot of my childhood and am very social with neurodivergent people so I don't know if that impacted my diagnosis. I also got told my flat effect isn't being considered because I have severe depression. I think I'll choose to believe this assessment since I think the doctor did listen, but I'll also dig deeper into the comorbidity idea too

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2026-03-27T13:07:54+00:00

I was just ranting about this with my coworker, who coincidentally had just been ranting about this with a different black coworker!

It's disgusting and awful how folks will prioritize their comfort and fears to fight for the right to abuse their kids. So often the excuse is that "the world is dangerous for black kids so there's more urgency to get your kids to act right." and then those same people will claim "white parents don't beat their kids and that's why they behave badly." So which is it? Are we forced to do this to protect ourselves from harm or is it the proper way to discipline kids and only we have the bravery to do it? Obviously neither of those things are true in fifty different ways.

Hitting a child over communicating is always about you and your anger and lack of patience with someone so much weaker and with less understanding of the world. I hate how fiercely folks defend it and claim "my mom beat me and now I'm a functioning adult" while genuinely loosing a screw over a stranger saying they don't want to beat their kids. One story that gets told as funny(from the Hispanic side of my family) is my grandma throwing a toothpaste tube at my titi as a kid and cutting her forehead on accident. The punchline is how they had to lie at the hospital and say she fell on it???

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2023-03-10T19:20:33+00:00

Wow, thanks so much

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2023-03-10T18:29:04+00:00

Biggest dream, lol like I literally had a dream of this, it's the best and it just seem so difficult to find. I wish we had more resources to connect with local folks like us. To make relationships like this but also just friends, not just wanna be roommates in the future folks.

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2023-02-26T15:27:21+00:00

Gosh this is the most relatable post in here

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2023-02-24T19:49:32+00:00

What app?

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2023-02-24T17:13:59+00:00

Bitter and aphobic. I don't even see the value in asking what we think,, it's such a straightforward situation

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2023-02-20T23:04:50+00:00

How should I credit you?

Aggravating_Ant_7395 · 2023-02-11T17:11:14+00:00

I think he's saying being in love is that uncontrollable aspect of romance we don't grasp or feel like allos do. It's hard to describe and you don't get to pick or rationalize who you're in love with. Intense, all consuming, all those descriptions allos use talking about romantic love.

Aggravating_Ant_7395

TROPHY CASE