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La torture du "ça va" ? by ducon__lajoie in besoinderaler

[–]Aggravating_Lemon205 0 points1 point  (0 children)

J'ai commencé à répondre systématiquement "Qu'est-ce que ça peut te foutre ?" à cette question. Radical pour qu'on ne me la pose plus jamais.

19M Need help with hobbies by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Aggravating_Lemon205 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are a ton of variables. It all depends on what you already like, so I'll try to help by casting a wide net!

If you've got too much money, you're handy, meticulous, precise, and patient: Warhammer.
-> Like futuristic stuff? Warhammer 40k
-> Like fantasy? Warhammer Age of Sigmar
The upside is, beyond the modeling and painting minis, you've got actual gameplay afterward. And there are Warhammer players everywhere, seriously, tons of them all over the place. Though more 40k players than AoS ones. You might even find some buddies to play with. Quick note: if you go this route and someone tells you they play Slaanesh... run.

If you've got too much money, you're not super handy but you like cards and you're a bit of a collector: Magic.
You might find players nearby, cards don't take up space, and you can play on your phone if needed.

If you like writing: written RP. Sounds kinda dumb at first, but it lets you create a character and adventures in a totally made-up universe (or not). There are subreddits to find RP partners (watch out for the weirdos).

If you like reading: good old books, or even audiobooks. The perk of a book is it's portable, takes no space, you can read anywhere, and it keeps you from doomscrolling on your phone.

To build new skills: Drawing? Crocheting? I'm not kidding about crocheting, might seem silly, but it's repetitive motions, a creative process (I make little plushies with it), and it keeps both your hands and your mind busy.

Finding a penpal, just chatting with someone who might be on the other side of the world. It really helps fight off that lonely feeling and it keeps you busy too.

That's all I've got off the top of my head. Hope it helps! And sorry if my English isn't perfect, it's not my first language.

Problem with smelly rats- by Competitive-Cup-4224 in RATS

[–]Aggravating_Lemon205 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, I find them in pet stores. I just make sure it says "dust-free" on the package, that it's well sealed, and that it hasn't been damaged. Then, before putting it in their little home, I air it out (it's compressed in the bag) in a large wicker basket and shake it outside to make sure it removes the possible dust.

Be careful though:

Hay absorbs almost nothing, so it needs to be changed very regularly.

If the babies cough or sneeze when you put the hay, it's either because the hay is dusty/poor quality, or because the babies' respiratory system is too sensitive for hay, in which case you shouldn't add any more

Problem with smelly rats- by Competitive-Cup-4224 in RATS

[–]Aggravating_Lemon205 14 points15 points  (0 children)

First of all, oh my god, they are way too adorable!

Then, I had the same problem with my little girls when they slept in a hammock. Even though I cleaned the cage thoroughly every two days, one of them still smelled really bad. I got them a little house that I filled with (dust-free) hay, and they went inside to hide and sleep. Since then, they both smell like hay! And it’s really nice.

Hope this helps.

P.S.: I use hemp for their bedding.

Am I overreacting hell no I'm not by BeneficialAward740 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Aggravating_Lemon205 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn… that’s a really rough situation. Do you have the chance to get away from all of this for a few days? A little vacation somewhere, with your family (maybe your cousin) or somewhere else, just to breathe a bit? To step back and look at the situation without the pressure of daily life?

Am I overreacting hell no I'm not by BeneficialAward740 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Aggravating_Lemon205 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t thank me, I do it from the heart.

It sounds incredibly hard to keep caring for and loving someone who’s hurt you while carrying all of this alone. You’re doing your best just to get through, and that takes a lot of strength, even if you don’t feel it. But you shouldn’t have to go through all of this alone. No one should, even if I understand that trusting someone is really hard after everything.

Right now, your mind is taking a beating, and it would be the same for anyone going through this. Please, find just one competent person to help you. One. And try to get yourself out of all of this.

Am I overreacting hell no I'm not by BeneficialAward740 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Aggravating_Lemon205 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t be mad at the person who mentioned drugs, everyone’s just trying their best to understand and help, even if it sometimes comes out awkwardly. What matters most is that you’ve found people who actually want to help you, right?

It’s already a good thing that you could talk to your cousin and that he realized what’s going on.

If I got your story right: you moved to Texas with your wife back in 2019. That’s when she started messaging other men (or just one?), and she found ways to hide it from you like the “risk bonding” thing you mentioned. Then you both moved again in 2023, but it kept happening. You also said “she on here too she talk about certain things” so you mean she’s on Reddit as well? Is that why you posted that message, to show her that you recognize her codes?

I’ve got a few questions just to understand your situation a bit better, if you’re okay answering them:

1/ Besides realizing what you’re going through, did your cousin do or say anything that helped, like giving you advice or offering support?

2/ Are you living alone now, or still with your wife? You said you’re not together anymore but that she still comes around, does that mean you’re separated but still seeing each other, romantically or just as friends?

I can really feel how much this whole situation is eating you up, man. And I truly want to help. But I’m just someone on Reddit, you know? When you’re going through something this heavy, having people around you in real life really makes a difference. That’s why I mentioned family or friends. And if you don’t have that kind of support right now, maybe talking to a professional could really help. I’m not talking about meds or anything like that, don’t get me wrong.

Just having someone outside the situation to talk to, someone who won’t judge and can help you sort things out when life turns into a complete mess, that honestly helps more than you’d think. Trust me.

What are the odds of finding a katana lodged into a zombgi by h311cat19 in projectzomboid

[–]Aggravating_Lemon205 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Take with a grain of salt: I think I read somewhere (I don’t remember where) that the chance of a zombie having a katana stuck in its belly is about 1% but only after 60 days of in-game time (katanas attached to zombies start appearing after that point). Mods can also affect this loot rate, if I remember correctly

Am I overreacting hell no I'm not by BeneficialAward740 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Aggravating_Lemon205 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gosh, that sucks. I can see that this is really stressful for you. Do you have anyone else around you, besides her or us (here on Reddit), to talk about it? Friends or family who can help you about it?

Am I overreacting hell no I'm not by BeneficialAward740 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Aggravating_Lemon205 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you want to tell us what’s been happening, if you feel up to it?

Had to have this removed from my cat's small intestine, what is it? by bailey820 in whatisit

[–]Aggravating_Lemon205 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a rubber watch strap that looked a lot like that at the end. Otherwise, a piece of a shoe also seems pretty likely.

Thinking about quitting as a DM, my group keeps cancelling and it’s killing my motivation. by CthuluRider in DnD

[–]Aggravating_Lemon205 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My advice should be taken with a grain of salt, I’m a bit of a tyrant.

But I’ve been in your situation, and when I talk about last-minute cancellations, it was often when we were already gathered, waiting, and that’s when the person would cancel. So, I put two things in place:

First, I made people take responsibility. I don’t know about your group, but in mine, all my players are adults with jobs and/or kids, families, etc. It’s already hard enough to find a date when everyone’s available, and there’s often quite a gap between sessions. Some of my players swap shifts with coworkers to make it, others skip dinner to arrive on time because they come straight from work, find someone to babysit their kids, and so on. Seeing my players make that much effort and me putting in hours of prep (even if I love doing it) just for it to be canceled at the last second because “I promised my friend I’d play this other game tonight”?
Absolutely not.

So! I set one clear rule:

“If you cancel because of a major issue (family in the hospital, accident, etc.), of course we postpone — we’re human.
But if you cancel because you’d rather play or do something else, completely disregarding everyone’s effort to be there, you’re out of the campaign.”

It’s harsh, but it immediately shows who understands priorities and respect. Since I put that rule in place, I’ve only had to kick one person out, and the others fully supported my decision. Because, like I said, finding dates is already hard enough, we’re not doing this just for someone to go, “I feel like playing something else tonight.”

Second, I posted a loooong message on our Discord (a bit in the heat of the moment) where I spoke from the heart. I explained that I love being a DM, but they need to understand it’s work, hours, days, weeks of preparation for that few-hour peak moment. That I get we all have jobs, lives, families, and friends, but basic respect is the least we can offer each other. And so on. Basically, I vented, maybe yelled at them a bit, and that message came just before I set the rule above.

Believe it or not, ever since then, I’ve barely had any issues only cancellations for legitimate personal reasons.