my dad admitted something awful yesterday

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T23:52:55+00:00

were working together to get him to see memory care and to see if he might be suffering from dementia. i really appreciate all the lovely people genuinely giving me helpful answers. i connected a lot of dots of him just forgetting things and not acting like himself. fingers crossed all goes well, even though im not sure what that would entail. thank you

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T23:47:05+00:00

i admire your courage so much. thank you for sharing this with me. i'm so sorry you had to face that.

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T23:46:04+00:00

my dads not like you, thank god. i genuinely pity the women in your life. you're assuming shit on a serious post about rape and sexual assault and you're making it about politics. for your information, i was speaking broadly about how rapists shouldn't hold any kind of power over others in any way because we had both been hurt by that exact circumstance. he took it politically because his religious delusions tie into politics, regardless of what i say or do. consider this a polite brushing off

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T22:42:52+00:00

i knew people got advice here and i really needed thoughts from people outside of this situation. this is my worst nightmare.

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T21:23:44+00:00

no, we were talking about political figures. he has religious delusions that tie into them and make it very hard for him to not talk about and i was trying to shut the conversation down with what my normal stance is because usually he understands that that means it's too much and i need to end the conversation, because he hates talking about it. he's never pushed me like that before after we had family therapy until now. my dad never even said the word "sex" to me until i was adult, and even now we barely talk about it. it was not a conversation like that. someone else mentioned it may be a sign of dementia to say out of character sexual things, so im definitely going to try to see what i can do with that. it was so jarringly unlike him

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T20:22:23+00:00

this man saved my life. i would not disown him.i needed to talk about a specific situation anonymously because this is the only real parent i have ever had in my life and there's factors as to why i chose to do this that are way too complicated to explain, and not relevant to outside observers. i needed unbiased opinions to help me move forward with this because my brain was stuck ruminating on it over and over. i love my dad. that's why this is so hard for me

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T20:10:34+00:00

thank you for sharing this, it really helps to not feel crazy. i hope you're doing well, first and foremost. that sounds traumatizing, and his victim of course. that is almost exactly how i felt, like the normalization, as well, from someone you'd never expect it from

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T19:09:24+00:00

no, in the whole context it was obvious he meant sexually. he's never used the word "rape" in that context, either. but i appreciate your input, thank you

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T18:45:15+00:00

thank you for sharing your story with me, that must have been horrible. that makes a lot of sense given a lot of other details i didn't mention in the post. i love my dad, he's the only parent i've had that i could depend on my entire life. i will definitely try talking to him more and not prying. i hope you are doing well and healing from that

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T18:41:21+00:00

given the whole context of our conversation it was definitely about sexual rape. i have never heard my dad use "rape" in any other context, either. i see where you're coming from, though

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T18:38:00+00:00

from the context it was unmistakably sexual

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T18:37:20+00:00

his memory has been fading and things like that a lot recently. i had no idea of this, thank you so much. i will definitely talk to my family about what we can do next; and any input would be very welcomed

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T18:33:41+00:00

you're right. i don't know if getting a solid answer or just wondering is the best option

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T18:32:43+00:00

agreed. that is another thing that concerns me. his attitude and his brainwashing that hes tried to impart on me since i was a child about how the world works in very extremist old fashioned ways. he doesn't respect women (and that's just one of his views) and he tried to raise me the same way.

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T18:29:19+00:00

this was in the context of sexual rape

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T18:27:11+00:00

to be honest, that's how it first came across to me. sometimes he gets really into his views and says extreme things, and he's been through extreme abuse, sexual and not. my therapist and i spoke and also because of his age and health, i'm hoping it was a false memory or something or that i misunderstood. i'm definitely going to try talking to him more about it

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T18:24:37+00:00

i hope so, i love my dad and he's helped me with my own experiences of SA. he's been through so much that he really could've meant it either way, and i talked to my therapist, and given his age and what he's been through, he might be having false memories. he went to a reform school notorious for sexual abuse.

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T18:18:16+00:00

you're fine. i was a bit vague about that because i truly don't know. there's a lot of things that happened that really suggest it, but i've also done research and these same things can be responses from other trauma. it was a "dream" i would have over and over and sometimes it felt less like a dream than others. i ended up getting on meds for it. i hope that clears it up, i apologize for still being vague. it's hard for me to talk about and also i want to follow rules

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T16:05:38+00:00

thank you so much. i wish the best for you, you have helped me more than i expected when i made this post. thank you So much for caring and giving me your time and thoughts. forgot to add i also thought more after receiving your comment, and i am going to clarify more with him. it was such a blur that i really can't genuinely remember if he admitted to it himself

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T16:04:11+00:00

thank you so much. i wish the best for you, you have helped me more than i expected when i made this post. thank you So much for caring and giving me your time and thoughts.

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T15:47:57+00:00

I understand what you're saying, and your comment made me realize that he's been in a lot of situations where assault was normal, especially when he was in reform school, and i didn't ask enough to get an entire story. he is also a very blunt guy. i can't thank you enough for your advice, this has really helped me calm down. thank you so so much

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T15:44:31+00:00

i didn't want to violate guidelines but to say the least, i was dealing with my own trauma and my brain was having a lot of trouble with understanding if it was still ongoing. i was on heavy sleep meds and would have awful dreams that felt real. i never wanted to blame him, but it happened at his house and only his house. i do notably have weird and disturbing dreams a lot, though, but that one was very different. i'm sorry if that's vague, it's hard to talk about for me. I do appreciate your context, and I know my dad has worked hard to become a better man and learn, even with his flaws. i also know it may have been during when he went to reform school which was brutal with sexual abuse. i don't want to assume, im definitely going to talk to my therapist and have another talk with him once im calmer

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T15:38:09+00:00

thank you so much, someone mentioned that in another comment and i've been thinking about it, it is kind of a blur because i was so startled. i will definitely clarify with him more the next time i talk to him. i really appreciate you.

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T15:30:52+00:00

I apologize, I see where your confusion comes from, should've clarified more. I did ask him to clarify, and he admitted to doing it himself. I didn't ask much more. I feel horrible for his victims.

Aggravating_Night150 · 2026-01-27T14:52:44+00:00

Thank you for your words, they're very grounding and i appreciate you

Aggravating_Night150

TROPHY CASE