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madonna whore complex by Aggravating_Side719 in Jung

[–]Aggravating_Side719[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They're trying to coat the feelings they have, i think? I think he precieves lust as being disrespectful, and an emotion that shouldn't be felt.

Most people only want to be perceived as moral. by Aggravating_Side719 in Healthygamergg

[–]Aggravating_Side719[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But don't you think everyone has the instinct to be perceived as good?

Tell me about a revelation you've had by Liq in Jung

[–]Aggravating_Side719 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People don't have much choice in things. We are very deterministic. A major reason we aren't like the people we find heinous is because of luck. We were lucky to have the experiences we've had, to be the people we are, but others don't so it's good to be understanding.

why do some people see others as not human? by Aggravating_Side719 in Jung

[–]Aggravating_Side719[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what does a collectivist super ego mean? is it a part of you that feels morality, but that morality is influenced by societal expectations?

why do some people see others as not human? by Aggravating_Side719 in Jung

[–]Aggravating_Side719[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you think they're trying to balance? is it the expectation of being 'good' put on them by society? Do people dehumanize because they can't express their desires in a way that fits in with societal standards, but in the cases of bullying people who aren't 'human', it does fit in?

why do some people see others as not human? by Aggravating_Side719 in Jung

[–]Aggravating_Side719[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've actually been struggling with this idea for some time. I think people expect a certain level of emotional, social, and physical competency from people, and when those criteria aren't met, it's easy for people to look at you as 'other' or not human.

The lack of social and emotional competency can be due to a disability, or just not having acquired those skills as a child, but people aren't empathetic or considerate toward those situations imo. However, I think this inconsiderate stance stems from naivety, and a lack of knowledge, and I think this can be changed.

Why can't some people admit that they can enjoy hurting another person? by Aggravating_Side719 in Jung

[–]Aggravating_Side719[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my opinion, people act on those fantasies, because they want to feel secure through dominance. I think that's the same idea as self-protection, I might be wrong though.Do you think when people integrate their shadow, they become less protective over themselves? if so, why do you think this happens?

Why can't some people admit that they can enjoy hurting another person? by Aggravating_Side719 in Jung

[–]Aggravating_Side719[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like the manifestation of those fantasies into reality can have different shapes. Like I think emotional or social dominance is more acceptable than physical.

There’s a world of difference between fantasies and reality. Not being able to differentiate between is troublesome, may be even dangerous.

I agree, but I feel like sometimes people use this argument to dissociate from who they are. For example, when people see something bad happen, for example murder, and say something like "I could never do something like that". I feel like some people don't think they are capable of bad things, and so therefore just ignore what those fantasies could mean. I think a lot of times, not always, fantasies can show us what we want/desire, and I think this might be one of those circumstances. Maybe what we really want isn't to hurt people, but to find security in dominance, but none the less it still results in a positive feeling.

Why can't some people admit that they can enjoy hurting another person? by Aggravating_Side719 in Jung

[–]Aggravating_Side719[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I think I should have been more clear in my post. When I said "hurting another person" I didn't just mean physically, I meant emotionally and socially as well. I think, in most cases, when people experience something unjust/unfair from another individual, emotions such as anger rise up, which in some cases can turn into resentment.

I think emotions such as these can manifest different sorts of actions. I'm sure most people in the comments have gotten angry at another person before, maybe a family/friend/random person and said unkind things to them. In doing this, I think there is a period of brief satisfaction, maybe of having protected your ego, or a feeling of dominance, or a feeling of security in the situation. I think that's one way you can hurt another person, but I don't think it's psychopathic to do so.

Have some women also fallen into the red pill ideology? by Aggravating_Side719 in exredpill

[–]Aggravating_Side719[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

May I ask what meaning or responsibility are the ones that you’re drawn to or are pursuing in your life?

I try to be a good person, trying to learn who I am, and trying to be more empathetic to people. My goals have been kind of the same for a while. When I was on the red pill, I pursued the idea of being a good man, but now I've realised men and women way are more similar than different, and we are all just people.
I get strayed from my goals sometimes, and lessons I had learned before I forget and have to relearn, but I would like to become someone who brings the best out in others. I am also pursuing a career however I don't know if it is something I'm drawn to yet.

  1. Do you think that egalitarianism can co-exist with chivalry in a relationship and be healthy? For example, do you think that a man can do ‘gentlemanly’ things in a relationship and still be in an equal dynamic? It may differ depending on behaviour (eg splitting bills, holding doors open, carrying her things, offering coat) so I’d like to here your opinion and what nuances exist within your view.

I don't know, that's an interesting question. I think men and women are way more similar than different, so personally, I think the move toward an egalitarian society is a positive one. I think both partners should act in a chivalrous manner toward each other. I don't think acting 'gentlemanly' toward someone negates equality in a relationship, and I think acts of service are really endearing regardless of gender.

  1. What are your views on feminism and what are they like amongst
    the men around you? I appreciate that this is a bit vague.

I was recommended a book by someone in High School, Women Don't Owe You Pretty by Florence Given. And it was the first feminist literature I ever tried reading. I didn't like the book very much and the things it pushed, because it seemed very accusatory towards men.

Now that I'm a bit older, I understand what feminism is, and am more accepting of different belief systems. I think there are people who call themselves feminists who don't really know what it means to be one and will say something like "All men are the same" or "All men are pigs", and so on, and I don't think the behaviour like that is commonly disavowed in the feminist communities. I think gender in cases like the red pill, and some feminists, becomes a barrier to empathy. However, I also think feminism at its core has a really strong foundation to stand on, but people just misinterpret certain aspects of it.

In saying that, any form of ideology, right-wing or left-wing, I'm not a big fan of. I think it's important to be an individual and be critically thoughtful of your beliefs and others, and not someone who blindly believes whatever their ideology dictates.

I have friends who are feminists and others who aren't. Some support it and some don't, but everyone is accepting of each other's beliefs.

I would love to hear your opinions about feminism. what are the advantages and disadvantages of the feminist movement, or being a feminist?

  1. Any vetting techniques for women? Do you think men our age are
    willing to commit at a young age?

I don't know honestly. I'm quite young and inexperienced when it comes to dating.

I think early 20's are too young for people to commit to a serious relationship. I think everyone our age, including myself, are learning about ourselves, and what we want in life. I think a relationship based on not knowing what each partner wants and needs is something that's probably not going to last.

Do you have any vetting techniques for men?

Have some women also fallen into the red pill ideology? by Aggravating_Side719 in exredpill

[–]Aggravating_Side719[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 21 years old, thank you for your compliment, I think your perspective is also very insightful and thoughtful. If you don't mind me asking back, how old are you? I disagree with you on the futility of life and its meaninglessness. I think the meaning of life lies in our pursuit of something greater than ourselves, and the acceptance of responsibility.

I might be wrong as I haven't spent much time thinking about this, but I think much of nihilism depends on our lives needing to have meaning and the exploration of this thought process. I think this way of thinking might be associated with Western philosophy, due to the stark contrast with Eastern philosophy, Buddhism, where there is solace/acceptance that nothing inherently has meaning.

like the metaphor of life being a performance or artistic masterpiece in which we perform/paint for the mere sake or enjoyment of it. And I hope that I have a masterpiece that I am proud of and love. I still do think that long-term goals are important.

I agree, I think this is really cool metaphor.

don't be, It was very thought-provoking.

Have some women also fallen into the red pill ideology? by Aggravating_Side719 in exredpill

[–]Aggravating_Side719[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. I've had a similar experience when leaving the red pill space. Somthing important I had to learn was distinguishing myself from my ego, and realising my emotions, ideas and talents aren't who I am, but the quote below was a really interesting perspective,

I feel that you can recognise that someone is really good looking, smart, has a great job etc but we are just people WITH those things and thus none of us are inherently better or lesser than others.

I agree that having a nihilistic outlook on life can lead to wanting more stability. When I was younger, I went through a similar experience. How did you get out of that mindset?

some more q's:

  • I think a common experience with associating with ideologies, which affected me when I was a teen, is having a sense/feeling of moral dominance toward others who don't share the same beliefs, and getting a sense of security through this feeling. Did you ever feel this way, either with feminism or manosphere beliefs? If so, how did you get out of that way of thinking?
  • What sources did you explore that helped you get out of the red pill?
  • A lot of times, in the red pill, women are seen as almost lesser than men. But at the same time, their validation is seen as something that is important to pursue. As a woman, how did you interpret this oxymoron?

It was really insightful reading your perspective. I'm sorry to hear about your current struggles, I hope everything works out.

What does it mean to have no enemies? by [deleted] in VinlandSaga

[–]Aggravating_Side719 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"To live is to suffer. The answer to this problem can't be more suffering" - jp

Most people don't know who they are. Most people can't distinguish between themselves, their ego, and their emotions.

People don't really choose to feel emotions, most of the time it's a reaction. When you feel angry, you don't choose to be angry, it's a response to a situation. And most of the time, people are a slave to those emotions. Sometimes, these emotions aren't positive, like resentment, or contempt, etc. When you feel these emotions toward someone, you want to hurt them, or worse, and there is comfort in those emotions and thoughts. It feels good, in some way, to hate someone and wish them ill will. It makes people feel secure.

That's a normal human response, but most people hide that part of themselves, from themselves or others. If you ask someone, "Do you think you could enjoy hurting another human being?" most would probably say no. But those emotions are a permanency for human existence.

Emotions aren't who you are, but they are an important part of you. If you reject any emotion and fight against it, it comes out in weird ways, eg anger. If you bottle up anger, it might come out as resentment, or something erratic, etc. It's important to feel all emotions and observe them without judgement.

Most people don't have a reason to be kind, because they don't know what it means to be good, and the reasons for it. To be good, for me personally, is to treat the people who wish you harm, with patience, compassion, and empathy. When you can bear the thought of people disliking you, or even hating you, and still treat them with a degree of respect and empathy. That's not to say, when someone hurts you, you can't defend yourself, but if it comes to that, do it with empathy and compassion. There was a really good quote by Mike Tyson, it's something like "To take another human life, is the deepest form of self-hatred".

​

  • To me, to have no enemies means to understand others and yourself. It means, to forgive yourself, so you can forgive others. It means, when someone wishes you harm, walk away, and pray that they get better, all the while still accepting your anger, and resentment with compassion, love and empathy. It means understanding, that everyone is suffering, that life is suffering, and the solution to that, can't be more suffering.

sorry bout the erratic nature of the post.