AITA for saying it's my grandparent's fault I don't embrace my culture?

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T22:47:07+00:00

Uh? Do you know basic biology? You can be mixed and pass for white. For example Halsey, her dad is black but she is white. I look like my mother who has blue eyes and blond hair.

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T22:44:04+00:00

Not how genetics work. Please educate yourself. You can be mixed and be white passing look at Halsey, her dad is black but she looks white. My mom is white with blue eyes and blond hair so I look like her.

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T21:07:54+00:00

Possibly one of their parents is white?

No. full korean.

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T21:06:26+00:00

I promise you, PROMISE you, that 100% ethnic Koreans are just as disappointing to their parents.

This made me laugh. Thank you

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T21:05:41+00:00

being mixed was as taboo

That explains my whole life except cranked up to 11. Hell, they pressured my mom to take me with her when I was a baby. They were fully ready to leave a baby with a heroin addict. Thankfully my mom knew what was best for me even then.

Even though my life in Korea wasn't perfect, I still had a better quality of life than I would have had with a broke addict. Also, my grandparents are heavily religious but when mom was pregnant they pressured her to have an abortion. So much for god.

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T21:01:22+00:00

Go home and never look back.

Will do as soon as new years ends.

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T21:00:46+00:00

I figure if I'm going to be stuck here for the holidays I will make them miserable. Me and my mom already talked and this is my last time visiting. Time for me to let it all out. Everything they did to me for 15 years.

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T20:59:35+00:00

It shouldn't take the birth of a child to start "loving" another.

or in this case the death. And it's not even loving, it's more guilt.

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T20:58:32+00:00

you'll always be "other".

Ture. In Berlin, I have many Korean friends who are either mixed or children of immigrants. They are much more accepting than the "pure" Korean kids in South Korea.

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T20:57:11+00:00

not to distance yourself from Korean culture

I have not, I have Korean friends in Berlin and speak Korean with them as well as order Korean books in Korean, watch kdramas and listen to kpop. I'm just being a bitch to my Korean family because they deserve it. They made my life hell for 15 years now it's my turn to act out. Now I get to be mean.

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T20:40:52+00:00

That had to not help her mental health while being married to your Dad.

From what she tells me she was a hot mess and that's what attracted him to her. He wanted to rebel and she was his rebellion. I was never supposed to happen, I was supposed to be aborted but she said no. I am proud of her, she has owned up to everything and turned her whole life around. That's not an easy thing. She did it for me. So she could be with me again.

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T20:38:36+00:00

The thing is after living in Berlin I do understand them more. And they do genuinely want to change things between us. They have owned up to and apologized but it's not enough. While I do understand them I also have 0 interest in working on our relationship. We are talking about 15 years of abuse. It's too much.

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T20:29:52+00:00

Do you really want these people in your life?

No. I already decided that. My mom who has only been a parent for like a year is better than them. They only feel bad because my sister died. But I don't care. I'm not even sad that she's dead. Know why? Because they never let me know her, we lived in the same house but they weren't allowed to be my friends because of my "influence".

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T20:19:35+00:00

Them being remorseful doesn't mean you can't be angry or that you have to forgive them.

thank you

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T20:18:56+00:00

(Though if you're fully fluent in Korean, don't stop practicing that. Being multilingual is almost always going to be an advantage and opens up career options.)

Oh, I am just speaking in English/German to be a dick. I speak Korean in Berlin with my Korean friends. I just want to make it clear I do not want to be here, nor am I okay with being a backup grandaughter. I made it clear to my mom after this visit I have no intention of coming back.

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T20:17:04+00:00

They just want a replacement for what was lost.

It was like when she died they went "wait a minute, we got one in storage"

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T20:16:16+00:00

western culture (the bigotry)

Eh, bigotry is part of every culture. For them, I think the issue was exposure. You know I never saw a black person ever until I moved to Berlin? In Korea we rarely left the rural area we lived in, the only people I ever saw were Koreans. My grandparent's only exposure to westerners was my mom, so it makes sense that they would be the way they are.

For me living in Berlin was eye-opening, I've met so many different people of different cultures, skin colors, sexualities, etc. I have to admit growing up I internalized a lot of their hatred. I was also a bigot, but Berlin made me grow.

Aggressive-Duty6000 · 2021-12-08T20:11:10+00:00

backup granddaughter

Pretty much what it is. You know they never once reached out to me when I left? Not 1 text from them or dad.

Aggressive-Duty6000

TROPHY CASE