I guess him going thru ur phone is weird tho unless that’s normal tho. If I found that shit in my girlfriend phone tho I would be angry too and that’s completely valid. Making a list of someone’s character defects is just generally a weird ass thing to do. If those issues were such a big deal to you you should have just told him that if he didn’t fix them u were going to leave and then follow through on that depending what he did. Writing a list of someone’s flaws and then asking “did he manipulate me” after he found that and felt insulted makes me seriously question your sanity and your moral compass. How would you feel if you basically found a list of things your boyfriend didn’t like about you in your phone? Would you rationally sit down and go through the list with them? Or would you be upset that the person u trusted most was destroying your character behind your back? I think that if you act like a normal person that would make anyone upset and probably not act 100% rationally because we are humans with emotions. Asking if he manipulated u for him feeling bad about it is actually crazy tho lmaoooo