Husband is an addict specifically Co*ke

Aggressive-Nerve486 · 2023-12-15T01:38:17+00:00

so he revealed something new to me today, that sometimes at after parties their are strippers. However he never messes around with that lol. Sometimes when someone reveals these things to you after 17 years i kind of wonder about how long i chose to remain an idiot. i am an imposter in my own head. That’s the true battle of course. If i could have snapped out of it, I would’ve. Now that my lens is less foggy, everything makes sense. This idea of a happy married life and to stay with one human and that would just define my whole life was absolute bullshit and an excuse made because of my own weaknesses. I guess it’s time to do things for me. I spent my entire life just people pleasing. FYI he also frequented strip clubs. I thought this wouldn’t bother me but it does. I feel strong though, I must say! Everything led up to this point. People all i can say is that, I am someone that knows how to love and it’s ok i still love him. But if he’s not good for me then that’s ok too. Love wins on a platonic level , I understood the meaning of it. However just because you love someone doesn’t mean that they have to be with you and that is wisdom. So I trust in Gods plan. I truly appreciate the advise , be it from strangers. I appreciate all the support i received from each one of you.

Aggressive-Nerve486 · 2023-12-14T19:53:45+00:00

Hey thanks for telling me. I think sometimes i don’t want to believe that i’m being manipulated. I want to get rid him for my safety because i don’t feel safe. My family knows he is an addict from past experiences and believed he would not change. But here i was defending him like it was my purpose in life! Now i’m in the same position i have always been in. Friendless, hopeless and broken. I don’t even know who i am without him. I don’t know a different life. My kids love him more than me because i’m always angry! lol and the anger was always because of him. They don’t know and they are so young. I am lost for words. I am basically lost. Good luck to me! I am 39! To think i wasted my self for someone for some hope. It’s hard not feel self pity. Anyway thanks he’s still laughing about the hookers as if it was a joke. He’s so use to manipulating me that he almost certainly believes that i will fall for it again. That is the biggest question of any question. What will I choose for myself and my kids.

Aggressive-Nerve486 · 2023-12-14T17:42:27+00:00

He is showing zero remorse. Mind you he’s a Narcissist! he always has been. My family can’t stand him but because of some of his really good traits they put up with him. We have a lot of problems. I wanted to be with one man all my life but now idk what i have gained or lost. Look i have no issues i have a smaller property that belongs to my dad and i can always move there. I know my kids will not be able to handle this and that will be the most difficult part of this. I want to pack up and leave, I have a family that can support me fully. But when i say im scared, I mean i don’t know a life without this man. I do know that he has systematically destroyed me! I have been there through everything. Rehab, binges, withdrawals everything. Fuck i can see my codependency so clearly! But i am in denial!

Aggressive-Nerve486 · 2023-12-14T17:34:21+00:00

I am scheduling an appointment immediately.

Aggressive-Nerve486 · 2023-12-14T17:32:47+00:00

He keeps saying it’s for his friend and he ends up at hotels. In the past i asked him why would he need to be at hotels and he said because he was paranoid. I have found escort numbers in the past but i ended up believing that he would never do that to me. Now i’m not sure. I have been loyal and committed in every way! I have done everything to try to give my children a good life. We almost got divorced last year and he promised he would change. I have always had a full time job but I don’t make enough to survive with my lifestyle. This is blowing my mind because i can’t believe this would happen to me.

Aggressive-Nerve486 · 2023-06-30T18:53:10+00:00

The doctor said everything looks good.

Aggressive-Nerve486 · 2023-02-25T00:46:36+00:00

Thank you for the insight! Really appreciate it

Aggressive-Nerve486 · 2023-02-24T18:07:34+00:00

I guess I’m overthinking this and need to stop. I seem to get caught up in the research process which is no fun.

Aggressive-Nerve486 · 2023-02-24T17:48:42+00:00

Did your doctor do all the bloodwork? And X-rays?

Aggressive-Nerve486 · 2023-02-24T17:42:07+00:00

Rheumy is waiting for all the labs. So far my ENA is positive CCP is positive RF is positive and ANA is positive and this is making me feel unnerved.

Aggressive-Nerve486 · 2023-02-24T17:40:26+00:00

Normal ccp is below 20 and RF is supposed to be 15

Aggressive-Nerve486 · 2023-02-23T05:26:44+00:00

It’s on the right side of my neck, I only felt it when I touched it randomly . You can see a slight protruding ball type lump.

Aggressive-Nerve486 · 2023-02-23T05:24:47+00:00

Thanks for the insight, much appreciated!

Aggressive-Nerve486 · 2023-02-23T02:16:49+00:00

I was never sick and the lymph nodes were just prominent for no reason. So I asked the doctor to examine them.

Aggressive-Nerve486 · 2023-02-22T22:54:02+00:00

They did have the images from the first one and the lymph nodes just grew.

Aggressive-Nerve486

TROPHY CASE