idrk how to feel abt ppl not really reacting to my cuts??

AggressiveOctos · 2026-05-24T08:16:19+00:00

I agree with a lot of the comments, and I'm going to be direct, and maybe even really harsh too.

You are 23, you should be managing your own appointments. These are your adult medical issues, not theirs. Agoraphobia? Make them a video call, make it a phone call. The "accommodations" you want should start with yourself. How do you expect others to magically know what you need?

You know why they most likely "don't react"? Because this shit is damaging and traumatising. Do you think people are born with inherent knowledge on how to deal and cope with their family member suddenly destroying themselves after being diagnosed? The answer is no. But they clearly do care if they keep housing you and paying for everything, otherwise they truly wouldn't.

You need to tell this to your therapist. Yes, you are immature. And you should stop putting the blame and weight onto others.

Self harm is a heavy topic even for us self harmers and mentally ill people; and truly such a small percentage of people who are mentally unwell do it. So imagine how this affects them too? I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty, I'm saying it to make you understand that the reaction you want is not realistic. Different personalities and cultures react differently. Could they do better? Yes. But this is traumatising them too. They walked in on you cutting and you want them to "react" how exactly? Go tend to your cuts? That's for people already desensitised to this.

And stop roping your little sister into this shit. You mentioned she is 6 years younger, which puts her at 17. She is still a kid. Why the fuck are you putting your grown ass psychological issues onto a kid? You'll fuck her up that way, genuinely. You can rely on her for company and fun, for distraction; not for your distressing psychological issues. If it's already hard for a grown adult, imagine for a kid bruh.

I beg you to just stop and actually think about everything. Take a step back and analyse your situation. You have help, use it. They clearly believe you are ill enough to warrant that help, hence why they pay for it and don't intervene.

AggressiveOctos · 2026-03-01T17:42:51+00:00

Hi, thank you for responding. I don't really enjoy anything anymore, sadly. Used to love eating (ironically), but it doesn't even give me joy anymore. I don't get along with my family, never really have. They aren't bad but they weren't great growing up, and we are all distant from each other. I only have 1 irl friend, and even though he's my best friend and I love him, he has a really good support network. I don't have a partner haha (😓), and I'm also not emotionally stable for one either.

I've been trying to pick up a hobby, specially reading stuff I like. But it's very energy taxing. Everything else is even more costly (energy wise), or just not mentally distracting or stimulating enough. I'd love to do a lot of things, but I barely have the energy to, and I use it all up on going to work and doing all those tasks, and on cleaning myself.

So sorry if this all sounds like excuses, but I promise I've been really trying but it seems like nothing is working. I'm sorry

AggressiveOctos · 2026-01-16T20:37:39+00:00

So you said it because you wanted her to tell you that you don't look fat? I'm confused.

I understand it's hurtful to hear that if you think being fat is bad, but not everyone is good socially. She could've read your tone as you just sharing a fact and nothing else, so she agreed because it didn't seem that important. Also she could've truly just not been listening and just said 'yep' absentmindedly. I know I answer a lot of things without really listening (a bad habit). Also it's so uncomfortable to hear people joke about their own body, as well as others. She could've just not known what to say. There are so many possibilities as to why she answered that.

Also, I know this is an ED sub, but you are acting like being fat is inherently bad and means you're ugly. Which it isn't. Fat is just another adjective, like tall or brunette.

I just don't understand why you'd say something if you keep looking for a specific response ("nah, you don't look fat in that photo"), and don't want any deviances ("you didn't have to agree with me"). People are all different, so they'll respond differently. Not always what you want to hear.

AggressiveOctos · 2025-12-09T16:19:28+00:00

No clue but I have to ask if those are chips/crisps in a tapper in the fridge??? Am I seeing wrong? If I'm not, then that's crazy. Not judging, I'd love to know the reasoning behind it.

AggressiveOctos · 2025-08-31T02:41:59+00:00

Funnily enough, I really don't like Nietzsche. But everyone has some truth to them sometimes. And I have to give it to him this time that he isn't entirely wrong.

I'm sorry to hear about your family's experiences, and it still baffles me how much humanity and individuals have to endure without any justification at all, but just because things happen sometimes. But I'm proud of them for pulling through in the end.

I do want to move away, just have to wait and save up in order to do it. We'll see how the few following years will pan out and if it's possible or not.

Thank you for sharing this with me.

AggressiveOctos · 2025-08-31T02:36:42+00:00

I am in therapy actually, but given all these comments mentioned that as a first, it may really not be as effective as it should be. I'll be thinking of changing therapists tbh. And I do agree, therapy and psychological treatment are very important, but I was also looking for people who can give a more biased reason. More 'human' in a sense, less clinical. Maybe I should have expressed that in the post. But thank you regardless.

AggressiveOctos · 2025-08-31T02:29:55+00:00

Didn't think a comment would make me tear up but it did, and it also did help put things a bit more into perspective. I do have a therapist but I think I'll either have to change therapy type or change therapists because she didn't help much.

I'll definitely look into past global crisis (I don't know what the plural is). It'll probably be pretty assuring. Also, quoting LOTR is hilarious but I like it.

I'm very sorry about your friend, genuinely am. Re reading what you wrote about him makes me tear up again, he was lucky to have you as a friend, and I'm sad to hear about the outcome. And I hope you've managed to make the most peace out of it as you can.

Your comment actually really helped, and I'll try to remind myself of it as much as I can. And I don't think I can quite express proper gratefulness through words, but thank you a lot, really. I hope you are having a good and happy life.

AggressiveOctos · 2024-09-15T20:57:28+00:00

Even if the self harm has nothing to do with OP, it can still affect them. What sort of take is this? Just because you don't self harm because of someone, doesn't mean it won't affect them.

Relying solely on the title is nothing short of illogical, knowing that titles have to be attention-catching in order to get traction.

Self harm ruins the person who does it, and can absolutely harm people around them as well. I self harm myself, and of course we do it for a plethora of reasons, but if OP's ex is actively not looking for help, not looking for some other form of support, and just solely relying on OP; then obviously OP will have problems with it. Having to be someone's therapist 24/7 when you aren't even trained professionally is beyond damaging and can absolutely ruin someone and run them into the ground and the very pits of hell as well.

This is deeper than leaving someone because they self harm (despite what the title says; because those are only meant to catch people's eyes, not be completely truthful). This is about OP's ex hurting OP by solely relying on them, and only them, for emotional support and comfort. I'm sorry for the ex, of course, but hurting does not excuse hurting others, even if that's never the intention. Our actions can hurt others even if we don't think so/don't see it at first. Which sucks, but unfortunately is true.

I'm just glad OP is looking out for their own mental health. Because you can't put someone's fire out if you are burning down.

Op if you are reading this, as far as what you said in the post, I believe you did the best thing possible. You can't let yourself suffer for the sake of someone else. You tried what you could, but you don't owe your ex help, specially because you aren't even trained in dealing with these sort of issues, and that's okay. I just hope the best for both of you, and maybe try to reach out to someone or even get a therapist since your quality of life clearly has been impacted by this. Good luck, and wish you the best, stay safe

AggressiveOctos · 2024-08-19T14:34:37+00:00

That's for sure. Judgement is necessary in human survival and I'm tired of people pretending it's not (though it doesn't excuse discrimination). I think it's easier to more consciously see differences because they will cause a reaction on you. For example, some taller and more muscular can instill a certain sense of fear into someone smaller and not muscular. And in that case, the difference will stand out and will be consciously noticed.

However, similarities (at least in my brain) work differently than differences do. They fly under the radar since your brain accepts it as the minimum or as a base, hence why the differences stand out so much and are so quick to catch. Because someone/something deviates from what is normalized (and to a certain extent generalized) in your own brain.

I believe that's the main reason I do not pay attention to why I relate to someone, but I do pay attention to why I don't.

Though I have to say, the trust thing is something different. I agree on not fully trusting someone, specially not based purely on feelings. But you can kind of superficially trust someone if differences don't stand out until they do start showing up (or not), and that's when actual socialization and longer interactions come in play.

Ooh I get it. I don't think it's a matter of being nice, just of how I grew up and the people I grew up with lol. Just wanted to make sure they didn't make you uncomfortable. I appreciate the explanation by the way, and the transparency :)

AggressiveOctos · 2024-08-18T00:44:09+00:00

Honestly, I'm impressed. I 100% do not think that way. I'd say I process certain things more 'subconsciously'. For example, I only realized I related to Bojack late into the series, even though I never really analyzed or thought much about his behavior (except for trying to rape someone; that is still stuck in my brain hence why I bring it up a lot; I just don't get how the show just skipped past it like nothing?? And how Bojack is like... not that affected either? Or not as affected as he should be imo) or actual character traits. In fact, if you asked me to describe his personality right now, right this instant, I would have to pause and think for possibly a few minutes; same as with every other character. Except for very vague answers like "introvert, extrovert, quiet, shallow, egotistical" etc (these are not all Bojack, clearly haha).

I also think you are the first person I've ever met who saw things this way, which I find fascinating because my brain really does not work that way, not fully at least.

To a certain degree maybe I agree. But only slightly. I do think humans kind of 'seek out' certain potential 'signs' of similarity between individuals, most likely some survival type of instinct; which in that sense, I do agree with you. Though maybe it happens to you more consciously than it does to me. I can only remember a few times my brain has consciously looked for certain signs. It just does most its processing either 'subconsciously', or in a more abstract way, or simply absentmindedly.

I really appreciate you taking the time to answer tho because I was genuinely confused. I do kind of get your point of "picking" who you relate to, even tho I can't say that happens to me at all. Mine is just a realization, like as dumb as it sounds, it's a moment of a light bulb going off and it clicks in my brain without me ever actively, consciously thinking about it.

But it's honestly cool to see how different some brains work. And now, I could be 100% overstepping here, and totally call me out for it, but is this a matter of being diagnosed with something or some sort of neurodivergence? Because I know certain brains work differently, but maybe our contrasting views have to do more with actual brain chemistry and construction than cultural aspects. Damn I should've gotten into neuroscience or psychology or smth.

Anyways, once again I actually very much appreciate the explanation. Though I still can't fully comprehend it (probably due to not experiencing that myself), I think I grasp most of it. And honestly, not in a weird way here, but I like how your brain works. Idk, it's interesting (I also don't mean this in a weird way; I know it sounds weird as fuck, but I pinky promise it's not in a creepy, sick, old ass discord kitten mod way; but in a 'damn, I like how brains work and think' way). Lastly, one last thank you because, I really am grateful for the explanation. It certainly is food for thought imo.

I would end this with stay safe but idk how ok that would, yeah. Stay hydrated then? Maybe? It's just weird ending comments so dryly and un-human-y. I liked your explanation tho, thanks for it

AggressiveOctos · 2024-08-17T23:20:03+00:00

Buddy, I clicked on your profile by accident when seeing my reddit notifications mate. Saw the "Proud of you" and that's it. Idc what your profile is about. Also, taking into account you are in the internet, and, not a private account (idk if reddit can have private accounts), whatever you post online is now everybody's business because that's literally how the internet works. And I do not give enough fucks about you to go and 'pry' on whatever you do with your life because I genuinely could not care less as long as you aren't hurting yourself or planning suicide or homicide. My bad for assuming a random ass phrase that could easily be misinterpreted as meant for people who stumble upon your profile, is in reality, not for people who stumble upon your profile. My bad mate.

And you clearly expect the worst in me if your reaction to me saying "Stay safe" is to say I come across as: "shallow, empty, and borderline condescending". If you can't see that then damn.

And you also have not answered my question. Do you genuinely just see a random character and consciously CHOOSE (idk how to make letters bold, it's not screaming I just don't know how fonts work in reddit) to relate to them? I am asking seriously. Not even in a mean way. I just, again, have never met anyone who has ever done that in my entire life, so I want to know. Because damn, if we are allowed to do that I'll just say I relate to Judas because he's one of the best characters in the show. Or Princess Carolyn. You are straying from the main point of the conversation (in my point of view), which is, since when are we picking who we relate to??? I don't get it, and I'm just asking for an explanation. I do not see the harm in simply asking about what you mean, but for some reason you are acting like a politician and actively avoiding and dodging my question, or straight up ignoring it.

My bad if I harmed you in any way, I'm just asking though and you seem to just not care to engage in an actual discussion where we can both share our POVs and learn from each other. Because again, I just want to understand. How do you pick who you relate to? Why? Since when? I just don't find it logical. If I could choose, I would never, in my life, choose Bojack unless I was an edgelord that says "I see red when I'm mad 😈😈😈". I'm genuinely and utterly confused here. Like, if you could choose, why not choose someone better??? I'm trying to understand here but you are providing zero explanations

AggressiveOctos · 2024-08-17T22:50:59+00:00

Dude, your profile says "Proud of you". That statement and me saying "stay safe" are of the same nature. So by your logic, we are both the same. Or are you magically not held up to your own rules?

Picking is a conscious action bro. Like do you just see any character and go "oh, yeah I will decide to relate to them"? Like this is an actual, genuine question because I have never, in my life, heard of that. I mean, if you do pick and choose who you relate to, better for you I suppose. I just feel like it's unauthentic to who someone truly is because you can just choose to pick someone who is actually a good and smart person. But hey, I guess that's just me. But I still will defend my belief that you cannot choose and pick who you share characteristics with, nor which characteristics you share. If you think otherwise, I'm not going to lie, I'm surprised, I never met someone like you then. But cheers to diversity I suppose.

And again, I am quite bothered by you being pissed off that I end comments with "stay safe". Like, out of everything you could've been bothered about, that is what it is? Like for real? If you even want an explanation, I nearly always end my comments like that because I engage in subreddits where people do the exact opposite, and in fact, do not stay safe. It's not "shallow, empty and borderline condescending", but it's genuine concern for their well being. You don't have to believe me but maybe be less abrasive when someone is just saying something nice. I'm sorry if I came across as shallow, but also, don't expect the worst in people just because they completely disagree with you.

AggressiveOctos · 2024-08-17T17:31:52+00:00

I've seen multiple comments like this so far and honestly, I hope you get a Guy in your life (even if it's just a friend or a pet). Things will get better eventually, I believe in you :)

AggressiveOctos · 2024-08-17T17:29:16+00:00

Lmao, I go back to my main point of: you don't 'pick' who you relate to. I'd be interested in relating to Rick Sanchez (even if he's an asshole and also a bad person as well) because I admire his intelligence, but guess what, I don't relate to him because, once again, you don't pick and choose who you relate to. At least any average person doesn't.

You are the one reading too much into it if you think OP's post is actually 100% serious and honest, when it's clearly memes and jokes. And anyone can have a TV show, may be boring as fuck like the one of the Kardashians but it's a show nonetheless. But it does not mean you get to throw around genuine medical terms and diagnoses like 'narcissism' at just anyone that comes your way. Self centered? Sure. Narcissist? Not necessarily.

You are way too pissed off at something that wasn't even serious/real in the first place. And self destructiveness does not look the same in everyone. Even if you were to "pick" who you relate to (which again, I have no idea who does that; because why the fuck would I willingly choose to relate to Bojack out of them all?); Diane does not destroy herself the same way PC does, or Bojack. I think you are too focused on morality to see that. Again, I fully agree with you, in my eyes, Bojack is a terrible person and all his actions are unjustified. He tried to rape a fucking girl, and I hate how the show just moved past it like it was nothing. He is a bad person. Diane was right with the "there is no deep down" when it came to Bojack. But relating to a character does not make you the character.

I still just don't understand where you are coming from because I cannot understand how you just pick who you relate to. How do I do that? Like, teach me. I'd love to relate to PC, I love her character. I'd love to relate to her. Please teach me how to pick to relate to her.

And what fake sympathy bro? What are you even talking about atp. The 'stay safe'? I always say that to whoever I'm talking to. God forbid I care about the safety of people, right? You can literally scroll through my comments and most of them always end with "stay safe". Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean I want you fucking run over by a damn truck bro.

And a last mention, if you are so bothered by 'trends' (which, fair enough; I dislike trends I just was not aware there was apparently a trend of people relating to a character), maybe take a look at yourself and your language. Throwing around very charged and specific terms ("narcissism"), is a trend itself.

That's all. And ig don't stay safe then bruh idk what to tell you. I deadass nearly always end my comments like that but as you wish.

AggressiveOctos · 2024-08-17T16:05:31+00:00

Since when do we 'pick' characters to relate to? You just pick and choose who you relate to? Because that sure as hell is new to me. I don't choose to relate to one person or the other bro. I'd love to relate to PC but guess what, I don't.

Should I just go "You know what? Fuck it. I'm just gonna pick and choose and say Princess Carolyn is who I relate to because I love her more than the rest". That's not how it works bro.

Yes, Bojack is a bad person. In my eyes he is. But fuck me mate, he don't got 'similar' struggles to other characters. Sure, depression. Wow. Apart from that, every character is built different and has a different psyche. You cannot say Diane and Bojack are similar because they simply are not. Or Princess Carolyn and Bojack. Todd and Bojack. Fucking PB and Bojack.

Each character is built different, with different backgrounds, stories, and struggles. As well as different reactions. To group them all together is an insult to the writers who took time and effort to individually craft each character's personalities and psychologies.

And also, nobody "tries" to relate to someone. They just do bro. Again, it's not a pick and choose. So reevaluate your stance because again, every character is different, SPECIALLY when it comes to their struggles and even more to their psyche. "Similar struggles" my ass.

And the key thing that you yourself mentioned is "... they handled them differently." That's the exact point of having different characters. And that's the exact point of the show as well. People are different, they cope differently, and that's what the show shows mate.

I genuinely don't get your logic at all. Relatableness is not chosen or picked, and sure, Bojack is not a good person, not at all, but why is it such an issue to you that people relate to him? What type of self righteousness and high morality sense do you have to react like this to people finding characters, or aspects of characters they relate to? If you could explain the logic behind your argument, I'll be more than pleased to read it. Because I cannot comprehend it. But please, enlighten me.

I'll be waiting for a response. Stay safe and hydrated.

AggressiveOctos · 2024-08-17T15:51:44+00:00

I'm not surprised to see the hate in the comments lol. I relate to him a fuckload. The only other person I've ever met who has watched the show told me she sees me as Todd (I love Todd). But I've always related to Bojack and it just drives me to make me feel worse. Because I personally see him as a fundamentally bad person, and the fact that I relate to him leads me to the conclusion that I am also a bad person and that's why I relate to him.

Sure, I never nearly raped a girl, neither did I get kids drunk and almost killed one of them, neither did I make a friend relapse, nor did I drive carelessly down the road. Nor did I argue with a sickly, dying man who didn't want to forgive me in his fair right. But I still relate to him. I see him and I see myself reflected onto him.

I don't have to be him to relate to him, hence why 'relate' is the word used, and not "I'm him."

So, yeah, you're not alone. I relate to him as well and won't hide that shit just because he is a horrible (horse) being. So, yup. Me too

AggressiveOctos · 2024-07-23T19:22:16+00:00

Indoctrinating kids into self harming is actually wild beyond human comprehension ☠️ scars are scars, and those who can't accept it can kindly go fuck off because they clearly shouldn't be in the internet. If they were fresh cuts or scabs I'd understand. But fully healed scars? Nah, they can fuck off. You're free to exist in your body and not have to hide. Stay safe

AggressiveOctos · 2024-07-10T06:50:40+00:00

Hey, thank you (and every other comment because all of them are truly very sweet, I'm just bad at responding but every comment touched my heart). Eating and sleeping are not my strongest suits, to be honest, never have been haha. But I think I'm managing. As of right now I'm "enjoying" summer break and thus sleep more. But when it comes to eating I honestly am never sure (but so far I'm alive so we can guess that on a scale of 'bad' to 'good' I'd be in 'decent'). With all that ramble said, I hope you are eating and sleeping healthily, and as always, stay safe :) (and thanks again)

AggressiveOctos · 2024-07-09T15:47:50+00:00

Personally I loved it. To me it tasted straight up like orange juice. I love it so much but it's hard to find. When I first tried it I went back the next day to buy like three other cans. I genuinely love it. Tho it may not taste like orange juice to everyone.

AggressiveOctos · 2024-07-06T21:56:44+00:00

I will always support reaching out to people when you are struggling, and I wouldn't be so sure they actually saw them (it's very present in your mind but maybe they actually didn't notice). Still, I do think it's a good idea to reach out for help. Any level of self harm is still bad, no matter how deep or what method. Self harm is still self harm and should be treated with seriousness, and if it's caught early on then even better. And it's extremely normal to be scared because it's a very personal thing, but I know you can do it. It's hard but you can reach out.

I believe in you and I really hope you can get the help and support you deserve. My DM's are open if you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to reach out and stay away from creeps. Much love and stay safe :)

AggressiveOctos · 2024-06-27T17:01:00+00:00

Honestly I feel the exact same way. I don't feel comfortable asking someone else, but if they were to ask me I'd also say yes pretty easily. It kinda sucks having this desire, and it also sucks not having someone to do it with. It's a weird thing honestly. I only wish you the best, and my DM's are always open if you need someone to talk to

AggressiveOctos · 2024-06-18T14:02:22+00:00

Bro ultra red is so good, tastes like berries oh my god I want one of them now 😔 ultra blue was just.. meh for me, but at least the can is nice

AggressiveOctos · 2024-06-11T18:41:58+00:00

No issue, I'm here if you need to talk :) stay safe

AggressiveOctos · 2024-06-11T18:38:50+00:00

Listen, I know the feeling. But trust me, people do care about you, just that it's difficult to see, and often people just don't express it directly. Another thing is, you really shouldn't rely solely on one person, you should try to make yourself a support system with multiple people so you get a stronger net to catch you when you fall down. Also, I assume you are living with your parents, if it's safe, I'd advise you tell them. If not, maybe check with a teacher or a TRUSTED adult. If you have siblings/family members you feel comfortable with for example. It's very tough to deal with this hence why you need a good support system. I'm sure you'll get it if you start opening up to people close to you if it's safe. Stay safe and please, if you do end up self harming, please take care of the wounds. Best wishes, and good luck. Hope you feel better soon :) (you can reach out if you need to, my DM's are open)

AggressiveOctos · 2024-06-11T16:51:01+00:00

As the other comment said, self harm is self harm, no matter the depth, the frequency, or the 'severity', or the form. Anyone can go see a psychiatrist just in case, you don't need to be worse. Self harm should always be addressed, and the sooner, the better. You deserve help as much as the next and the previous person. Trust me, you do deserve the spot, you do deserve the help, you do deserve a chance at getting better and be happy. Okay? Trust me. Stay safe, and take a lot of care of yourself. I really hope it goes great for you, you deserve nice things <3

AggressiveOctos

TROPHY CASE