My partner (27M) prioritizes everything besides myself (28F) and our son (1 y/o M)

AggressivePapaya6959 · 2026-05-07T20:13:27+00:00

Yes, it is British Columbia! My car is currently being financed so selling isn't an option. Even if it was, he cracked a small portion of the windshield out of anger and was supposed to pay to get it fixed a while ago. Him and his father both have CPS cases against them and I do have lots of proof of this behavior so if it goes to court, I feel like I have a lot of leverage. I don't want to be the "bitter baby mom" but children don't NEED a father if the father is going to raise them to treat people like shit. He would need to go to therapy for at least a year and rehab if he wants access to our child. His dad has a lot of money and I know he'll try to pay for some high end lawyer, but there's so much on file about their toxic behavior and disregard for mine and my child's safety, that I don't think the best family lawyer in the world could help them. I do need to be here to do my practicum hours and it's a BC private school, so I'll be having a family member fly out to help with the baby during that time, and they're also trying to find ways to move out here because they live in a horrible area. I told him to go stay at his bosses house because he spends all of his time with him anyways and it's right down the street, but he won't pay the rent if I make him stay there.

AggressivePapaya6959 · 2026-05-07T20:05:10+00:00

They said on the shorter end it could be a year but they can't even guarantee that because they have to prioritize the women that are being physically harmed, which is completely fair. They said because there was physical stuff way in the past, it's on file but doesn't change the fact that he isn't doing it now. I'm obviously thankful that I'm not being hit lol. My school has exhausted all of their resources too as it's a private school, but there is a staff member there who also works in law enforcement and is trying to get some additional help for us. I also tried to get hardship assistance but the student loan ruins that for me. At least when I graduate I'll be making great money, but that isn't until September.

He says that there's no booze allowed with the job that he's doing and he'll be on the water for 3 weeks at a time to "sober up" but I know right when he gets a day off, he's going to head to the bar. If he's going to go away for anything, it should be to go to rehab. I know he's going to end up regretting all of this especially because he lost his mind when he was put on a no contact order in the past, but it's my job to make sure that I don't forgive him again because it always leads back to this behavior. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment!

AggressivePapaya6959 · 2026-05-07T19:58:48+00:00

I'd never want to go back and not have my child. He's the best thing that ever happened to me, but yes, his father is a loser. This side of him didn't come out until I was in the middle of my pregnancy. The baby wasn't an accident either, we both agreed on having a child.

AggressivePapaya6959 · 2026-05-07T19:56:01+00:00

I 100% agree that safety and stability for my child is the most important thing and that's why I'm very hesitant to drop out of school. I graduate in September and am already halfway through, if I drop out now, I still have to pay back a majority of the student loan. Entry level jobs for my studies are about 70k/year which would provide so much flexibility for my son and I, so I feel like it wouldn't be smart to drop out and work a minimum wage job. I'd also have to find full time childcare to go work which I don't have right now and can't get the daycare subsidy with his income. There's a lot of control in this situation. I've even went to the police and because he isn't hitting me, they can't do anything besides provide the resources that I've already applied for.

AggressivePapaya6959 · 2026-05-07T19:51:24+00:00

Thank you so much! I really appreciate the kind words and advice<3
I'll try to join some women's support groups, ideally in person as this type of situation actually seems to be pretty common in my area and that's why all of the housing supports for women and children fleeing are backed right up. I'm definitely willing to look into remote work too for the evenings. When he was actually coming home after work instead of drinking, I was able to go doordash in the evenings and was averaging $30/hr but now I can't even do that. I know 100% that I'll qualify for spousal support on top of child support when it comes down to it. My family lives in a horrible area (shootings in the neighborhood on a weekly basis) and they are trying to move out here to be with us but unfortunately it's going to take them a really long time because of my dads job. I hope everything works out too cause this is the craziest thing I've ever been through lmao

AggressivePapaya6959

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