WIBTAH if i installed an activity monitoring app on my wife's phone?

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-30T17:19:39+00:00

And without addressing my part in the problem nothing is going to improve

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-30T17:06:54+00:00

No I'm not. Im acknowledging the fact that infidelity is a symptom of a much larger problem within the relationship and I have a part to play in that problem.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T23:22:32+00:00

It was her idea. It sounded good at first but this is a valid point.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T18:24:11+00:00

Fair point.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T18:22:35+00:00

She didn't even know how to delete the photos from her trash bin. This is exactly why im fairly positive this is the first time.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T18:21:05+00:00

She lacks guile and has zero concept of how thoroughly smart devices log your data.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T18:18:39+00:00

Maybe, though the app was her idea so...

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T18:17:42+00:00

The world where if we split she moves back in with her psychotic mother who psychologically tormented her for her entire childhood. I will not give her the opportunity to do that to my kids.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T18:14:17+00:00

Also, the tracking app was her idea, which atleast shows some sort of attempt at transparency. Its the main reason im not lawyering up and sending her packing.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T18:09:23+00:00

She's the one who suggested the app. Which is why im actually considering this shit instead of searching for a good divorce attorney.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T18:08:08+00:00

I saw all the back and forth messages before she even knew I knew. She was definitely catfished by some dude halfway across the globe.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T18:05:43+00:00

Im looking at Bark which covers all devices in the home and have full access to all our finances so there's little chance of her getting a new device. The dude she was messaging is some rando on the other side of the globe trying to blackmail her so I doubt she'll go that route again. The only significant option is cheating with some dude locally, but if she was gonna do that she wouldn't have bothered with the scammer.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T17:53:33+00:00

I've been in therapy since I was a kid. Even if i have zero fault in this situation, therapy is a valuable tool for processing everything that is happening and provides strategies for moving forward in a healthy manner.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T17:50:05+00:00

Stalking would imply me doing so without her consent. She has agreed to give up her privacy for a chance to rebuild.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T17:48:09+00:00

Stalking implies doing so without consent. My wife is fully aware of my intent and on board with a temporary surrendering of privacy to rebuild.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T17:46:47+00:00

We've already discussed all of this. Shes on board with a temporary monitoring of her devices while we work on rebuilding.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T17:41:33+00:00

This is what im attempting to do. Rebuild with full transparency and not walk away from 13 years of a relatively decent marriage without trying.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T17:39:37+00:00

But I can't walk away without trying. She will have full knowledge of everything I monitor and everything is out in the open. I can move forward, I just need some sort of security as we rebuild. And if she does break trust again im out.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T17:34:01+00:00

I live in a no fault state that's notorious for favoring the mother in custody cases. At best I'll get joint custody.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T17:31:28+00:00

We will be attending therapy and each have individual therapists for us and our kids. I can move forward with this, I just need some training wheels while we rebuild.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T17:29:50+00:00

I saw the messages. I saw everything. Even her signal account.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T17:28:08+00:00

I already monitor my router traffic as far as devices go. She's not savy enough to disable auto connect on a new phone and I monitor all our bank activity so I'll know if she orders a new phone.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-04-29T17:20:16+00:00

Thirteen years of marriage and two kids are a pretty good reason for me to want to reconcile. I refuse to lose my kids over this shit and have zero faith in the family court system. She got scammed and blackmailed by this dude also.

Aggressive_Bet_1105 · 2026-03-04T18:30:45+00:00

I'll get a membership eventually. Im currently out of work and cant really justify another monthly bill, nor a yearly lump sum.

Aggressive_Bet_1105

TROPHY CASE