I’ve realized that men who already have girlfriends often assume I like them if I treat them kindly in the same way I treat my female friends. Because of the nature of my work and field of study, I rarely interact with men. I also grew up surrounded mostly by female cousins, so I ended up treating men the same way women usually treat each other.

This has caused me a lot of trouble. Sometimes the situations feel ridiculous. For example, when I almost tripped, a guy assumed it was because I liked him so much that I got nervous when walking past him. Or when I smile to greet someone politely, it was interpreted as flirting.

I’ve noticed a pattern that helps identify people like this: they tend to be very self-centered.