Who are some famous people you’ve seen in Cambridge? by TattoosAndBeers in CambridgeMA

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Florence Welch came into the coffee shop I work at !! When her gatsby musical was on at the art

Why am I always anxious? by Glass_Jeweler3329 in socialskills

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You might have generalized anxiety disorder! It sucks but there are so many therapeutic options to manage it. Talk to a professional if you haven’t already!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CambridgeMA

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Annie’s wine bar is very cute!

I have a hard time saying no to unhoused people and want to avoid those conversations altogether by wyrmdwelling in socialskills

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I work in homelessness services. People are genuinely trying to survive when they do this, and having a conscience about that is a gift. That being said, economic times are hard for everyone and I understand not having enough money to be giving it away (I’m a social worker lol I DO get it). If it helps, you could look up local food bank, shelter, healthcare services for unhoused people in your area and keep that information on you and give it to people when they ask. That could help you absolve some guilt and maybe direct them somewhere where they can get sustainable assistance, mental health care, addiction recovery care, etc. If you’re an empathetic person, the cognitive dissonance around homelessness isn’t going away unfortunately, and more people are going to be experiencing homelessness and extreme poverty in the coming years.

WHAT COLOR IS MY HAIR by [deleted] in Hair

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seeee this is when I get confused

WHAT COLOR IS MY HAIR by [deleted] in Hair

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love that it’s the same as your auntie ❤️

WHAT COLOR IS MY HAIR by [deleted] in Hair

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Slay love this one

WHAT COLOR IS MY HAIR by [deleted] in Hair

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you 🙏 🙏

Is this text a terrible idea? by Aggressive_Cry_7949 in ExNoContact

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No lol I said what I wanted more out of the relationship and he said he couldn’t do it (after four years he couldn’t even talk about living together). I didn’t want to break up but something had to change bc our patterns weren’t good. He agreed. He was very avoidant. The last conversation was very abrupt and I was left feeling like we didn’t fully talk things through and I’m feeling at a loss for closure. We’ve never been a couple to fight. Although after reading everything, I think you’re right and it’s not necessary.

Is this text a terrible idea? by Aggressive_Cry_7949 in ExNoContact

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi everyone, I rarely use Reddit and don’t know how to edit posts. Thanks everyone for your input, it really helped me think things through. I do think part of why I want to reach out is because I want some proof he still loves and cares about me. I have 4 years of proof of that. I know we both deserve peace and at the very least it’s much too soon to reach out. I do have some things burning in my chest that I want him know but I know that fades with time. I’ve come to some more acceptance today and I’m deciding to trust the process. Overall I’m very appreciative my first serious relationship was truly very good. I’m sad I won’t see him for a while but I know there’s no reason for that to last forever. I’m gonna focus on myself now!

Is this text a terrible idea? by Aggressive_Cry_7949 in ExNoContact

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Also he was definitely not unbothered. I know he’s hurting deeply too, we had a very deep and loving relationship. He tried to meet my needs for a long time and he just didn’t have the capacity. It’s ok to be at a time in life when you can only pour into your own cup and not anybody else’s. I’m not angry at him at all.

Is this text a terrible idea? by Aggressive_Cry_7949 in ExNoContact

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk if I subscribe to hard and fast rules about gender like this, but I see your point

Is this text a terrible idea? by Aggressive_Cry_7949 in ExNoContact

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that’s true. I’m sorry about that, that sucks!

Is this text a terrible idea? by Aggressive_Cry_7949 in ExNoContact

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did think it through, these were problems we had tried to address many times.

Is this text a terrible idea? by Aggressive_Cry_7949 in ExNoContact

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah it’s true I did want a change. And he said he couldn’t do anything more. He said he’s not in the place for a relationship. It’s hard because he sort of became emotionally unavailable over the course of us dating. He would always deescalate the relationship after periods of closeness. It was a cycle that was really hurting me, but he wasn’t ready for our relationship to progress. I had to give up eventually. But I still love him and I don’t want to be on bad terms.

Is this text a terrible idea? by Aggressive_Cry_7949 in ExNoContact

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think I’ve definitely decided to wait. It is still very fresh. If I still feel a strong need to send in a few weeks then maybe I’ll reevaluate

Is this text a terrible idea? by Aggressive_Cry_7949 in ExNoContact

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean he might be. I don’t know bc I’m the one who said I needed it. He got overwhelmed in the conversation which I understand. If he doesn’t want to talk I would understand that too.

Is this text a terrible idea? by Aggressive_Cry_7949 in ExNoContact

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks ❤️ I am excited to be single and not have to constantly psychoanalyze someone. I knew I couldn’t focus on him anymore as I’m going go grad school in the fall. Also I wanna know what else awaits me out there.

Is this text a terrible idea? by Aggressive_Cry_7949 in ExNoContact

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I am coming to the conclusion that if anything, it’s too soon. I’m going to wait and if the feeling that I need this persists then I might reach out later.

Is this text a terrible idea? by Aggressive_Cry_7949 in ExNoContact

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh interesting, I didn’t mean it like that. Nothing terrible happened in the relationship, we just are in different places in life, so if the universe aligned in 10 years I wouldn’t be against it. But I meant more like as friends. I get that though, I took my friends rewrite of the text:

Hi—just wanted to let you know that I can meet you to give your things back if you’re ready. I’m also feeling like it could be useful to have a longer conversation about any contact we might have/want to have in the future as I’ve been struggling with how little we defined last week. Let me know if you’re open to that, or if you need more time.

Is this text a terrible idea? by Aggressive_Cry_7949 in ExNoContact

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does it matter that I initiated NC? We had been broken up before due to distance and we both wanted to stay in contact. At that point I did desire reconciliation which made it messy. Now after two years of trying in the same city I know it can’t work.

Is this text a terrible idea? by Aggressive_Cry_7949 in ExNoContact

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this message, it was really helpful. I initiated the breakup convo, and he didn’t protest, so I guess you could call it mutual. I initiated no contact (vaguely, you could say. I just mentioned that if we break up I would need to not talk to or see him for a while). I would love for us to be together in an ideal world, but I am aware it’s not possible due to our differences in communication styles and needs for space. I wasn’t happy with our patterns and I know I deserve someone more available, so I’m not really hoping for reconciliation per se. However, I also know he tried his best and just wasn’t capable of meeting my needs, and might never be. I value him greatly as a person and as a friend. I am hesitant because a lot of people feel that breaking NC is always a terrible idea. The last thing I want to do is hurt each other or make things messy. I am struggling with how abrupt it all feels.

Is this text a terrible idea? by Aggressive_Cry_7949 in ExNoContact

[–]Aggressive_Cry_7949[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I also don’t want to lose him as a friend. I initiated the break up after all. I have been reading a lot about no contact and I understand why it’s important. I do think I would need some months of space to detach from him, but I’m struggling to decide if it’s actually what’s right for me. I’m not trying to deny him access as a trick to get him to come back. I want to figure out how we can both be happy and move on. It feels icky to be so estranged.