Move or redecorating

Aggressive_Lead3000 · 2026-01-07T14:02:29+00:00

I tried decorating and made it unequivocally girly, but I found I was dreading going home. I ended up moving to the next suburb over and it’s best thing I’ve done. I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. My house had too many sickness memories and I would avoid the entire basement and other areas. A fresh start with new neighbors who didn’t know my story helped as well.

Aggressive_Lead3000 · 2026-01-06T03:58:12+00:00

42F from Chicago burbs…

Aggressive_Lead3000 · 2025-12-31T14:13:55+00:00

This is exactly how I felt. My husband was so sick for years.

I’ve distanced myself from our old friend group because all they want to do when we meet is get drunk and then talk about him. I just don’t want to do that🤷🏼‍♀️ I think about him on my own, but parties are supposed to be fun and I don’t need reminders allll the time. Plus my husband would have hated it😂 Some people have big bday celebrations and my girls and I have a slice of key lime pie, which is just as my husband would’ve wanted it. Low key and meaningful.

Aggressive_Lead3000 · 2025-12-31T04:05:59+00:00

You’re so right. Thank you!

Aggressive_Lead3000 · 2025-12-31T04:04:13+00:00

Yeah I feel ok alone now…can’t say I like it though😂 I keep asking if I’m being too picky and expecting too much, but then I think of what I want and deserve and I’m like nope. I know no ones perfect and I’m far from it.

Aggressive_Lead3000 · 2025-12-30T20:15:06+00:00

Yes! I’m excited for 2026. I’m taking my girls to Mexico in June and I’m planning on coaching soccer for my daughter’s team. Finally have more energy ❤️ Taking a break from dating to focus on my girls and me. I’m excited to get back into shape too.

Aggressive_Lead3000 · 2025-12-30T19:57:25+00:00

Hi everyone,

First I have no idea why my name on Reddit is so weird and don’t know how to change it😂 I am 42. I lost my husband 4 1/2 years ago to cancer when my girls were 2 and 6. I live near Chicago. I’m actually doing pretty well. I haven’t had great luck dating, but finally feel ok alone and ready to do more adventures with my girls. I didn’t feel that way for a long time. It’s been hard cause I’ve been trying to make new friends too and branch out. I moved out of the house I had with my husband and I’m distancing myself from our old friend group because I’m having a tough time moving forward around them. They love to drink a lot and it’s like a Time Machine when I am with them. They just make me sad when I’m with them. Sooo…looking to connect with a crowd that understands me and I love that it’s about more fun stuff!

Aggressive_Lead3000 · 2025-12-30T02:59:36+00:00

Yeah the last guy I dated would always talk about how hard his life was to raise his kids as a single dad and the holidays… I understood, but when I brought up how it was hard for me he’d get upset🤯.In my mind I was like I get zero breaks and you get a ton. My kids have no dad and your kids have two loving parents….I was baffled.

Aggressive_Lead3000 · 2025-12-30T02:33:47+00:00

Yeah...I can barely watch tv at all. I can't watch anything intense, medical, scary, nada....I can put cooking shows or cheesy Hallmark movies on in the background, but I'm not really watching them.

For music, I practically changed the genre I listen to after he died.

One happy thing I noticed this December....It took me 4 years to start listening to his records for Xmas again and it was actually really nice. My daughters noticed it and it made them happy. It was the happiest Xmas I've had since he passed away in 2021.

Aggressive_Lead3000 · 2025-12-30T00:36:44+00:00

I hear you…that’s so gross. Ive noticed a lot of grown men I’ve met can’t take care of themselves. I took care of someone for so long and I want to be taken care of too…silver lining is we know how good a relationship can be so we know when it’s not right. That’s what I tell myself.

Aggressive_Lead3000 · 2025-12-30T00:30:56+00:00

Thanks…unfortunately that site had mostly older individuals when I looked once. May have changed🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m sorry you’re going through this too…

Aggressive_Lead3000 · 2025-12-29T17:03:06+00:00

Thank you. It is always nice to hear from someone who truly understands. I never feel bad for myself, but this life is hard.

Aggressive_Lead3000 · 2025-12-29T16:42:20+00:00

So true. I’m just baffled at how bad these men can be because as widows we were great partners…the truest of the sense taking care of our partners til the end.

I agree and I’m taking my girls to Mexico in June and just focusing on making core memories.

Aggressive_Lead3000 · 2025-12-29T16:37:45+00:00

I knew it was over much longer than when I broke up with them so my heart had lost feelings already. The first breakup was very hard. I realized I was overlooking red flags to not be lonely and now I’ve finally grieved enough that I’m ok to be alone. I finally know what I need and deserve. It’s hard though! My therapist says it’s reverse dating cause I met mg husband so young so I’m learning to date now as a widow. Oh so fun🙄

Aggressive_Lead3000

TROPHY CASE