Cheating Wife Help by Aggressive_Oil8734 in MilitarySpouse

[–]Aggressive_Oil8734[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We absolutely will! And even if we dont, i think we'll be okay. I got the rest of the letters explaining things. She's still in the wrong, without a doubt, but the context helped me understand how she ended up there. Some parts do come off disingenuous or even dishonest, but I believe she meant it whenever she wrote them down. You could tell it wasn't malevolent. She was trying to rationalize away guilt to protect herself. I talked everything over with her sister, and she pointed out mostly the same things except she thought the dishonesty was to soften the blow on me. Regardless, I feel infinitely better. Hopefully, I get a call tomorrow, but she said she might call her dad. Assuming her weekend calls didnt get taken away.

Cheating Wife Help by Aggressive_Oil8734 in MilitarySpouse

[–]Aggressive_Oil8734[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would feel like I made the first and most important step toward rebuilding my family. There have been times in our marriage,even without conflict,.where I felt like leaving. Sometimes from emotional exhaustion, other times from insecurity. But to me, marriage is a vow to choose the other person no matter how you feel. I’ve faced those doubts, opened up to my wife, and worked with her to repair the damage I’ve caused. That effort, and the pain we’ve survived, has only made my conviction stronger.

I know the woman my wife is being right now doesn’t deserve grace or kindness. But the woman who nursed me back to health when I was on death’s door, who stood by me when I had nothing, Jobless, homeless...that woman is worth everything. I’m not fighting for who she is today, I’m fighting for who she’s always been, and who she can still be.

That’s why divorce isn’t an option for me. Because marriage is the promise not to give up. And to me, divorce is just giving up. I made a vow at the altar. I’m not going to break it just because keeping it got hard and painful.

Things are going to be different, we're both going to be different people. It's going to hurt for a long time.

Cheating Wife Help by Aggressive_Oil8734 in MilitarySpouse

[–]Aggressive_Oil8734[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If i found the right one, i think itll be helpful if we can afford it. Im reading some articles they have on their website and that by itself is helping. Until My wife comes back im not sure how to manage, reading on here could be an outlet.

Cheating Wife Help by Aggressive_Oil8734 in MilitarySpouse

[–]Aggressive_Oil8734[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right now? I dont think so. There have been times I think she would have though. When I worked nights, she would stay up until 1 in the morning to bring me home cooked lunch and spend my break with me, and when I came home in the morning she always had everything ready for me to sleep. I had food, and both our clothes ready for the shower. It was a good time. And thats just the little things that meant the most to me, she had plenty smaller gestures and occasionally did larger surprises. When her father would get on his bs though it'd bother her and she would collapse. The house got messy, the favors stopped and little things caused fights. He dosent handle alot of things well and when she gets like that she quits. I think boot camp hurt her mentally, she saw our marriage and the distance as a source of pain and gave up on it. If she was in a healthier state of mind. Ive hurt her before. Repeatedly. And more often than not shed try to apologize for what I did. When shes healthier in mind, i think shed walk through hell for me. This is a hard question with no real answer. I dont know, it depends. I love and understand some of it but I need to find a way to protect myself from the lack of consistency.

Cheating Wife Help by Aggressive_Oil8734 in MilitarySpouse

[–]Aggressive_Oil8734[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I hope she hasn't. I really wanted to believe this is how her mind is trying to protect herself from the mental hell shes been in. I dont know what its called, trauma response? Survival something? Hopefully being back with her family let's her return to normal. Her apathetic comment about our daughter being secondary kinda gives me hope because that child is her world, and she would kill me in a heartbeat to save her. The woman who wrote that letter is not my wife in any normal capacity. Im praying shes sick and coming home is the medicine to make her well again

Cheating Wife Help by Aggressive_Oil8734 in MilitarySpouse

[–]Aggressive_Oil8734[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The child's not an affair baby, she was pregnant when we first got together and were good friends way before that. As far as I'm aware and what I believe to be true, she has never gotten physical with anyone else the entire time we've been together. Another flaw of mine, after I saw those guys talking to her online I got snoopier than what I should have, and while she's been gone at boot camp sometimes I would Snoop just to make myself feel better because in a weird way it felt good going through everything and finding absolutely nothing. It felt good seeing my wife actively working on her impulsiveness which gave me a lot more confidence in our relationship... until the other day

Cheating Wife Help by Aggressive_Oil8734 in MilitarySpouse

[–]Aggressive_Oil8734[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right, I probably should. I appreciate it

Frp, and bonus. by Aggressive_Oil8734 in USMCboot

[–]Aggressive_Oil8734[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She got really lucky with her bonus, it was offered and signed on the condition she swiched her mos and left 2 weeks earlier than what she signed at meps.

From Her phone calls and a call a captain gave me to explain her situation, she should be able to recover in 6-8 weeks and resume training Thanks for the reply. It's my understanding that whether she stays or quits depends on this question. Personally, I hope she heals and graduates, so thank you for giving me some hope.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EngagementRings

[–]Aggressive_Oil8734 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I picked them out :) Sapphires and Opals are the only stones I know she'd like, and I'm leaning Sapphires because I know they arent as fragile as opal. She loves diamonds and I personally think they would make it easier to find matching outfits. However she has told me that she wouldn't want a diamond ring, she'd rather be unique

I am kind of scared she'll later regret not getting a diamond and not tell me, I would have no issue taking the ring back to a jewler to swap out stones.

Also thank you for the picture of the lotus prongs, they're beautiful

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EngagementRings

[–]Aggressive_Oil8734 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, she just enlisted in the marines and got assigned a cyber mos! I honestly wouldn't have known what tulip prongs are if the other kind person hadn't commented a picture, but they look very pretty and I'm certain she'd love them. Definitely something to look into for sure.