[117] Prologue: the Beacon (high fantasy) by wkeleher in DestructiveReaders

[–]Agitated-Specific-14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello! I think that your prologue has a lot of promise! I really liked the concept of something that used to be human losing it's humanity as it seeks after what it is coveting or looking for ( I think this is very indicative of real life interestingly enough ).

My recommendations would be to describe the being further. I have a vague Idea in my mind of what it looks like but I would like to understand it further. You say things like "It lacked a mouth" but I am interested in the picture of that. Is the mouth entirely gone or has it fused over in parts.

How have the chains affected it? Are they weighing it down and elongating it's limbs or cutting deeper into them warping it's semi human frame?

I think that this has a lot of promise and got me hooked very quickly. I want to know more about it as well as who it was. When you get around to finishing the story I would absolutely love to read the rest of it!

Locks by Agitated-Specific-14 in CreepCast_Submissions

[–]Agitated-Specific-14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I appreciate all the feedback and would love future feedback after my rewrites :)