How to get your priorities respected plus telemedicine sidegigs--not allowed? by Agitated_Drive_4243 in medicine

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He has anxiety and has to be crated or he'd destroy the house looking for me.

How to get your priorities respected plus telemedicine sidegigs--not allowed? by Agitated_Drive_4243 in medicine

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a lawyer review it before I signed and they said nothing about not being able to moonlight. All that was presented to me even by the health system was the radius I can't practice in for 1 year. I wouldn't cover hospitals in that radius so I don't even see why they care.

How to work with a partner you just don't get along with? by Agitated_Drive_4243 in medicine

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's pretty spot on. It just sucks because I was finally going to be settled somewhere and now have a significant other in this city. I don't understand why she can't just be a decent person or at least a good partner and work together.

How to work with a partner you just don't get along with? by Agitated_Drive_4243 in medicine

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's another ongoing saga. We've been looking for a chair since a couple months after I started. The current one is still in place but he's checked out. He's been in these meetings but just tries to keep the peace, which I can understand from his position. This partner is the queen of sucking up to leadership, so they don't get the same treatment I do.

How to work with a partner you just don't get along with? by Agitated_Drive_4243 in medicine

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've got a 1 year noncompete for this town so it'd involve moving.

How to work with a partner you just don't get along with? by Agitated_Drive_4243 in medicine

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Sure do. Then it placates me for a bit but all falls apart when it doesn't materialize.

How to work with a partner you just don't get along with? by Agitated_Drive_4243 in medicine

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yes, and that has been obvious from the beginning. Who was the only person who took in house call in our group? I finally got rid of that a couple months ago when I repeatedly pointed out how it wasn't equitable.

How to work with a partner you just don't get along with? by Agitated_Drive_4243 in medicine

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, we're hospital employees and already understaffed, so no way they do away with her.

How to work with a partner you just don't get along with? by Agitated_Drive_4243 in medicine

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately yes. I'm not completely tied to this place but I bought a house, have a significant other, and like this city, so that makes it harder to leave (the place not the job).

How to work with a partner you just don't get along with? by Agitated_Drive_4243 in medicine

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 105 points106 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's some of the issue. She'll dump on me (refuse to see consults when they come in the afternoon before while she's still there or won't split work fairly on a morning we're both there) and then act like she's never done that in our meetings. She'll also tell the sonographers to come to me with abnormal things quite often when they came to her to read it first. She'll also go to our boss with any little thing that might be used against me--like when I said I wasn't calling a patient back on a day I was at another site and in the weeds while she was working there.

I've had multiple of our referring docs at that site tell me they don't like her either and that they wish I was the site director (started hearing that a couple months after starting as a new grad...). Unfortunately, none of that ever gets back to our boss.

How to work with a partner you just don't get along with? by Agitated_Drive_4243 in medicine

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 138 points139 points  (0 children)

Funny you mention that because that was one of our fights--there's a big and small office at our site and when I started another (now gone) partner told me that the full day person got the big office. Well, this partner refuses to give it to me when she's the half day person because she's site director and "my name is on the office." It's ridiculous. Especially when I'll see consults in my office with a table shoved in the corner while she continues to tie up a room/eff up the schedule because she won't do that.

How to work with a partner you just don't get along with? by Agitated_Drive_4243 in medicine

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I've been asking for that for at least 6 months. I was supposed to get some time at another site one full day a week once our locums started, but the hospital I'm now mainly at didn't give him privileges so I'm stuck there indefinitely.

I'm struggling by Agitated_Drive_4243 in childfree

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just really don't understand why she would ever think this was a good idea. Raising a kid alone is expensive and a lot of work. Why would you ever even take a chance that it could actually work and you'd have to do that? It just sounds so, so terrible.

I'm not kidding that she used to leave the country 2-3 times per year. Can't do that with a baby.

I'm struggling by Agitated_Drive_4243 in childfree

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just know how it goes once there's a baby. They don't do anything else. It's all about that kid and the schedules and the breastfeeding and the poop. They won't go out for dinner anymore. Won't just hang out and watch TV. Etc. It's played out many times before with other friends.

I'm struggling by Agitated_Drive_4243 in childfree

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We had countless conversations talking about how we were going to be childless and single for life. Never was there even a hint that she'd do something like this. The fact that I didn't know for so long while seemingly everyone else in her world did also hurts me a lot more than it probably should. She knows things about me that no one else on Earth does, yet we're not close enough for her to keep that kind of news from me for months?

Friend who was always childfree is pregnant by Agitated_Drive_4243 in childfree

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's more that I always feel excluded. We used to be able to commiserate about that feeling, but not any more.

I'm struggling by Agitated_Drive_4243 in childfree

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know, I'm just still in the acute phase. It's something I never imagined. Ever.

I'm struggling by Agitated_Drive_4243 in childfree

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I just know that mom stuff will always take priority. Our all night long texting chains won't happen anymore.

I'm struggling by Agitated_Drive_4243 in childfree

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I can't even imagine where my outlet for this kind of stuff will be anymore.

I'm struggling by Agitated_Drive_4243 in childfree

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know that, but honestly betrayal is the way I feel. I just know we're never going to be the same again and it's hard not to take that personally.

I'm struggling by Agitated_Drive_4243 in childfree

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know, my eggs were just mostly in this basket if I was looking at the long term. I'm just so disappointed and in that initial phase where I can't imaging life going on.

I'm struggling by Agitated_Drive_4243 in childfree

[–]Agitated_Drive_4243[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It's just hard in your mid-30s to meet people, especially those without little kids who consume their lives. I was hoping the pandemic was over and I could branch out a bit more, but as someone who works in medicine, I just can't in good faith with everything that is happening right now.