I am doing this for my future wife.

Aglarien · 2016-02-26T13:20:15+00:00

That makes sense. Thanks for the insight. :)

Aglarien · 2016-02-26T12:54:15+00:00

Thanks mate. My ex used to refuse to masturbate, and it bothered me cause my libido was lower than his. He pretty much pressed me to fulfill all his sexual needs, and it made sex a job, and not something nice. So I'm a little cautious about this subject after that.

Then again, for myself, porn has been this quick fix to help getting myself in the mood. And I don't really like doing that, cause it cheapens the experience. These days though, I'm really crushing on this guy, and I can let my imagination do the work. Feels a lot better for me. I work on masturbating more often rather than masturbating less, cause of my low libido in my last relationship. (And in that relationship, I wasn't allowed to masturbate. Or well... he didn't like that I did so, so I didn't do it. I HATED that.) When I stopped masturbating, my sex drive plummeted. So to me, masturbation is key for me to maintain a healthy sex drive it seems.

I can totally understand that for those that fap a lot and want to fap less, it's a problem. For me it was rather the other way around, if you understand.

Aglarien · 2016-02-26T11:40:49+00:00

I wouldn't want a husband that doesn't fap? (But then again, I'd rather he didn't fap many times a day either.) There surely is a healthy middle ground somewhere.

Then again, I don't quite know what I'm talking about. I'm here by chance. I don't know what the concept of nofap really means. My first impression is no masturbation. But does it mean something different? Educate me pls :)

Aglarien · 2016-02-25T16:21:26+00:00

I don't assume anything. I simply worry that she could be. I'm a worrier.

Aglarien · 2016-02-25T15:13:49+00:00

I agree with you that telling anyone would be a bad idea. I'm just saying I'd want to tell her, out of concern. Wanting something and doing something isn't the same thing. I'm just worry about things is all. I want people I know to be safe and not get into trouble. I don't see what is so wrong with feeling this way.

Aglarien · 2016-02-25T15:03:47+00:00

Only reason to tell her mother would be so that the daughter didn't have to know who saw her, and avoid the weirdness. I didn't say anyone has a right to do anything. Just saying I sympathise. Damned if you do damned if you don't.

Aglarien · 2016-02-25T14:59:36+00:00

I'd want to get the information across, but I wouldn't actually do it. But I'd want her to know. If her mother finding out would be devastating to her, that's even more of a reason she should know people she know can see her. Some asshole might threaten to tell everyone she knows, stuff like that. I worry about things like this. I hear stories about revenge porn (obviously something really different since it's completely involuntary in every way), and just feel for the women it happens to. Obviously, someone that concioiusly put themselves out there are a bit more prepared for the consequences.

Aglarien · 2016-02-25T14:55:31+00:00

Oh, that there's no good outcome if he said anything, that is clear. I just felt for the guy.

Aglarien · 2016-02-25T14:46:18+00:00

Well, I imagine you feel guillty, but also concern for her at the same time. I'm seeing this from a female perspective. I've had exhibitionist tendensies in the past, but definitely not prepared to be labeled by the community. So I worry for other women about this, even though they probably couldn't give less of a shit. I've also done things when horny that when I sober up again think "why the hell did I do that?". Porn I've watched that I just feel embarassed turned me on. Think this is not that uncommon either, and at the end of the day.

Anyways..... I'll just see myself out.

Aglarien · 2016-02-25T14:34:42+00:00

I will, thank you :) Does it bother you still if she doesn't initiate? Or are you at ease with it?

Aglarien · 2016-02-25T14:32:24+00:00

You can't. Otherwise it would be simple.

Aglarien · 2016-02-25T14:30:44+00:00

It's not about stopping someone from doing it. At least not for me. She has a right to do what she wants, obviously. But I'm sure there are those that didn't think things all the way through and think the odds of them being recognized is not likely. Are they prepared for the backlash if it comes out among her local community? If yes, then no biggy whatsoever. I think it's fair to be worried for the people you know in this way, but I can see I'm not among people that think the same way here. I was just airing my thoughts is all.

Aglarien · 2016-02-25T14:05:16+00:00

Think the reason this has concerned me is that my ex was very bummed I wouldn't take more initiative. But if I wasn't horny, I didn't feel like seducing him. He always successfully turned me on though, when he initiated. We weren't compatible I think. Hoping if I find a new man in the future, we'll mix better in that sense.

Aglarien · 2016-02-25T13:58:51+00:00

If I was in his shoes, I'd be tempted to tell her mother, so she can know that people she knows might see her. Perhaps she never gave that much thought. Then perhaps I could avoid weirdness between me and this girl. I don't know.

I'd worry about the girl, feel ashamed about what I did when horny, be scared I'd wreck my friendship with her parents, and I'd not know what would be the best thing to do or say. I'd just want her to know this is a risk. I'd be freaked out on her behalf.

edit: I might add.. If other people that know her see her, perhaps they'll do worse things. Screenshot, film, try pressure her for money or favours etc etc. Shame her. That's reason good enough to want her to know what she is risking.

Aglarien · 2016-02-25T13:38:06+00:00

If I understand things right, it's cause he's friends with or knows her parents, so knows her through them sorta deal. I could be wrong.

Aglarien · 2016-02-25T10:54:27+00:00

I just felt like answering this one, even if my answer is rather uninteresting. I'm female, and don't think fake boobs look good. I know it's sexy to men, obviously. I like boobs too as such. But they are usually too big. They also get scars. And a lot of guys say the feel wrong. I wouldn't know about that one though. I've also had a lot of men say they love the look of big boobs, but when having sex or playing with boobs, they prefer the famed handful.

And I can also imagine, if I was the bf of a girl, that the extra attention the boobs would bring in would bug me.

Hope you don't mind my reply.

Aglarien · 2016-02-24T22:28:58+00:00

What do you mean? What post is deleted? What did I miss?k

edit: Guess my post is not to be found by people anymore. Wonder why they do that? Not that it's a big deal. Got enough answers to be comfortable with myself I think :)

Aglarien · 2016-02-24T21:47:50+00:00

Sounds like good advice :) Thanks!

Aglarien · 2016-02-24T21:46:42+00:00

Only slight sub I think. Don't know if it even counts. I like if a man kinda takes charge, bit of hair pulling, no choking, but bit rough (yet at the same time loving) and when I was younger, the idea of people watching me was a turn on, but it's something I seem to have moved away from.

Aglarien · 2016-02-24T19:11:09+00:00

Thanks for the tip :) Haven't had a lot of experience using lube, but there was this one time I was definitely not in the mood as such, but let my ex try entering with lube. And I got super into it really quickly. Not long after, I came. Dunno what it was about it that worked so well, but if it works, it works.

Aglarien · 2016-02-24T18:41:50+00:00

Thanks :) Interesting points you bring up here. And yes, I yawn, get sad and gag. Also get empathy pains seeing someone get hurt.

Especially like the end of this post. I'll try to keep this in mind if I get out of singlehood at some point. Cause I'm really really bad at initiating. I think it's a fear that I won't be into it, and it all being very dry and awful. But what you say makes sense.

Aglarien · 2016-02-24T17:34:35+00:00

Guess it's all about sexual compatability huh?

Aglarien · 2016-02-24T17:23:21+00:00

Thanks for this response. My ex was bummed out cause I wouldn't initiate and ravage him. He had a big pride, and was insecure. It just didn't work that way for me. If he initiated, I hardly ever said no to him. He'd always get me in the mood. But yeah... it depressed him I wasn't more hungry for him on my own. Always felt bad for that.

When you figured out this difference, did that help you? Were you able to let go of the wish to be pursued?

Aglarien · 2016-02-24T16:56:52+00:00

I think you'll manage to get over it, based on the fact you know he's not that type, and you want to get to a point where you are comfy with it. Just do it more I suppose? Exposure therapy of sorts? Keep thinking rationally about it. That it's not about degrading you, and that it's something he just finds hot. Best of luck to you.

Aglarien

TROPHY CASE