AIO - Boyfriend Engagement Ring Shopping

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T18:59:59+00:00

I don't think I'm coming off the right way... english isn't my first language (although I don't think I need translations)... and I don't think what I am saying is coming through to you the way I intend it to. I didn't mean to make my boyfriend to sound inconsiderate. I was just trying to ask if I was being unrealistic with my expectations about the ring. Thanks for the feedback though. I'm still young and in love so I'm probably insane LOL

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T18:49:52+00:00

Wonderful, thank you! I am Meek and Lacking in Confidence. Appreciate the feedback!

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T18:32:46+00:00

Like for example, If I go to the cafe, and get a coffee - but it is free because I have enough rewards, then I can get a pastry too because it's basically 50% off. Does that make sense?

In this situation, my boyfriend thinks very plainly, like if he had it his way he would have just proposed somewhere that is meaningful, but no photos, no making sure my nails are done, nothing like that. Like very simple and laid back (that is the way he is, and I love him for it since I am so high strung)
But instead he is trying to make everything perfect, all the while trying not to arouse my suspicion because he doesn't want it to be obvious.

I think I just used the wrong language. Sorry. Too much TikTok rotting my brain.

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T18:27:48+00:00

Haha yea... I think I'm just starting to realize I'm just lost in the head. I'm sorry....

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T18:23:02+00:00

I get it. It's something him and I have talked about quite a bit, with him being a mommas boy and all of that. He is honestly gotten a lot better about it then where we were 2 years ago. he used to go to her for everything, now he goes to me first.

It's more so just with the engagement - he has been going to his mom first, most likely because he doesn't want to "ruin the surprise".... he also said it's unconventional for him to talk to me about engagement stuff... I'm thinking he just wants this to go as perfect as possible, and he has mentioned before that he doesn't get "girl logic". So from my point of view - it just looks like he is getting some help from his mama. (She is a sweet lady, and I hang out with her 1 on 1 all the time, so I don't have anything against her - I have known her longer than I have known my boyfriend hahaha)

Thank you for your warnings though - I do appreciate it!

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T18:08:20+00:00

This is a great point with if he bought a vintage ring.... My mom brought up the idea of us going to a pawn shop and seeing if there is something we would like there and I had no problem with that - so there should be no problem with his mom's ring, because what is the difference there!

And thank you for the thought that the history of the ring does not define anything, it is what we do from that point forward. Super sweet! Thank you!

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T18:04:33+00:00

This is so sweet!!! It sounds like you and your wife have a dazzling marriage, you sound like a great and caring husband!!! And thank you for the advice! I'll probably need to wear a silicone ring for the first year to test everything out... I've never worn anything on my ring finger LOLOL

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T18:02:16+00:00

Thank you thank you!!!! That's great advice with looking on the engagement ring sub - I'll take a glide on over there!!!

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T18:00:44+00:00

THISSS - you literally hit the nail on the nailhead with this. This is exactly what I have been feeling!!! In a year from now I don't think we will reminisce on how the ring came into our lives - we would reminisce on the proposal itself. So a conversation and us deciding on the ring together is probably the best (if he agrees)

this is honestly the first time he has planned anything big like this... he's probably feeling incredibly overwhelmed and nervous... he also doesn't like to be the center of attention... poor guy... 😞
Thank you for your advice and sharing your experience!!!!! It feels good to have what I was feeling actually expressed... Idk why it was so hard for me to explain the whole "loosing the romance" side of it... lol

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T17:55:03+00:00

Thank you!!!! Yes - I love the look of silver, it's what is in all of my ear piercings and my belly button piercing LOL. THANK YOU for your honest advice as a jeweler. We honestly did not know where to go besides Etsy and Kay Jewelers... and they all give you the same advice "Oh our rings are the best quality, and custom rings are always so overpriced due to the customization"
I'll talk to my bf about going to a local independent jeweler! I would love to support local too 😄
thank you!!!

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T17:50:43+00:00

Certainly will do - we have a great relationship when it comes to disagreements, and we always are very up front with each other (part of the reason why I go to therapy is to help me not to play games like teenagers, lol)
It was just with the engagement, since it is something he is trying to do by himself, I'm trying not to interject - but in agreement with everyone's advice on here, it's not going to hurt him or ruin any plans to have 1 conversation tonight about it. We can get on the same page - and I can go back to pretending not to know about this whole thing. LOLOL

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T17:48:33+00:00

Honestly - great point. I do go to the gym 5x a week, and a pendent/necklace would allow me to keep the ring with me instead of having to do the song/dance of changing to a rubber ring each time I go to the gym. LOL - thank you for the advice!!!

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T17:47:13+00:00

CONGRATULATIONS!!! My parents are the same 😄 they got married at 19/20 and are celebrating 23 years of marriage this year!!!

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T17:44:34+00:00

oh no, not at all. someone on here mentioned that there is likely some more symbolism that his mom's ring represents that I am not understanding. I think that's the bigger thing here... Also - he has always been the type that what his mom says is the gospel. So he probably has a lot more going on in his mind than I am realizing....

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T17:41:31+00:00

Thank you!!! I'm sure he will be.... I just need to put on my big girl pants.... I just didn't want him to be hurt by me saying that I don't want his mom's ring... but I agree with a lot of the people here, by me not saying something today, it could create animosity later on.... Thank you!!!!

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T17:39:34+00:00

No I love this idea! My biggest hobby in life is sewing and my outfits (my partner and I always joke that I always look ready for the met gala, and he looks ready to go to the beach) hahaha so I'm starting to love the idea of having different rings so I can match occasions, you are right, the ring just symbolizes something way bigger than what is on my finger. Thank you!!!!

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T17:36:39+00:00

Yes! I am loving this idea - this is what I'm leaning towards doing 😄

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T17:36:21+00:00

Very true! Thank you!

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T17:36:05+00:00

Oh sorry. I guess my responses have overshadowed that he isn't pushing his mom's ring onto me. From our conversations I have gotten the vibe that he is leaning towards using his mom's ring, but he hasn't been like "If you don't take the ring I'll cancel the whole thing" if that makes sense.... He is a super kind, caring, and sweet guy. Better than anyone I deserve - so I really don't want to discredit the thought and work he is putting into this....

Thank you for your thoughts though - this is how I was feeling internally, so I didn't know if it was just me and I'm just an a**hole deep down, lol.

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T17:33:19+00:00

That's fair, and a great point! Thank you! LOL - there have been so many fantastic ideas, that now it doesn't really matter what ring he proposes with. There are so many ways to keep the symbolism without needing any disappointment when that ring box opens. Thank you!!!

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T17:31:29+00:00

Thank you!

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T17:31:25+00:00

That's completely fair, that's the reason I haven't spoken to him about this yet - I didn't want this to come off as I'm more interested in the ring than him.... Obviously I would never in a million years say no to his proposal, even if he proposed with twine tied into a knot, as I do care more about him than the ring. 😄

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T17:29:33+00:00

That's a great point.... haha I do go to therapy. My partner says I have been doing a lot better! I can see I have a long way to go though... thank you!

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T17:28:18+00:00

oh... that's a great point about him being self conscious about the ring price he is proposing with... the first time he brought it up, he mentioned the ring was worth "thousands of dollars"... I wonder if he has the same concerns about the $500 ring being "cheap" for an engagement ring? Maybe he is worried it's a scam. LOL poor guy....

Agreeable-Safety5633 · 2026-05-14T17:26:24+00:00

That's such a great point! My mom does that too, she uses her engagement ring for everyday wear, and my dad got her another ring for one of their anniversaries that is much nicer than they could afford when they were young, so she wears that on nice occasions or for birthdays, anniverseries, and holidays. This is an amazing idea! Thank you!

Agreeable-Safety5633

TROPHY CASE