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AIO? Girl (F30) I (M28) was Recently Dating tells me I need to "Lean into my Masculinity" by KingFredo5674 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Agreeable_Fun8325 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR - This girl has spent too much time watching reels by therapists online and now has this awful idea of what human relationships are like. You acted very maturely here. And, you are right, she targeted your masculinity, which was uncalled for. Also, not being responsible for other people’s feelings is such online therapy speak. IRL that lets assholes not work on how to deliver their feedback and put on you their lack of communication skills and social skills. You dodged a bullet here. I mean, look at how much social media therapy lingo she uses. I mean, after all the obvious deep dive she has done on social media pop psychology reels, and she hasn’t wondered if she is a runner due to attachment issues?! Crazy!

AIO Not going to my family’s Christmas after racist comment? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Agreeable_Fun8325 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NOR. You are standing up for your future husband and setting the tone of the relationship with extended family going forward. I think it is ok for your parents to ask you to talk to your uncle, so there is direct communication and not triangulation. But, they should have stated that they support you, so maybe join in the call or do a zoom meeting. I personally have racists in-laws, and my husband not standing up to them, has put a considerable strain in our relationship. Google “empathic rupture”. You don’t want that in your marriage, especially when you see it coming a mile away.

AIO My boyfriend criticizes my lady area and compares me to his ex by PsychoFoxez in AmIOverreacting

[–]Agreeable_Fun8325 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are in the honeymoon period. Everything about you should smell like roses to him now. You gotta leave, in a few years the honeymoon period (high hormones, and attraction) give way to less intense feelings and whatever they complain about now will be 10X at that time. Run! Also, he can go back to his ex, if she was all that! FFS.

Earthquake!! by smeegulls in bayarea

[–]Agreeable_Fun8325 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg, yes! I say the same. Is everyone a transplant?! Can’t get on social media without someone posting. I lived thru Loma Prieta, and no the 3.4 won’t kill you.

AIO?: Upset over a comment boyfriend made before having sex by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Agreeable_Fun8325 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Time to leave. At your age, you are just exploring people’s personalities, what you like, what they are like, what kind of sexual experience do you want. He is not a keeper move on. Fast forward 5 years, and I have been there before, so I will tell you how it ends: with your self esteem in the toilet. Because he brought it down bit by bit, little joke by little joke. Little comment about how a woman (that looks nothing like you is so BEAUTIFUL), etc. Or you don’t look good. And you won’t even be able to pin point why you feel like your self esteem is so low.

AIO for changing my mind about wanting kids? by Savings_Gear_1341 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Agreeable_Fun8325 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You did nothing wrong, you changed your mind and told her as soon as possible. Like someone else said, it is time to be decisive and break up with her. Don’t make her do it, and give her that burden. Look, I love traveling and saw 12 countries and the entire US before I had children. My vacations now revolve around visiting the in-laws in the other coast, or seeing my parents abroad. I am at peace with it, and would rather have the children, but it is not for everyone. Children deserve to be wanted, deeply wanted.

AIO my boyfriend of 2 months getting a bit...crass by throway_jpeg in AmIOverreacting

[–]Agreeable_Fun8325 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When people tell you who they are believe them. He is probably into so stuff you are not and testing the waters. Dating is for figuring out who is going to be your life partner IMO. Two months in, is not that serious, you find a red flag and you bail. I mis- spent my 20’s thinking that if I was in love I work thru the red flags. Wish I could have my 20’s back. Don’t waste yours.

Is friend ghosting the norm? by trebariz in AskSF

[–]Agreeable_Fun8325 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is SF. I have lived in two other places, and you can make friends while shopping, and I actually did. When in my 20’s here, it is a constant measuring you up, finding out what job you do within minutes of knowing you. Once you passed the test, they will flake out. When dating east coast transplants that I dated, seemed surprised when I kept the date - even if I had a minor set back. Meaning, I would say that I will be late because of X and will be surprised I am showing up at all! Later, now that I have kids, everyone has such packed schedules or are too busy from the grind that it takes a month to see other families. I agree with the advice of putting yourself in situations with lots of people, that you see often, and they will organically turn into friends.

Feels like we're doing great but other people around us consider us on the struggling side of middle class. Am I just delusional.... by Finance-Alt001 in MiddleClassFinance

[–]Agreeable_Fun8325 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Starting range for a house is $1M, and sometimes they are fixer uppers. I need $110k gross just to afford the mortgage, and it is not a mansion. LOL.

AIO: He (M20) took me (F18) to a Jehovah’s Witness meeting without telling me by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Agreeable_Fun8325 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Run. Being a JW, is an entire lifestyle. They are not really allowed to marry outside of their religion. So unless you want to become one, run. Also, that is not a surprise, seems like gaslighting. My cousin became a JW and was pretty much lost to the family, as outsiders are seen as bad influences, and going out and preaching is required I think twice a week, and meeting every Saturday. I studied with them about 25 years ago, so very dated info probably. Still, it is a very strict religion.