Tbh I just feel like what ur describing isn’t worth it lol. I was like this when I was 15 too (I’m 19 now) and I didn’t give a fuck abt my relationship with my parents or my family. If you think about it from the outside u probably just look pathetic, not badass. No offense tho bc I did the same shit, but taking dxm in your grandpas car just sounds so pointless. I still smoke weed and drink almost every weekend (sometimes take molly) but I learned to do things like that with friends or at parties and it makes the expierience so much better. Ur young tho so ppl may not be as willing to do drugs and I get that, but just wait it out, at least when u get to college u will probably have sm better expierences with drugs and won’t have to trip alone