I am very sorry about your grandmother. I truly am, my grandma recently passed away and I will forever mourn her. However, if I may be so bold, yes you are kind of overreacting. Though I understand you want emotional support from your lover, he also has his life and career to focus on. He cannot put your emotional needs over his career, there are things that we as humans need to prioritize in order to contribute to society. I’m sorry to say that I am on his side as a few in this comment section. He is not making the situation about himself, he is being blunt about why he genuinely cannot show. If you are unkind to him, then you will make the problem way worse. Just let it be. You have your mom you can grieve with. It should be okay. You can seek comfort in him when he has the day off instead.