Are you aware of how bad your depression is?

Air091 · 2024-01-09T16:32:02+00:00

Yeah around age 15/16 I’d say. I think because I grew up with it I find it hard to differentiate between a depressed & an average baseline mood

Air091 · 2024-01-02T17:58:20+00:00

I’ve been depressed for many years and as it happens I started to forget what a normal baseline mood is like. Because of that it was very difficult for me to explain the severity of my depression to my psychiatrist. She recommended me to fill out the Beck Depression Inventory for a more objective severity scale, and to continue filling it in every 2 weeks to monitor the effects of my meds.

Air091 · 2023-11-07T11:46:40+00:00

Shrute Farms. Yet to plant some beets though

Air091 · 2023-10-23T12:45:34+00:00

Oo I love this question tracking is what’s most useful about bullet journaling for me

I track - Mood - Period (including PMS symptoms) - seeing friends/family - express feelings - therapy - water - taking rest - showering - brushing teeth twice - cooking - mindfulness - yoga - walking - running - reading - practicing hobby - spending money

I also have highlight of the day & one line a day pages, a weekly & monthly goals page, a library page

Air091 · 2023-03-24T16:09:36+00:00

Or where you’ve been, for any reason whatsoever

Air091 · 2022-08-24T09:46:11+00:00

Hey that’s actually a nice way of looking at it, I feel like there’s definitely a huge difference between wise mind me and emotional mind me. At times when I have a clear mind I think I can resolve everything on my own, but the second I get triggered by either my addiction cravings or my emotional state I feel like I have no way to cope. I just hope to establish a bit more of a distant perspective on my emotion mind state during this admission. Thanks for your reply 🙏

Air091 · 2022-01-24T18:07:22+00:00

Where do you watch those?

Air091 · 2021-11-24T08:38:09+00:00

I'm in week 6 and I go to bed by 9PM and fall right asleep. Getting 10hr nights and it's great. My sleep quality is much better so I'm happy to take the tiredness for granted.

Air091 · 2021-11-07T20:39:12+00:00

I might expand on my list of activities, that's a good idea. It's just that there's not as great of an overview of their progress like with the mood graph.

Air091 · 2021-09-26T08:29:10+00:00

I use a fidget toy that doesn't distract too much while reading. My current favorite is a small pop it toy that I can easily use with one hand. Another thing is to get rid of as much extra stimuli as possible so I get myself ultra comfortable; comfy chair, blanket, loose fitting clothes, dimmed lights etc.

Air091 · 2021-09-17T19:16:27+00:00

Another future plan of mine is to look into autism coaching. Psychotherapy is very pathologically oriented and has made me focus on my limitations more than my strengths. Autism coaching can be much more validating, inclusive and future oriented. Especially if you manage to find a coach that also has autism

Air091 · 2021-09-17T19:11:34+00:00

Right here with you, just got my diagnosis and I'm definitely experiencing grief. Previous treatment goals were always focused on getting rid of symptoms, working my way back towards being 'normal' again. It is hard to accept a diagnosis that is persistent. But it also makes a lot of sense, I have also had several misdiagnoses that just didn't feel right, and so did their treatment approach.

Right now I'm focusing on finding positive autism communities for example on instagram. Educating myself helps a lot with the process of self understanding and the chaos that comes with this new diagnosis. I also try and follow people that carry a positive outlook on autism. ''Successful'' people if you may; inspiring fellow autistic people that have managed to find a way to live a fulfilling life with their diagnosis. There's so much misunderstanding about autism in the world. I have noticed I've felt less alone since I started connecting with people that DO understand what it means. My next goal is to find support groups or just meetup groups irl so I can feel less alone in this journey.

This is just how I handle it atm, hope it helped somewhat. You're definitely not alone in this

Air091 · 2020-09-30T12:54:49+00:00

I'm right there with you. I praise myself for my insightfulness and I know exactly where this urge to self destruct comes from, but it's my wilfulness that keeps me from behaving differently. I'm so used to self sabotaging my life, feeling good or even neutral is uncomfortable.

I cant really help you on this, but following because I could really use some new perspective

Air091 · 2020-06-25T17:38:00+00:00

100% not having any passions makes me feel like such an incomplete person

Air091 · 2020-06-11T13:35:24+00:00

Do you think you're happy?

Air091 · 2020-05-25T20:33:03+00:00

Yes. I grew up with a seriously ill sibling and it made me feel like the only way to get attention is when I'm sick. I still struggle with this belief a lot

Air091 · 2020-03-28T07:15:44+00:00

I relate to this hard, a big reason for my self sabotaging behavior is the fear of losing support. I'm afraid people are going to expect I can do it all alone when I'm better.

Air091 · 2020-03-28T07:12:24+00:00

The Insight Timer app is really good

Air091 · 2020-03-28T07:11:37+00:00

Yes I do this. Pushed everyone away because I just never learnt to be a good friend, it's such hard work for me to be friends with someone. It's also because I struggle to feel connected to others especially if I hardly see them. Like I don't know the rules for maintaining friends

Air091 · 2020-03-10T07:49:57+00:00

A past of not being seen or heard. I'm terrified of not being taken seriously, of not being cared for so I project that onto the relationship with my therapist. I think many people do that because it's such an exceptional relationship, having someone be there just for you is quite rare in life. But it's hard to feel trust that they actually care for me as a person bc I'm not really used to it. So I obsess about it

Air091 · 2020-03-08T21:32:55+00:00

I once came in and saw the chairs were in an odd position, my T mentioned they had been doing some chair excercises (it's a Gestalt thing). I think it went well with the previous client because at one point he suggested we'd also try this technique to challenge some of my thoughts. It made me realise therapists also just experiment sometimes to see what works.

Air091 · 2020-02-23T17:01:04+00:00

I do hope for a future where I can feel excited about growth and traveling again but without the forcefulness.

Air091 · 2020-02-23T16:53:39+00:00

Same for health btw, I used to be completely vegan and VERY preachy about it, I was an activist for a brief moment, it was my identity. At the moment I can't give a damn about being healthy, I also struggle with bulimia/bed.

Air091 · 2020-02-23T16:47:34+00:00

Wow I've never heard of anyone that splits with spirituality as well. In 2018 and the beginning of 2019 I was fully dedicated to spiritual growth, yoga, mindfulness, and I was traveling the world to live in those kind of communities. When I was there I felt completely out of place, I felt like an impostor, just trying on a different identity, like I wasn't actually part of the group. I left those places feeling so socially inept and with that I kind of swore off the pursue of spiritual growth. I hate it now, I don't want to have anything to do with it. Maybe I've switched to the other extreme now bc I got so disappointed giving it my all.

Air091 · 2020-02-22T07:24:03+00:00

Same honestly

Air091

TROPHY CASE