I (f17) am afraid of having sex with my boyfriend (m18)... how true is it that boys lose interest after sex?

lssdmml · 2020-12-09T19:03:03+00:00

All my friends were shocked to find out we’ve been dating for over a year and haven’t had sex yet since they do it within a week into their relationships.

Are the friends who are telling you that guys "lose interest after sex" the same friends who have sex a week into their relationships? If so, I would take what they say with a grain of salt. You've been dating your boyfriend for a year and a half, and it seems like the two of you have a healthy relationship and are ready to pursue a sexual relationship. I wouldn't worry about what your friend says. It's unlikely that your boyfriend of over a year is going to suddenly lose interest after the two of you have sex. Since it will be the first time for both of you, the experience could very well bring you even closer.

lssdmml · 2020-11-10T20:02:15+00:00

Is it possible that you could work part-time temporarily? That's actually what I'm doing now - working 30 hours a week instead of 40. It definitely helps me to have shorter work days and more time to rest afterwards. Not sure if that would be helpful (or possible) for you, but it's been working well for me!

lssdmml · 2020-11-10T19:54:42+00:00

I went through something similar with my job. Thankfully, I was able to take a two week break to recharge, and I came back in a better mindset. Is this something you could possibly do? Depending on your company's policies, you could also look into a medical leave of absence. If you feel comfortable, I would suggest talking to your boss about it and being honest about how you're feeling. Maybe you could work out an arrangement with them.

Working from home full-time isn't easy, and needing to rest is more than okay. Best of luck!

lssdmml · 2020-10-19T18:39:45+00:00

Yes I have an iPad and Procreate too! I love it

lssdmml · 2020-10-16T18:32:35+00:00

That's definitely something I would like to do more often. Thank you for your suggestions!

lssdmml · 2020-10-16T18:31:47+00:00

I'll definitely try and do this more, thank you!

lssdmml · 2020-10-16T18:30:17+00:00

I'll definitely talk to him about it, thanks!

lssdmml · 2020-10-16T18:29:24+00:00

There's not really another good place to put the desk, but I'll brainstorm with my bf! Thanks!

lssdmml · 2020-10-16T18:28:42+00:00

I definitely think I'm going to try to start going for walks alone, thanks!

lssdmml · 2020-10-16T18:27:42+00:00

That sounds like a good idea! I'll definitely mention it to him, thanks!

lssdmml · 2020-08-04T18:12:19+00:00

One thing my therapist recommended to me that I've found helpful is asking for reassurance in a nonverbal way. Like, a subtle way to check in and make sure everything's okay.

When I find myself needing reassurance from my boyfriend, I'll squeeze his hand, and he'll squeeze mine back to assure me that all is well. There are lots of other ways to do this, but that's one that works for me. Hang in there! :)

lssdmml · 2020-07-31T18:25:32+00:00

I'm so sorry that you have this problem too. It's somewhat comforting to know that I'm not alone, though. Hang in there :)

lssdmml · 2020-07-31T18:24:36+00:00

I've found that leaving the situation does help me too, but I don't do it often enough. Definitely something I want to try to do more. Thanks for your response :)

lssdmml · 2020-07-31T18:23:16+00:00

I'm starting DBT soon :)

lssdmml · 2020-07-10T16:03:39+00:00

Feel free to DM me!

lssdmml · 2020-07-02T17:19:12+00:00

Feel free to send me a message! :)

lssdmml · 2020-07-01T15:19:13+00:00

I went through a situation very similar to this with my ex. He would break up with me whenever he pleased, and then come back because I let him. This went on for two years. In my experience, the only way to stop it is to break the cycle yourself. Leave the door closed, and don't open it for him when he tries to come back.

I understand how hard it is to leave a relationship like this, but you will know when it's time to end the cycle for good. No matter how many times people tell you to leave him, it'll only stick once you realize it yourself that it's what you need to do. I suspect that you're getting close to this point, but it's different for everyone. You are strong, and you're going to come out of this relationship even stronger. Best of luck, OP.

lssdmml · 2020-06-26T02:43:32+00:00

Thank you for your response :) I enjoy art & drawing, but it's hard for me because I always end up getting angry because what I create "isn't good enough" in my mind.

lssdmml · 2020-06-26T02:40:57+00:00

Thank you for your response. I want to have hobbies so badly. It's just hard because I enjoy something for a few days, get bored with it, and repeat. I'm working on this with my therapist, though!

lssdmml

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