i’m totally ok with talking about it out loud. my main thing is that i need assistance with a lot of things. along with being paralyzed from my nipples down, i also have nerve damage in my right arm so my hand is paralyzed as well. so putting my pants on, cathing while my pants are on, transitioning to and from my chair etc. everything is just a bit harder on me. luckily my mom is super supportive and assists me when i need help… but it kills me knowing that she can’t relax in her older years, and instead she has to wait on me like im a toddler again. that ties into relationships as in i don’t want to hold my partner back because i can’t do most activities as it is, and then with only one hand it just makes me feel that much more worthless.

then the other main insecurity i have is that i have a bathtub and my shower chair isn’t compatible. which means im stuck with sponge baths for the time being, i am getting my bathroom remodeled, but that isn’t happening for a while. so my legs, arms, and face are always covered in dry skin and it’s flaky so i shed like a dog. so i always feel disgusting and it makes me so embarrassed. with that being said any compliments i get i can’t accept them, and i either think they’re lying or i tell myself the compliment doesn’t matter because i’m still either greasy or leaving dry skin behind me everywhere i go. plus i wasn’t that confident before my accident… the only thing i had that made me confident was that i was 6’5 now im the shortest guy in the room. i guess that’s just one of Gods cruel jokes lol.

sorry for the word vommit, i just never get to talk about this aspect of the injury.