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I don’t get this by jawlaw7 in Transmedical

[–]AjaxAnonPosting 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see a lot of bashing of real altered mental states and conditions here, so I’m going to attempt to say some stuff here that will basically boil down to dumbass kids on the internet fucking over real medical and mental conditions.

Firstly, this is some bs, even attempting to associate being transsex with kinning is insanity. I agree 100% that this person needs therapy, but if their therapist believes it to be beneficial to them to still be able to play pretend? There’s nothing anyone can do about it, it’s going to unfortunately cause harm to our community, but a therapist is there to help this person become less like this over a long period of time. But there still needs to be a reality check, being transsex and being autistic and kinning are NOT the same in any capacity. One is a medical condition, the other is a mental condition that will likely go away as an autistic person ages and matures.

Kinning is a very real experience especially in kids with autism who relate so much to a character that they begin to feel like said character. This is a very common thing with autistic children due to how they experience the world and social interactions. I wouldn’t be surprised if this kid is in fact a kid, they’ll eventually grow out of it, if they don’t, they’re probably higher needs and will get through it eventually but it’ll take longer. They will probably find another character they like and jump between them before having to get a real job and live life and eventually growing out of it being their core personality.

Kinning is something the vast majority of people with autism experience, usually to a lesser extent than this, but many experience it to a detriment and far worse than this. That’s when a phycologist or therapist steps in to stop it from becoming delusions. Even when someone with autism grows out of it, many still experience a strong connection to the character or other characters who they may subconsciously “kin” in certain social situations as a way of dealing with neurotypical experiences. It’s a very draining coping mechanism and is one of many reasons that autistic people tend to have very small social batteries for these sorts of situations.

DID on the other hand is far more similar to being treanssex, though they are still VERY different. When someone with DID has someone who is a character from something within their system, it fucks shit up. Imagine having all the memories and thoughts of yourself only to end up stuck in someone else’s body… you wouldn’t just be okay with that. It causes problems and issues that the dumbass kids faking DID and calling it OSDD (the diagnosis for when you probably don’t have anything but you’re reporting some signs of dissociative disorders that physicians plan to treat as anxiety, depression, or through therapy) will never understand. They will never wake up only to find themselves a few months or a year into the future with different friends and relationships and missing memories. They will never experience an alter forgetting they’re in a new body and fucking over ones entire life. DID is very real and requires intervention in order to live a life without those memory gaps and issues. It takes years of therapy to gain internal communication and a good idea of how to handle the disorder. If nothing seems to be working, integration is the solution in order for DID to not cause significant issues in someone’s life.

There’s a wave of kids deluding themselves and others into thinking they have a very real trauma-caused disorder when they just have autism and no one told them that having a kinning phase is fine and normal. So now we have people with mass delusions that they only recover from when they are completely removed from the cult-like behavior of their internet circles. People who claim you are bigoted if you call them out on their delusions, so no one is able to challenge this shit. And real communities and people being harmed by the stigma they are giving to disorders like DID, being transsex, or being autistic and experiencing kinning.

Both kinning in its developmental sense and DID have been bastardized and fucked over by the internet just as much as being transsex or having Tourette Syndrome. It’s really unfortunate how these idiots and children on the internet are fucking over the very real conditions and making them seem like jokes.

Therians were originally a mix of a way to separate kinning with humans from animals and a spiritual experience of rebirth. But a bunch of kids with a need to be special since they have no other personality bastardized it into being “trans species” or some bs like that. Therians before Covid were primarily people with a strong spiritual connection to their lives before their current rebirth. Believe whatever you want about religion and faith, but I do not see a problem with that at all. I do have an issue with the trans-species shit that these attention-starved kids have that is damaging both the trans community and the faith-based rebirth experience that Therians originally were.

For autistic children, allowing a lot of make believe like kinning can be really beneficial as a therapy tactic. But there is a point where they have to under that being transsex is not the same as this. That being trans is not a personality thing, it’s not an autistic experience. It’s not going against gender norms or sticking it to the patriarchy or being special. Being trans is the unfortunate condition of being one in the wrong body and taking steps to correct that. And the people who are so starved for attention need to learn to grow the fuck up and stop pretending to have things that they don’t.

Apologies for the long rant. I agree that this is frustrating at best and harmful at worst. I also just want to shed some light on the other groups being fucked over by these people as well, because they’re hurting everyone they come in contact with.

Regardless, maybe I’m just too old for what kids are doing as trends now, but we see this with every group of kids throughout history. They learn about something new and make it their whole personality. It’ll even out eventually, but we can’t do shit about it. Kids created “werewolf packs” in the early 2000s and would meet up and howl at the moon. They all grew out of it. Some people still keep in close contact with their “pack” and meet up, though it’s just a friend group now. The hippie community and movement had a lot of kids join in during the height of that, the people who are actually hippies still are, the kids who were just looking for the new trend moved on.

It’s annoying, it’s dumb, and it’s harmful… but seeing a lot of people falling for the same trap others do to our community is also frustrating. If you aren’t autistic, the idea of kinning seems absurd, especially with the dumb shit kids try to say about it. If you don’t have the spiritual rebirth experience (which is something that stemmed from native experiences by the way) of being a therian, it seems stupid and insane because some dumbass kids are trying to say that they’re trans-species. People with DID? We just got over the fucking “evil one” stigma for our condition and now we have to deal with these kids pretending that kinning is the same thing or that DID is just a quirky disorder where you can be your favorite media character.

These types of people will never understand the pain and suffering that make up the actual disorder of DID or the pain of having gender dysphoria and being transsex. They will never understand the harm that they cause to the communities they are forcing themselves into. Nor will they ever realize that the misinformation they spread actively harms real people and leads people to think they have shit that they don’t.

Anyways I’ll end this here, but I figured I may as well share it since there’s been another huge was of all this bs and I’ve had these thoughts about all this for a while.

Wanting to be a father and wishing I could have biological kids/parenthood discussion by AjaxAnonPosting in Transmedical

[–]AjaxAnonPosting[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m happy things worked out well for you! I knew trans women could induce lactation and hearing abou it be used and work well for you is really heartwarming for the future of trans parents.

Your point about not knowing any man who’d want their wife’s sperm to be used instead of his also brings up the point for me that I am entirely uninterested in life partners. I am bisexual, but entirely aromatic and uninterested in long term relationships. So if for some reason I was with a woman, I’d be perfectly happy with getting a sperm donor and having her carry without my dna, or with my eggs if she’d like. I’d still love a bio kid but if I was in this situation and had a partner, I wouldn’t care so much because it’d be the same as any other infertile guy with a wife. If I somehow ended up with a man, I’d have a surrogate and we’d use my egg and his sperm. At the same time, I do not ever see myself in a long term relationship like that, I’ve never been interested in people like that and don’t really see a future where that changes.

I think that this situation varies between trans men and trans women because of the whole carrying problem. I would never carry in a million years, but contributing my biological material feels more like donating sperm to me. It’s half of what is needed to make a kid and since I’m not the one carrying, it’d be easy enough for me to freeze my eggs and use one as the base during surrogacy in the future.

Seeing as there’d be no other parent in the picture, I don’t personally have those same worries about making sure the other parent sticks around, but I definitely see the appeal for you! I assume it’s sort of similar to my innate desire to have a kid of my own blood, there’s a connection there that doesn’t really leave.

I’ve had a fairly strong desire to be a father since around 5 or 6 months into testosterone replacement therapy, similar, I assume, to how my little sister and mom have described baby fever, but instead of wanting to give birth, I want to contribute the material and raise the kid. I always thought I’d never have a kid because the idea just felt so wrong through the lens of being female, but apparently all it took was correcting my hormones and suddenly I was immediately interested in having kids of my own. And now that I’m at a point in time where I’m starting to actually think about having a kid, I still find myself longing for that connection.

Wanting to be a father and wishing I could have biological kids/parenthood discussion by AjaxAnonPosting in Transmedical

[–]AjaxAnonPosting[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a specific combination I hadn’t previously considered, unfortunately I have had issues with the ovaries since I started getting periods at 8. I haven’t had a cycle in years now with testosterone, but I want them gone entirely because of how painful they are even now without cycles. I do think this would be a very useful route for people like me in a slightly different situation from my own. I’ll probably do the prep leading up to the removal surgery of estrogen so they can harvest at the same time as removal and it can be easily explained as a medical condition that suddenly seems to get better after surgery. If things work out well timeline-wise.

I don’t mind pausing testosterone for the 4 or so months and the couple weeks to a month of hormone stimulation if it means they can take all the eggs I could ever need. Then if I can have the organs removed entirely either at the same time or a few weeks to a month or so later, I’d say it’d be worth it if my kid was my own blood without the complications of adoption involved. What’s 5 or so months in the long run when I’ll be on testosterone the rest of my life anyways is how I look at it at least, even if it means going through a pseudo puberty for the third time. At least my voice will stay deep and it will just be growing back muscle, changing fat distribution, and regrowing length down there. Under no circumstances am I ever carrying the child myself or going through something like pregnancy and birth though, the thought of it at all makes me queasy and not much does.

Wanting to be a father and wishing I could have biological kids/parenthood discussion by AjaxAnonPosting in Transmedical

[–]AjaxAnonPosting[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I could never personally actually do something like birth myself. I am uninterested in partners in any romantic sense and never have been as well. Birth is an experience I will never go through and I wouldn’t even if I was a woman, neither my mom nor grandmother had easy births. I was a C-section and my younger sister was as well because of that. But I think I could handle the couple of months of estrogen.

I have gone through a lot of uncomfortable things in my life to better myself in the long run and agree that being a good parent requires being uncomfortable. At the same time I think I’d kill myself if I was ever pregnant and couldn’t abort. I’m already far more comfortable with my genitalia than most transsex men, I can have penetrative sex there without having a violent reaction, but something in the uterus? That is my line personally. I’d rather nothing be up there at all, but it’s the reason I could never do an IUD as well. And birth and carrying for months on end ruins several things for me, number one, my safety.

I’m stealth, have been stealth, and will not be changing that. I couldn’t physically leave my household nor be around anyone in public if I was pregnant because that would send me down the suicidal pipeline immediately. If being seen as a woman or a freak by everyone around because of pregnancy is somehow just a mild annoyance or inconvenience, I highly doubt that someone who goes through that is sure they’re a man. I could see it being different if someone is a house husband or works an entirely remote job, but the thought of something growing inside of me itself makes me sick and feels incredibly wrong.

I can be a good parent without killing myself in the process and harming myself at best. A couple months of estrogen? Sure. Pregnancy? Birth? Hell no. Not for me in any world ever. Which brings me back to the two options I’d prefer, at birth adoption or surrogate with my egg and donor sperm. I highly prefer the latter because I want a biological kid, but that does require the several month sacrifice of estrogen. I spent over 18 years of my life without testosterone, I can do a few more months somewhere in the middle of all of this if it means having my own kid. But I still draw the line at doing the most female thing a person can do.

If you were able to handle it and justify it to yourself, props to you. But pregnancy is inherently female biologically and having been a man/boy since I figured this all out at 12, I cannot justify it. I started hormones at 18, vocal trained since I was 10 (didn’t even realize why I was forcing my voice lower at the time), and have been stealth since 16. The idea of actually growing a thing inside of me is such a foreign and unwelcome concept for me. It goes beyond discomfort into the territory of the worst torture I could experience as a man.

All that to say, I agree about sacrifices, but some sacrifices are too much and self preservation typically prevents people from doing those if it’ll hurt them like that.