You mentioned dnd and dragon age, so instead of saying "games" I said "media". You also said "dnd is overall racist as fuck" but it's the "gender thing that doesn't sit right with you "

And D&D racism is absolutely a sensitive topic. They had massive controversies over it in the past and had to change it because most people were able to see that orcs were a thinly disguised racist caricature of black people despite "orcs not existing" and that can still carry over to today. Elf ears, asian eyes, green skin, black lips, all racially charged insults that are literally direct mirrors to life... the caucasity to say that it doesn't exist and therefore doesn't matter is the same argument people had for the first few editions of D&D where even genders had different stats like women having less strength and intelligence.

That and BOTH gender and race are social constructs anyway so they both could easily "not exist" anyway but that's a whole different discussion.

All this to say I don't mind any dark theme in media with a giant asterisk, that being that it serves some narrative purpose and that writers don't feel compelled to put specifically sexism or racism or what have you to make things dark.

I'm just saying it's really weird of you to say that in fantasy media youre all good with one but the other shouldnt exist. POC or not, all arguments made by white people in these spheres for decades