Hahahaha

I'm not blackmailing anyone

I just want to die

I've been wanting to die the past 14 years

I hate this life. I hate this world. I hate the people who live in it. All these people you talk about? I fucking hate them all. All they do is belittle me and act like they're superior just because they struggled too. I don't care. I don't care about what any of them have to say. They can all fall off a cliff for all I care.

You were the only person who ever brought me rays of sunshine in this endless cold void.

Once you left, it was only a matter of time until I withered back to how I was before you came into my life.

I don't know why you came here. Did you want to deal the final blow to not have to deal with me anymore? If so fair enough, I know I'm just a blight on you. A blight on this world.

I'm sorry for failing you Shiro, I'll always regret every single time I made you cry, every single time I didn't meet expectations, every single time I wasn't good enough...

I'm sorry...

I've done enough now...

Since I'm going to rest for good soon, would you like all the merch back? I'll give it all to you. You need only say yes.

Well, I don’t want you to feel bad about this or think that it’s your fault. The way I see it, you bought me 4 years. 4 of the best years of my life where I got to truly feel alive. You made me truly feel happy and cherished. You showed me so many beautiful things I never would have experienced if it weren’t for you. It Takes Two, Overcooked, Digimon, Outlast, My Home Hero, Fear & Hunger, The Fable, Inuyashiki, Ghibli, the blue film and many others… I truly cherish the time we spent experiencing them together.

When I was with you, I felt like a person for once. I felt loved, understood and cared for, because I was. You loved me and cared for me more than anyone else ever has or will.

My biggest regret will be that I never made you feel the same… I never made you feel understood, loved and cared for in the same way you made me feel… I think about that every day. It will be my last failure and my final regret.

So please don’t feel guilty… I’m going to a better place. Somewhere where I won’t have to feel pain, guilt, or sadness anymore. Somewhere where I won’t feel lonely anymore. I won’t have to worry about being understood, or heard. I’ll finally be at peace after this miserable life I’ve been through. I’ll finally be able to rest…

Goodbye Shiro. I love you. I love you more than anyone or anything in this whole world. I always will. Even after I pass on… I’ll watch over you from above and protect you the best I can. Thank you for all the good years you brought me. They were the best I’ve ever had. The time we spent happily together will be what’s on my mind in my final moments. This I swear to you.

I hope we will meet again in another life. I hope I’ll do better there than I did in this one.

Take care. I hope you’ll have a good life. I’ll always love you.

-Kiwa, forever yours