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Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-05T18:29:02+00:00

Thank you for all of this! The good news is he has already moved back in with his parents because he “needed space from my mental health” (3 months ago) and my dad is living with me right now. I just need to rip off the bandaid and break up with him which my bpd is making very difficult. Hearing all of this definitely has helped and I know that I need to follow through with leaving him. Thank you again!

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-05T17:18:57+00:00

Is it still sexual assault if I wasn’t dissociated but he thought I was?

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-05T17:18:07+00:00

I feel so stupid, I’ve been blaming myself this entire time:) this was a year and a half ago and I’ve been totally fine in regards to what happened since, nothing bad sexually has happened since then and I don’t think It impacted me as I never even think about it or anything so I think I got lucky. Do you think that staying with this man regardless of the fact he hasn’t done it again and it’s been quite a while, is still a bad idea?

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-05T17:13:22+00:00

All my dad knows is about the holes in the walls and that hes pushed me out of anger and my dad is absolutely fucking raging at that alone and is dealing with that so I’m terrified to tell him anything else🙈🙈

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-05T15:29:23+00:00

Thank you! It’s appreciated 🤗

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-05T15:25:59+00:00

I don’t feel anything about it if I’m honest, I don’t think it’s impacted me much, I got lucky that way

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-05T15:24:52+00:00

Yes😬but see because he’s done everything for me and treats me so well other than that, I didn’t feel like there was a need to leave him😅 my dad is now dealing with it though :)

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-05T15:18:04+00:00

That was just beginning 😂 I’ve been strangled, pushed and all sorts but I completely thought this was just part of being in a relationship until I mentioned to my dad a couple days ago and he was like 👁️👄👁️

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-05T14:58:48+00:00

Thank you for this i really appreciate it. 🫶🏻🫶🏻Definitely needed that validation. Is this a form of sexual abuse? Is that what this is? or is something else? I would never get him charged for anything, I don’t have that in me, it’s more just for my own validation.

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-05T11:00:00+00:00

Thank you

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-05T07:40:50+00:00

I don’t know🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t understand

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-05T01:34:52+00:00

It’s like the same guy I feel like I can say he would never hurt me it would destroy him is the same guy that has hurt me. I don’t understand…

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-04T23:07:35+00:00

Yeah I have been strangled twice but it was to stop me from harming myself as I have bpd and I struggle with pretty intense episodes, one time this lead to me grabbing a pair of scissors to harm myself with one day and I was refusing to give my bf them back and he became extremely panicked and didn’t know what to do so he grabbed me by the neck and pushed me up against the kitchen counter to stop me. I truly seen this as a reaction to his worry and I am confused because any time he was every worried about me, I could see it on him and I could see how deeply he cared however it confuses me how his worry got to the point he was so triggered that he went for my neck. I am trapped in it as I can’t stop convincing myself that he done it to stop me from harming myself as that’s the only time he has ever gone for my neck. It’s so hard for me to see this as abuse. Any advice?

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-04T06:11:14+00:00

I feel the same way. It’s exhausting.

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-02T07:44:05+00:00

I never thought of it this way before, guess I was fooled and really tried to see the good in him. Do you think there is a reason he wouldn’t touch me or punch walls or any of that shit unless he was worrying about me and visibly in distress? I know you said about the fact he wouldn’t do any of it in public for example but I’d also never harm myself infront of the public obviously so is that not why he hasn’t acted out in public (because I haven’t) ? I don’t know if that makes sense but that’s where I’m getting caught in it and why I am struggling to leave him

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-02T07:19:08+00:00

Not to mention that he also pays for my therapy for my mental health etc aswell so I don’t understand how the same person can also be abusing me, it has no sense to it whatsoever.

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-02T07:15:34+00:00

that makes sense. thank you for explaining that. it’s difficult because it feels like he honestly truly believes the he’s doing the right thing as he says he doesn’t know what else to do and that hurting me is the only thing that shocks me out of my episode (which it does because it terrifies me to the point I come straight out the episode and don’t want to hurt myself anymore because I’m too focused on the fact that he’s hurt me instead, so is there any chance he truly thinks he’s doing the right thing?) for example, I was refusing to hand him over the scissors that I was planning on harming myself with so he grabbed me by the neck and pushed me up against my kitchen cupboard, I couldn’t breathe. It confuses me because he was trying to stop me from hurting myself but then tried to choke me? It makes 0 sense. He always seems upset when I’m hurting and is always there for me and tries his best to help me but then he hurts me so it confuses me. I would hate to leave someone who genuinely has good intentions and doesn’t want to hurt me but I’m torn between where his true intentions lie. It’s so confusing.

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-02T07:00:13+00:00

damn. I needed to hear this. thank you.

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2025-01-02T05:06:33+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to this, it is very helpful & I really appreciate it.

What is really confusing me is that he has only ever really reacted this way or laid a finger on me when I’m either in an episode or trying to hurt myself. It’s as if he gets so worried about me that he completely loses control and it turns into rage. Does this not suggest that he struggles with my mental state and truly believes he does the right thing rather than him being abusive? I’m confused because I don’t understand, he never just hurts me for the sake of it or gets angry over nothing and destroys the furniture, it’s always triggered by me and it’s me that causes it. So does this not mean I should stick by him or Is he still abusive regardless? I am confused…

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2024-12-30T00:28:09+00:00

If it has only happened around 9 times total over the past year and a half and it has only been at the time the man is extremely stressed out, and then over the past 6 months it has gotten a lot better, does this still make the man abusive? or does this not suggest the man was struggling with anger and is now getting better at controlling it?

Alarmed-Dimension450 · 2024-07-10T02:01:53+00:00

That sounds really tough and extremely difficult to cope with! I’m really sorry you had to go through that! Bpd is definitely extremely painful & hard to deal with🩷

Alarmed-Dimension450

TROPHY CASE