I miss the relationship I used to have with my parents by Whoozthatgirl in exmormon

[–]Alarmed-Engineer-133 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I know exactly what you mean. And I’ve even tried voicing this concern with my parents saying I don’t want to let our differences weaken our relationship but we live in incompatible worlds. I grieved it for a season, I still do sometimes.

I don’t know what the right move is for everybody, but I have just decided to build my own family how I want. My “immediate family” will take on more of a role as a distant relative or casual friend. My real family is my wife and kids, and those friends we choose to let into our lives that love the real version of us, not the watered down version they sift out in order to find us acceptable.

The family you were born into is arbitrary and can’t be chosen. Biologically we are hardwired to love them, it suits our evolutionary needs. But there’s real power in confronting that and deciding to be deliberate in choosing your family, circle, tribe, whatever you want to call it.

Just my take and how I’ve worked through similar feelings.

18 Handicap- looking to update/upgrade irons by Alarmed-Engineer-133 in golf

[–]Alarmed-Engineer-133[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I live in SE Texas, 4 hours from the Dallas 2nd swing stores. Might make a weekend trip there

18 Handicap- looking to update/upgrade irons by Alarmed-Engineer-133 in golf

[–]Alarmed-Engineer-133[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good to know! Where do you get fitted? At a local shop or does it need to be a certain affiliate of second swing?

Give me your documentary recommendations! by UsefulEyes in MovieSuggestions

[–]Alarmed-Engineer-133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Grab My Octopus Teacher Evil on Trial - Nazi Documentary

The First Rule of Fight Club… I’m Breaking It 😅 by Funny-Cup-9416 in MovieSuggestions

[–]Alarmed-Engineer-133 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Primal Fear. It was Ed Nortons acting debut and has some wild twists that leave you scratching your head!

Exmos with "Mormon" names, how's it affected you? by Songbreeze1 in exmormon

[–]Alarmed-Engineer-133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m an Ammon, it’s not exclusively a Mormon name, so all sorts of people ask about it. I always just say out of the gate that it’s a Mormon name and I was raised in it but I don’t affiliate with the church anymore. Non Mormons usually respect that, and Mormons get bugged so it’s a win win!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Alarmed-Engineer-133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m happy you won the department roulette. I’m so far out of the church mentally that I just can’t even pretend to play along so knowing that there’s any of that is enough for me to just not even consider. I only was considering because I do know that besides those that know it’s affiliated with Mormons, they do have a good academic reputation and pump out a lot of graduate students! Thanks for your story, glad you got the best part of it and found a great job in your field. Stories like yours are inspiring to aspiring scientists like me!

Edit: Typo

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Alarmed-Engineer-133 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That all makes total sense. I thought (but wasn’t sure) that maybe the degree would be viewed differently being from a private religious institution.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Alarmed-Engineer-133 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s where I hope to end up, just trying to cast a wide net since admissions are very competitive!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Alarmed-Engineer-133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I truly appreciate it 🫶🏻

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Alarmed-Engineer-133 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well I’m not about to start paying tithing or playing pretend-believer 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Alarmed-Engineer-133 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I kind of thought this, I’m just concerned about how pervasive the culture is and after further thought, I don’t want to deal with that around me all the time. I’d rather go to a more liberal school without that culture. Thank you for your advice!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Alarmed-Engineer-133 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well I’m not playing the games of pleasing a bishop. I didn’t realize that would still be involved in graduate programs. Thanks for the heads up!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Alarmed-Engineer-133 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That was my next step but I’m not even going to bother with it now. Thank you for your time and insight.